Revelry
by realjena
Summary: Years after a painful breakup Sookie and Eric run into each other unexpectedly. Where will this meeting take them? AH/AU. RATED M – for language and lemons. This is a re-post of my first story for this site; now all cleaned up and re-edited. *Complete*
1. Chapter 1: Chance Meeting

_**So, this is a repost of my very first FanFic story. I was unhappy with the way it read and couldn't finish it without fixing it. I still haven't finished it, but I promise I will. **__**I can't guarantee an update schedule. My beta is in the process of moving to a new city and I'm looking for full time work (RL is just a huge, huge pain in the tush!), but it will give me something to post while I'm writing new chapters for "A Thousand Years" – which I should be posting the next chapter for within the next week or so.**_

_**I could give you a long list of why there's been such a delay in ATY, but I'll sum it up by saying: holidays, in-laws, family, holidays, illness, 40**__**th**__** bday, illness. Yeah… that sums it up nicely.**_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, Charlaine Harris does. It's all my fault they're in this mess though.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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As I saw him walk into the bar it all came flooding back to me. Everything he'd meant to me; every moment we'd shared as both friends and lovers, as well as all I'd missed these last few years with his absence since I'd made the biggest mistake of my life thus far. The emotions coursing through me were so powerful, my knees buckled and I damn near fell over. I hadn't laid eyes on him in years; it was a lifetime ago that he was mine. How the hell was I supposed to survive this night now?! I couldn't cope with seeing him; not after all I'd lost when I let him walk out of my life. _Let him? Ha!_ In truth, I'd essentially thrown him out.

I stood there like a deer in the headlights staring at him. I was struck immobile by not only his mind-boggling beauty, but by how very much I still loved this man. Even after all this time. All I had wanted when I left my house tonight was a girls' night out, something to relieve a little stress… now I was supposed to deal with the long-lost love of my life?! _I don't fucking think so!_

He hadn't seen me yet so as I searched his immediate area for _her, _I quickly calculated my escape options; no way was I staying here now! I was shocked when I didn't see her hanging from him like a baby howler monkey. Last I knew, he was hardly allowed to use a toilet without her clinging to him. So what was he doing here now, without her? I didn't know her very well, and I certainly hadn't kept in touch with him once he left, but I couldn't imagine wanting him to be several states away from me for even a moment. My heart still ached five years later with his absence. I hadn't seen him once in all that time. I couldn't fathom being separated from him if I were still getting a daily dose of Eric. She was out of her mind to let him come back here without her. Eric is the total package; there would always be a long line of women trying to snatch him away from her. I know I'd be at the front of that line…

I hadn't heard he was visiting. If I had, I certainly wouldn't have come out tonight! I couldn't tell you whether or not he'd been back to town since he'd first moved. He was taboo; everyone knew not to talk to me about Eric and his tramp. They also knew I was not to be let out of the house if there was a confirmed sighting. I'd made it quite clear after all that had happened, I couldn't face him again. Luckily, my friends and family seemed to respect my right to be a sniveling coward.

_Speaking of cowardice_… I'd finally decided on my escape route, now I just had to get to that damn exit. I turned to Tara to let her know I was bouncing.

"I can't stay here. I'm so sorry, girl, but I'm leaving and I'll call you tomorrow."

"Oh hell no, bitch, you ain't going nowhere! We just got here, and you've been busting my balls all week to go out tonight! No way are you fucking leaving now!" my best friend informed me as she grabbed my wrist, attempting to keep me there.

"Tara, _HE'S_ here. He's here _right now_! I can't stay!" I was all but screaming at her in a full-blown panic. I wrenched my wrist out of her grasp and turned on my heels.

She said something else, but I wasn't listening. I had to leave, NOW! I turned to walk away from her when I suddenly felt as if I'd run into a wall. I hit whatever it was so hard, I wondered briefly about whiplash as I started to fall.

As my brain processed the fact that I was falling, I prepared myself for impact. So the jolt when I stopped moving wasn't a surprise, but fact that it came from the wrong place in my body was. I had been expecting to fall flat on my ass after smashing into whatever it was. Maybe even hit my head on the edge of the bar near Tara. Instead, I was yanked back upwards by my midsection. I was still a bit shaken when I realized the brick wall I had in fact hit was a person. It was this man's hands, gripping my hips, that kept me from busting my ass in a very crowded bar. I was staring at the _extremely_ chiseled chest of my savior when the realization hit me a microsecond before the scent registered deep in my subconscious.

The feelings coursing through me told me who had the kung-fu grip on my hips long before I saw his face. No one had ever stirred my emotions like this man. _Eric Northman_. Sexual feelings aside, his mere proximity spoke to my soul. His hands were still on my hips and I could feel his gaze on me, smoldering and powerful, just as I remembered. _Shit, fuck, piss, screw… there would be no getting out of here quietly now!_

I was trying to gather my courage so I could look him in the face, practically hyperventilating as I turned my gaze upwards towards all I'd ever wanted in this world. He was so perfect; every inch of his 6' 5" frame was the epitome of beauty. His flawless chest with the muscles tastefully hinted at beneath his shirt. His strong, dimpled chin and chiseled jaw line. _Wow, how I missed nibbling along that jaw towards those full lips!_ Those LIPS! And finally, his vivid blue eyes.

As our eyes met I knew my trouble had only just begun. He seemed as awestruck looking at me as I was him. He didn't have to say it, it was written all over his face. Those hands that saved me from falling had firmly attached themselves to my hips and were now gripping me even tighter. He started rubbing his thumbs against my stomach slowly as he held me. The way his eyes locked on mine made it feel like he was staring straight into my soul. _If I cried right now, I'd have to hang myself immediately upon leaving tonight!_ _There was a nice tree out in the lot…_

"Well, Sookie, this is indeed a surprise," he practically purred at me.

How could I have ever forgotten how perfect his voice was? Warm and smooth like melted caramel, or chicory coffee. There'd never been another man whose voice could pierce through me the way his did. I could melt into the floor at the sound of his voice – those simple words caused my heart to skip beats and set my lady parts aching.

"I had no idea going out tonight would be so interesting." He licked his lips slightly. "I figured I'd be bored most of the night, and yet here you are to save me, at the beginning of the evening even. It _must_ be my lucky night!"

_Speak, you fucking idiot! You have to make a sound and stop being lost in his eyes; he's going to think you're brain damaged! Come on voice, SPEAK! _"Well, you know me; I can't resist shaking things up." _Really, Sookie? That is the best you could come up with?! You __**are**__ a fucking idiot! I wonder if it's physically possible to crawl up your own ass and die? Because right now I'd be willing give it a shot!_

"Yes, my sweet girl, I do seem to remember your flair for the dramatic." He gave me _that_ _smile_, the one that always made my stomach knot and my heartbeat flutter. "But you could have just said hello, you didn't have to throw yourself at me."

"Wow. Throw myself at you, huh? I see time has not diminished your ego." _Throw myself at him?! Yup, not as gooey inside anymore. _He'd gotten my back up, and quick.

"Time out, Sookie!" he said quickly. "I meant no offense by that. I was trying to be funny, though apparently my attempt was unsuccessful." His hands still had not left my sides, but now his thumbs rubbed a little harder and faster as if to wipe away my anger. "I truly meant no harm. It's been so long, my Sookie. Please don't get all worked up and run off just yet."

He actually looked scared! Big, bad Eric Fuckin' Northman actually looked terrified that I might get pissy and run away. No shit?! His hands were still rubbing away, only now they were moving up and down slightly on my sides, like you might gentle a spooked horse. His eyes locked with mine. So help me, I'd missed this man. My body screamed at me to throw my arms around his neck and never let him go, my brain told me to run for my life before I got hurt again, and my heart was just so fucked up I was surprised it could still beat.

He was still rubbing away, so I figured what the hell? I put my hands on his biceps and caressed them slightly in return. I'd all but forgotten anyone else was in the bar until Tara spoke up.

"Sook, I thought you were just leaving?!" She gave me that shit eating grin that all but slapped you with a 'ha ha, fuck you, bitch'. There really were times I wasn't sure why the hell I called this irritating know-it-all my best friend!

Eric stopped caressing for the first time since his hands came into contact with my body. _Oh hell!_ Now I wanted to cry because he'd stopped. What the hell was wrong with me? _Emotional whiplash, anyone? We serve it in heaping portions here on the Eric/Sookie express train to Whatthefuckville, so there's plenty to go around…_

"You're leaving? I was hoping we'd be able to catch up since the opportunity has fallen into our laps." He looked scared again, and he was still not rubbing. _Why did this piss me off and make me want to sob in equal parts?_

"Well, I guess I could stand to stick around for a bit. It has been an awful long time." I was sure I might just shit myself by the end of tonight. And since I was not in the habit of bringing spare clothes or adult diapers to a bar with me, I was well and truly fucked right now. And _not_ in the way I wanted to be!

"I can't tell you how pleased that would make me." He resumed his rubbing, deeper than before. It wasn't painful, but it felt as though he was trying to rub himself into soul. It was simultaneously really wonderful, and overwhelmingly frightening. "Not to be too bold, Sook, but I was wondering something." He looked at me with the most breathtaking smile I'd ever seen. "I was wondering if I might give you a hug. I certainly don't want to overstep any boundaries and offend you doing so, but I believe it is customary for long lost friends."

"Yes, I believe I have heard of this custom before." I could hardly get the words out as I anticipated holding him. "I wouldn't be offended if you wanted to engage in this activity." He was being so formal, yet coy, that I couldn't help but to play along.

"I would very much enjoy giving it a whirl, Lover." With that he slid his hands slowly from my sides around to my back. Hearing my long lost nickname made my insides twirl in the best, yet most horrifying way.

He had yet to lean into me for the hug; he was just holding me with his hands linked firmly around my lower back. His eyes hadn't left mine since I first looked up at him. My hands were now on his shoulders, my thumbs stroking him lightly as I held my hands there.

"I must admit that I am a bit afraid." He licked his lips slightly as he smirked at me.

Well, no shit! Him, afraid? "Of what?" I whispered.

"Of breaking this spell, of course. If I look away from your eyes, I am quite certain you will disappear. And I'm not ready to say goodbye to you again yet, my Sookie."

Well, shit again. _Do not cry, do not cry!_ "I promise, no poof, I'll still be here after our hug. Though if you've changed your mind…"

I hadn't finished speaking before his hands pulled me to him. I moved my hands to encircle his neck and laid my head against his chest. His arms wrapped around me fully and he rested his chin on the top of my head. And just like that, I was back in the place I'd always felt safe and protected. My favorite place.

_Don't cry Sookie! Jesus, for the love of all that's holy, please don't cry!_

He drew me in closer and I was fairly sure I'd lose my composure any moment. He left one arm wrapped around my hip, his grip like a vice, as he moved the other hand up my back and finally grasping me by the nape of the neck. I had my arms on his back and _God help me_ I couldn't help but to caress its strong planes slowly as I hugged him. I'd missed him so much and it would kill me when this feeling ended tonight. But at least I'd have this moment…

He kissed the top of my head and pulled me closer still, though I was beginning to wonder if he was defying the laws of physics by doing so. I had no idea I _could_ get closer to him right now, short of him actually being inside me. Those were dangerous thoughts, and I knew we should break this up. This was improper, no matter how good it felt; he belonged to someone else now… but I couldn't make myself let go of this man. Thankfully, he didn't seem to want to let go either, if his continued kung-fu grip was any indication.

"Well, what the fuck, you two?! Care to either break it up or get a room? I mean, damn!" Tara, incredible touchhole that she was, had apparently decided she'd had enough.

We started pulling away from one another slowly, almost as if we were held together by a gravitational pull. It was like scene from a movie, and I kept waiting for the sappy music montage to accompany our slow withdrawal from one another. Our eyes locked, our faces so close I could lick him were I bold enough, and my breathing hitched. He stopped pulling out of the hug and leaned his face into mine ever so slowly. His cheek slid across mine as he moved his lips towards my ear.

"I can't seem let go of you, Lover. I find I am enjoying holding you. I may have missed this feeling just a little more than I care to admit over the years." As he whispered, his lips brushed against my ear, sending shockwaves through me.

I shivered, I couldn't help it. That simple feeling had set my whole body on fire. He moaned ever so softly as I trembled and pulled me back in closer. We held each other for all we were worth, and I was very glad I didn't get to sneak out of here earlier when I tried. No matter how this would tear me up later, there was no way I'd give up this feeling for anything on this earth. I'd missed him, and _this_, far too much.

"I find I love this hugging custom. You feel most wonderful against me." His lips brushed my ear again, producing yet another tremble from me.

Eric began to pull back again slightly; the soft yet scratchy skin of his cheek sliding against mine, while he laid several chaste kisses on my face as he moved. His lips met my skin in a whisper of a kiss where the ear meets the cheek, a rub of his nose along my jaw line, a kiss in the center of my cheek, and finally a feather light kiss at the corner of my mouth. He finally pulled back enough to look into my eyes and then took my face between his strong hands.

"I've missed you so much, my Sookie." With that he brought his lips to mine slowly; his eyes never leaving mine. It was a very gentle, very sweet kiss; our lips barely touched as he held my face.

_I was lost!_ There was no way I could walk away from him now! Maybe ever…

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_**If you loved this story the first time around, I hope you enjoy it even more now. Especially since I know there's an end in sight.**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_

_**Jen**_


	2. Chapter 2: The Kiss

_**Thank you to everyone that read, reviewed, alerted or favorited this story (whether it was this time, last time or both). I forgot to mention last time that originally MissyDee and Balti K were my betas for this. On the re-work, it's just Balti K. Not because I don't love my MissyDee – because I sure do! But she's a busy gal and I'd rather she write her stories than proof my stuff (I'm a bit of a fangirl of her stuff and don't want my lil' guy slowin' her down).**_

_**Disclaimer: Still don't own these guys. Damn it!**_

_**Anyway, enjoy…**_

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The world could have burned around me as our lips met and I swear I wouldn't have noticed. His full, soft lips were moving against mine and while it was still tender and sweet, our overpowering need for one another began creeping into our kiss. The encounter became a bit more involved; no longer was it just a gentle brushing of lips. It was now parted mouths and exploring tongues. His hands moved from my face only to wind themselves within my hair. I wasn't able to hear his moans over the music, though I could feel the effects in our kiss where they vibrated against my lips.

My hands drifted as our mouths continued to move together. I was rubbing his back as I pulled him closer, not able to resist letting my hands slide over his perfect backside once or twice. I gave his ass a tentative squeeze which caused another, longer moan against my lips. When my hands finally found purchase against the backs of his thighs, I began kneading and caressing the area just below where his insanely long legs met his perfect ass – one that Adonis himself couldn't hold a candle to. He pulled me impossibly closer, every inch of my body flush against him like a second skin, so I could feel _exactly_ how much he enjoyed our kiss. The memory of precisely what he could _do_ with that sizable erection caused my lady parts to tingle and ache in desperation. _Sweet, merciful fuck I wanted him!_

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?!" We both jumped a foot in the air at the unwelcomed intrusion, but somehow didn't let go of each other.

My temper flared when I realized it was my assclown of a brother who had ruined my moment. _I might just have to poison that mother fucker at this Sunday's dinner._ He was looking at Eric and I like we had three heads apiece and had just come after him with a butcher's knife intent on cut off his Johnson. If he hadn't just interrupted a reunion I'd dreamed of every night without fail for the last five years, I probably would have found his expression quite funny. But at the moment I was totally pissed and going Lorena Bobbit on his ass sounded like a brilliant plan!

"Eric, what the hell man?! I'm ten minutes late and you're already all over Sookie. You said you needed to talk to me about something? And unless I'm mistaken, you can't do that with your tongue down my sister's throat!" I couldn't tell if he was truly pissed, or merely annoyed that I was stealing his spotlight. Jason could be such a little bitch sometimes. I thought about telling him to "put on his big girl panties and cope," but I wanted to see if he could manage to remove his head from his rectum unassisted first. I wasn't holding my breath, of course (this was _Jason_, after all), but I was hoping.

"Yeah Jason, I still need to talk to you. Thanks for meeting me here." Eric's eyes came back to mine. He looked both irritated and amused at the same time, a look that was oddly sexy on him, I had to admit. He brought his lips back to my ear and brushed against it lightly again as he pleaded, "Please don't leave, lover, I wish to speak to you tonight, too. Will you wait for me?"

I was powerless to stop the tremble that happened every time his lips brushed my ear. I was utterly unable to speak, so I simply nodded instead. _Eloquent? No. Effective? Yes._

"I've enjoyed our reintroduction very much. I will return to you shortly, and then I promise you will have my _full_ attention." He kissed the tip of my nose and with a wide, sexy grin he walked away with my bone headed brother.

I stood there for a minute just dumbfounded. What the fuck had just happened to me?! I thought I had finally gotten past missing Eric, and now I was fucking making out with him in a bar. _Well, shit._ I turned around and there was Tara, looking at me with the biggest freakin' grin you'd ever seen. She turned back to the bartender and ordered two shots of tequila.

"No training wheels for us, thank you," she told the man, and handed one over to me. _Well, shit - again._ Here we go… I was in really deep shit if she was giving me shots of tequila with no lemon or salt. We gave a silent cheers and tossed 'em back.

That crazy bitch ordered another round, still no training wheels, and two behemoth margaritas for us. Down went round two of the evil shots and now I was holding a very large, very strong drink that I was expected to drink _in its entirety_. She grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the back deck. It wasn't a terribly fancy bar, nor was it a fabulous porch, but it was home to us. We'd been coming here to drink for years, all the way back to when we worked here. We'd come to love Merlotte's, and though both of us were glad to not be employed here now, we still _had_ to come here at least once a month for an evening out.

We found an open table and sat down. She had the familiar 'hurry up and spill the beans' look on her face and wasted no time beginning her interrogation. "Well Sook, you gonna tell me what the fuck your little 'blast from the past' in there was?"

"As if I know?! I was trying my damndest to sneak out of here before he saw me, then was nearly knocked on my ass running straight into him like a fucking moron, _and_ _then_ I end up making out with him like a lovesick teenager instead of leaving!" I shook my head, seriously wondering how this shit always happened to me. _I really must have been some evil hag in a past life to deserve the ridiculous amount of fuckery that plagued my life!_

"Why isn't he out with that two-bit bitch he's been messing with? Fucking troll that she is!" Oh yeah, now I remembered why she was my best friend... Tara had a knack for saying exactly what I was thinking sometimes, only more _colorfully_. "I know you've never stopped loving him, Sook, but if he breaks your heart again, I swear I might have to go medieval on his ass!"

I couldn't help but laugh. Tara might be a cold-hearted bitch sometimes, but she's always had my back. _Always_. "I know, T, but I can't think about that right now. I still have to talk to him tonight; I promised I would." My stomach was in knots thinking about what the hell was coming my way. "Anyway, what's up with you and my half-wit brother?" I asked in an attempt at both deflection and distraction.

"Well, there's another stupid fuckin' man who doesn't have a clue what the hell is good for him. Like he's going to find someone who will put up with his ass like I have! I've loved that boy since we were kids, but if he don't pull his head outta his ass soon, I'm over it!" Tara ranted.

"I agree!" There was nothing to do but laugh. My girl… she was so eloquent sometimes. And then it hit me. "Maybe it's _us_ that need to remove our heads from our backsides. They seem perfectly happy right now. And we're over here, miserable, pining away for them." _Fuck this shit!_ "Tara, whatever happens for either of us later tonight with those two yahoos, let's go have some fun right now. Fuck men and their stupid bullshit! Let's go dance!"

We slammed back the rest of our drinks, leaving us both a bit rosy cheeked from the amount of booze we'd downed in such a short time. I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the dance floor. We spent some time relaxing, just getting warmed up; dancing, laughing and having a great time. When a sexy song came on, we were just liquored up enough to really dance up the joint. We shimmied lithely, doing our very best dirty dancing, barely noticing that we were gaining an audience. It wasn't as if Tara and I never did this, because we did! And on nights when tequila was involved, it was a guarantee. We'd get drunk, we'd get dancey, and then we'd get the hell outta dodge (generally without a one-nighter in tow, though that wasn't a hard and fast rule for Tara), but it always brought us an audience.

I was having enough fun dancing and laughing with my best girlfriend that for just a moment, _a very short moment_, I had managed to forget Eric was back in town. I was ever so briefly able to escape into my own little universe where the love of my life hadn't moved away with a troll-slut and left me broken-hearted. My reality check came in the form of two very large hands suddenly gripping my hips while pulling my backside up against a very prominent erection.

Tara just rolled her eyes at us, tossing her hands up as she started to walk away high and mighty like she was the Queen of Sheba, but she pulled a _Sookie_ by running right into Jason, ruining any clout she might have had. He caught her before she landed on her ass, proudly sporting his very best "fuck me" smile. One kiss and a touch of his hand and apparently Jason was forgiven, not that I'd really expected anything different when it came to those two. They were like moths to a flame and could never stay apart for long. Now _they_ were dirty dancing, far more sexily than she and I just had been. If she were in a skirt, I was fairly certain they'd be doing "the deed" right there on the dance floor.

His lips were at my ear again, "Lover, can we go outside to the porch to talk for a bit?"

_Fuck, more trembling from me. What's wrong with me all of a sudden?!_ All I could do was nod at him again. Apparently nowadays, his touch turned me into a quivering mute. _Lovely. I wonder if I'm drooling too? Might as well complete the Sookie-tard trifecta… _ He kissed my cheek, then turned me around and took my hand. With our fingers linked, he led me out to the porch.

"Please sit, Sookie, we have some things to discuss." He pulled a chair out for me, pushing it in after I sat down. The look on his face as he took his seat next to me made me want to cry. His eyes blazed like molten lava as they held mine. He had the most intense, and yet hopeful, look on his face.

_Well, shit._ With him looking at me like that, I was utterly and completely screwed.

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_**Not sure when I'll post again, probably within the next few days. I plan to spend all day today and tomorrow working on ATY. But if I get blocked, bored or sidetracked, you may get another update sooner than I'm anticipating.**_

_**Thanks for reading! Love and hugs to all!**_

_**Jen**_


	3. Chapter 3: Revelations

_**Disclaimer –Charlaine Harris, Alan Ball, and HBO own them – I'm just having some unpaid fun.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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"Sookie, before I start, I have a question for you. It might not be any of my business, but still, I need to ask…" He paused briefly, catching the attention of the nearby cocktail waitress, ordering us fresh drinks.

I could hardly breathe I was so nervous! And while I had butterflies in my stomach the size of pterodactyls, I wasn't convinced another margarita was the doctor approved remedy for what ailed me. Unfortunately, I couldn't seem to force my mouth to relay those concerns in order to turn the evil drink down. Instead, I sat staring at him like a blithering idiot, anxiously awaiting the moment he'd give me the clues I needed to ascertain why my world tilted off its axis tonight.

Luckily, having to sit there staring at Eric while I awaited his insight on my shifty world was no punishment. Eric remained, without a doubt, the most beautiful man I had ever seen. Everything about him was simply perfect. _Everything_! And his perfection went so far beyond his looks, my heart constricted within my chest just thinking about it.

_Why did I have to be such a child five years ago?! _

He was mine – mind, body and soul. And he loved me unconditionally, taking time daily to do all the "little things" that would keep me from ever mistrusting his love. The problem with his devotion was that I just couldn't handle it. I was young, insecure, and wholly unprepared for a love of such magnitude.

So… I sabotaged us. I was bitchy and snarky to him, searching for reasons that we wouldn't work and trying to pick fights. I worked tirelessly to cause problems, doing everything within my power to show him that we'd never work out in the long run. I eventually succeeded. I pushed him away so vigorously that he ultimately landed in someone else's arms.

_But, it was my arms he was in five minutes ago…_

That thought sobered me briefly. What was I doing thinking about our demise when he was sitting across from me, looking at me like I was a gift from the Gods? _Being an asshole. Again. That's what!_ I straightened up in my chair and struggled to shove the past from my mind.

Self doubt and insecurity are cancerous and eat away at all commonsensical thought, however. So while I knew _logically_ that I needed to hear what he had to say, especially given the rapture on his face as he held me earlier tonight, the festering feelings of self-hatred made me want to run for the hills. No matter how much time had passed, the surest way for me to end up in tears was for me to dwell on pushing away the love of my life. I could feel them coming, those traitorous tears that would make a fool of me. I was about to excuse myself in a futile attempt at saving face when the waitress returned with our drinks.

Eric thanked the girl before turning his full attention toward me again. There would be no escaping this discussion now. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "Sookie, before we get into everything I want to say, it really is imperative that I get the answer to one thing. May I ask my question?"

_He could ask me to recite the Gettysburg Address right now and somehow I'd find a way to psychically link to that speech._ So what else could I say but yes?

"Please. Ask me anything, Eric."

His name falling from my lips tasted as sweet and sinful as a summer ripened berry dipped in luxurious chocolate. My pulse quickened, and I knew in that moment I'd _never_ get over Eric Northman. Even if I lived a thousand years.

He gave me a thoughtful look and reached for my hand, pulling it into his. He didn't entwine our fingers, he simply encompassed mine before rubbing gentle circles on it with his thumb. "I had forgotten what hearing you say my name does to me." Eric smiled tenderly at me. Shaking his head as if to clear it, he continued, "So my question is...are you seeing anyone at the moment?"

And just like that my world tilted again. Why would he ask me that? He'd been with that bitch from _Rent-A-Ho_ for a long while now. Why should he care who I was with? Was he trying to remind me that I fucked up royally when I let him go? That being broken hearted and alone was my punishment? _Or_ was my real penance to sit there with him tonight to have him play games with my emotions? And while some small part of me knew it was ridiculous to blame him for a simple question, the reality of all I'd given up five years ago was more than I could bear in that moment. Unjustified or not, my anger soared.

"Well, Eric, at the moment I'm sitting here looking at you. _So…_ I guess I'm seeing _you_." Well shit, that wasn't what I meant to say! "But, if what you're really asking is if I'm romantically involved at the moment, the answer is no." Okay, hopefully that was a somewhat-believable recovery from my wayward ramblings. _I'm seeing you… fucking hell! I need to see a doctor about the faulty wiring in my brain, and quick!_

His face lit up with a joy that seemed to radiate from his very soul. "You're truly not involved?" _Dear God, why does he have to look like a kid on Christmas morning at hearing I'm single?_

"No, Eric," I shivered involuntarily as I uttered his name again, "I am presently single."

"My sweet Sookie, I can't tell you how happy I am to hear this!" He breathed out while rubbing my tiny hand between his gigantic ones, smiling at me like a fool. _Oh look… He's made himself a hand sandwich! Yup… I've fucking lost it! Hello Eric, goodbye brains…_

"Eric, why do you care what I'm doing with myself these days?" I had to ask, I was only human, after all. "You left. You moved away and got yourself a replacement model, so what do you care what or _who_ I'm doing?"

"A replacement model?!" A vicious and sudden anger crept into his voice. "A replacement, huh? Well, Sookie, I never asked for a replacement if memory serves." His unexpected fury surprised me. Maybe neither one of us was emotionally prepared for our sudden reunion. It seemed we both lacked the ability to stay calm and rational for long. _Speaking of irrational_…

"No, you didn't _ask_ for one. But you sure took it home anyway, didn't you?" _I just couldn't stop talking!_ I knew I was pissing him off; I could see the hurt and anger in his eyes, but I couldn't make my mouth stop moving! "And not only did you take it home, you moved the fuck away with it to boot!"

He looked as though I'd slapped him; his face grimaced, twisting in pain from my words. Suddenly, his face morphed into an unrecognizable mask of rage. "Yeah, Sookie, I fucking moved away with _IT_! And I'm sorry to say, that even after a mistake of that magnitude, I was still stupid enough to think you gave a shit about me. _About_ _us_."

He'd never, not in all the years I'd known him, ever looked at me with such contempt. I was instantly sickened seeing it now. He stood up and spat out, "This was a mistake, and I won't bother you further." Without a second glance he turned, strode out the back gate, and off the porch.

I sat there in a stupor for a second. What the hell had just happened? Five minutes ago were kissing and hugging, and now he's mad, _like_ _really fucking_ _mad,_ and leaving. _Oh, shit_!

I jumped up and bolted out the back gate towards the parking lot. No way was he leaving this way! And in my humble opinion, this discussion was far from over! He'd nearly made it to the front of the bar by the time he seemed to realize I was yelling to him over the music seeping through the bar's walls.

"Eric Northman, don't you dare just walk away from me like that!"

He didn't pause, his stride never faltering as he yelled over his shoulder, "Why not?! It's what you've always done."

"Eric, that's not fair." I was scurrying to keep up with him and his cursedly long legs.

"Fuck being fair, Sookie. I was such a fool to believe anything between us would ever be more than a fucking battle! Everything's a goddamn battle with you! _FUCK THIS_!"

What the hell was he talking about? "Fuck this? _What this!?_ You're living with some bitch in another state and you come here, make me remember what I lost, and then run away! And you've got the balls to say 'fuck this?!'"

Those traitorous tears would be denied no longer. "Eric!" I screamed in desperation, tears falling from my eyes at an alarming rate. He couldn't leave me, again! _I'd never survive it!_

He whirled around so fast I didn't see it coming, grasping me hard by the arms before shoving up against the outer wall of Merlotte's. His face was contorted in rage and anguish as he lowered it to mine. "I'm not living anywhere, with anyone! And how dare you speak of what you've lost! You never invested anything in us! It's impossible to lose what you don't value. You pushed me away and ran from me at every turn! You treated me like you couldn't stand the thought of being near me! And you have the nerve to talk of loss?! _To me?_ After everything you put me through? _Are you fucking kidding me?!_"

I'd never seen Eric so out of control, not in any situation. _Ever!_ His grasp wasn't hurting me, and my safety certainly wasn't at risk with him, but seeing him completely unleash his emotions was unsettling. Sure, Eric was always so open, honest and caring with me, and he could be very passionate in both love making and arguing, but he was _always_ in control of himself. Laying himself emotional bare before me was definitely something new, and completely uncharted territory.

"I valued you! I've thought about you every day since you left! I can't tell you how many times I've wished I could go back and do things different." My tears falling faster as the words tumbled out of me. "You tried to be there after Gram died, but I couldn't let you in. I couldn't risk loss like that again!" I placed my hands on his hips as his grip on my arms loosened, desperate to prevent his departure.

He dropped his hands from me and looked like someone who'd just been electrocuted. He took a step back and just stared at me, wide eyed and open mouthed. He shook his head and started backing away from me, quickly.

_HE'S LEAVING?!_ I couldn't stand the thought of it, of him being out of my life! _He couldn't leave me again!_ "Eric, please." My voice shaking as I all but threw myself into him.

My arms flew around his waist, my head landing with a _thunk_ against his chest. "Eric…"

For a long moment he didn't move at all. He just stood there with his arms at his side while I'd wrapped myself around him like the fabric wrappings of a mummy. It was oddly reminiscent of hugging a mummy, he was so unresponsive. Finally, I dared raise my eyes in search of his. He looked straight ahead, though he didn't appear to be seeing anything, but he had the most tortured look marring his beautiful face.

I slowly lifted one hand from his back, resting it ever so softly to his face. His eyes closed at my touch, and I sighed quietly with the knowledge that I'd finally broken through his catatonic state. He opened his beautiful blue eyes and looked down at me finally, and the emotions blazing within them broke my heart.

"I'm so sorry for all the hurt I've caused you, Eric. I apologize that it took you moving so far away for me to learn I didn't want to be without you. I'm so sorry that I was too scared to love you the right way _before_ I lost you." I couldn't help but cry, my voice shaking with emotion.

His arms wrapped around me unexpectedly, and as he pulled me closer, an aching groan escaping him. "You never lost me, baby. Never! No matter how much I sometimes wished you had, you never did." His voice was rough with emotion as his arms held me like a vice. "I might have moved, but I left my heart here with you, lover."

The term "shell-shocked" suddenly made absolute sense in my world. I was utterly blown away by his declaration. No matter how I tried, however, I couldn't make heads-nor-tails of his words. How could _I_ still have him? He lived with someone else. I put my head on his chest, just hoping to hold him for a bit longer before I lost this vital piece of my heart again. No matter how much I wanted to lock him in my room and never let him go, he was simply no longer mine to keep. "But you're living with someone, how can I have your heart?"

"I'm not living with anyone. I haven't been for quite some time. I tried to make it work. God help me, I did. But it just wasn't there. How could it? She wasn't _you_." My heart did cartwheels at that unexpected revelation, while my stomach lurched with the billion possibilities that now lay before me.

"I stayed away because I couldn't stand to be _here_ and not be with _you_. The thought of seeing you with someone else was intolerable. _Fuck_, I've had nightmares about watching another man love you for years now! Seeing you happy with someone else, even in my dreams nearly killed me. Watching as you stood in white getting married, crying as I watched your belly filling out with a life _I_ didn't create. It was fucking torture!"

He leaned his torso away from me slightly and placed his fingers under my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. I was utterly lost and barely able to concentrate witnessing the myriad of emotions storming behind his baby-blues.

"Sookie, she was never a replacement model. She was a distraction, a diversion. She was nothing more than a means to an end. I know I shouldn't have used her that way, it wasn't right of me. But she was my ticket away from here and the constant reminders of you. _Of us_." He kissed my forehead gently, breathing against my face, "I could never replace you; there is no creature on earth that could take the place of you in my soul. I've been yours, _and only yours_, since the first time we kissed, Sookie Stackhouse."

I felt like I was drowning in the emotions washing over me. I couldn't process what he was telling me. He still fucking loved me?!

_Eric. Nortman. Fucking. Loves. Me!_

With a desperate sob wrenching from my chest, I crashed my lips to his.

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_**Thanks for the wonderful response to this little guy! I'm beyond grateful to all of you who've read, reviewed or added me/this to any lists. You have no idea how much you folks make my day!**_

_**Balti K is my beta, and I'm lucky for it!**_

_**Thanks for taking this journey with me! Love and hugs to all!**_

_**Jen**_


	4. Chapter 4: A Public Affair

_**This chapter is probably NSFW, just to let you know in advance. **_

_**Disclaimer – still don't own these guys, just the emotional uproar they're going through.**_

_**All mistakes from here on out are mine. Balti K is simply too busy right now with trying to relocate to a new city and couldn't continue being beta on this. That being said, she will still be my beta for "A Thousand Years" but it will be a little while before a new chapter is posted for that. I'm terribly sorry that there'll be a delay (a much longer one than any of us wanted) but chapters for that will slow down significantly for a bit until K is settled into her new life. I will get one up just as soon as I can, however, I promise!**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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One minute we were at each other's throats, the next we were practically dry-humping on the side of a roadhouse. The desperation of my attack had broken something primal loose within him, unleashing a passion I was scarcely prepared for. With a gasp and a low groan, he gave himself completely to the moment. Our kiss was urgent, passion driven and anything but sweet. We were devouring each other, consuming our pain of the long separation through our kiss.

Though his body melded with mine like a second skin, he still wasn't close enough. I writhed against him, wanting to feel him everywhere at once. My hands, not satisfied to simply hold him, roamed freely over his body. Every inch of my frame seeking contact with him, I burned and ached for his flesh in ways I'd never experienced. Between desperate kisses and stolen breaths we called for one another, our names sounding like prayers from the other's lips. Had the entire town been watching us now, we couldn't have stopped.

My sex pulsed for him, trembling and tense. I was dripping with desire; my thong ruined, the excess coating my thighs. I ran my hands down his chest at an agonizing pace before dragging them slowly down the front of his muscular thighs. My mouth swallowing his moans that rumbled across my lips.

"Oh dear God, Sookie," he groaned. "_You're killing me!_" he rasped between the kisses he trailed up and down my throat.

"Eric, I've missed you. It's been awful without you. I need this, I need _you_."

As I rubbed his thighs my fingers inched towards the steely hardness I felt pressed against me; we were so closely entwined, I could feel every twitch. Every time it jerked he made the most delicious sounds, leaving no doubt that his desire matched my own. A five alarm fire was blazing between my legs and not even the wetness drowning my thong was enough to extinguish the flames. _Onlookers be damned, I needed him now!_

His mouth sampled my skin as he alternated between kissing my lips and devouring my neck, making me weak in the knees. His massive hands, gripping my ass and massaging it fiercely, were the only things keeping me upright. The closer I came to where he wanted me most, the louder he moaned. Seemingly desperate for my touch, he pulled his lower half back from me slightly, a strangled "_Please_," escaping his lips.

A heady sense of power flooded through me knowing _I_ did this; _I_ made this God-like creature _beg_ for my touch. I ran my fingers over his bulge slowly using just enough force to grant his request, relishing in his lustful reaction. His lips, previously feasting on the sensitive spot just behind my right ear, stopped cold at my first touch. He shuddered at the sensation, a gasp hissing through his teeth like angry bees, before his mouth rushed back to mine with a vengeance.

The intensity of his response demolished my teasing mood. I palmed his erection fully through his clothes, rubbing and squeezing gently as I pulled his bottom lip between my teeth. Eric groaned low and sexy before removing one hand from my ass.

He pulled his lips from mine, immediately attacking my collar bone as his hand slid up my shirt, pushing my bra up as he went. Heat as hot as the sun kissed my skin when his palm engulfed my breast. I moaned into his mouth as I pressed harder on his cock. The noises he made spurring me on and driving me to consider things I never had before. We were rapidly becoming undone; completely lost in one another and the pent up passion of years lost. We weren't going to make it another five feet without consummating this reunion, let alone to a bed.

_I couldn't stand it any longer!_ My thong was soaked, my legs were wet and I'd never been so happy I'd worn a skirt as I was in that moment! Removing my hands from 'Mr. Happy', I slid them into his shirt and ran them over his chiseled stomach and chest muscles. No man I had ever seen had the body that Eric did. "Sex on legs" is how I normally described him (when I could bring myself to talk about him, that is). He was muscled in all the right places, but no bulk; hard sculpted, sexed up, perfection.

He felt like silken covered granite as I caressed his upper body, a feeling I was rapidly becoming re-addicted to. I ran my hands over his lower abdomen teasingly, when I encountered a pleasant surprise; the head of his hardness was peeping out just above the waist line of his pants, just begging to be played with. _And who was I to deny him?!_

At a snail's pace I skimmed it with a single finger, groaning internally at the moisture I felt. As my fingers brushed over the head for the first time, he growled at me. _Fucking growled at me!_ It was a deep, resonating sound that oozed sex in the most primal of ways. Between vivid memories of our rapturous sex life and that fucking growly noise, I was done for.

I palmed his weeping erection through his jeans again, applying enough pressure to make his hips thrust forward as I nibbled along his jaw towards his ear.

"I need you Eric," I breathed as I began unbuttoning his shirt, my own voice hardly recognizable it was so thick with yearning.

I kissed, nibbled, and licked every new piece of skin I exposed until I was forced to shove against him to gain more access; pushing him backwards slightly, I let out a slow, deep breath over the head that peeked out just above his waistband before placing an open mouthed kiss just below his navel.

His hands flew into my hair, a loud groan escaping him. "Oh dear God. I can't stand this. Baby, _please_!"

Dying to taste him, I languidly licked his tip as I lowered my hands to free him. As my tongue skimmed his swollen flesh, his whole body jerked and he yelped as if scalded. I dragged my flattened tongue over him again as my fingers reached the button, teasing him with freedom, causing an almost pitiful mewl to escape him.

"_Sookie…_"

"Mmm," I hummed as I started moving in circles on the tip with my tongue as I finally unhooked the button.

"_Please_, lover. Let me feel your lips wrapped around me."

Fresh rounds of wetness surged from me as I listened to him beg. Drunk with power, I locked eyes with him as I edged his zipper down slowly, licking his swollen head as if it were a snow cone on a hot July day.

His cock flew from its confines like a missile, its only target my awaiting lips. I grabbed the base firmly and licked him from tip to base and back again, twice, before fully engulfing him in my mouth.

"Fuck! Oh. Fuck, Sookie!" he yelled to the sky, fisting my hair roughly with both hands.

I slid his pants down over that _bitable_ ass, his dick never leaving my mouth. Stroking him with my tongue as he pistoned across my lips; I loved the feel of him, so thick and smooth, his musky smell making my mouth water. Even after all this time, I remembered his body and just how he wanted to be touched. I used my hand to stimulate what wouldn't fit in my mouth, twisting and pulling at the perfect moments as I consumed him.

"Ahh… Yeah! Fuck yeah!" his voice rough and strained with need.

A very small part of me pondered what we'd do if anyone came out this way. I couldn't imagine the embarrassment I'd feel if I was caught giving head on the side of my favorite bar…

I pacified my modesty with images of nights long ago spent with Eric and his gracious plenty, effectively silencing any misgivings I had. I'd dreamt about having him again so many times, I couldn't stop now. It was pointless to acknowledge the fact that public sex made me hornier than a sailor on shore leave, of course.

Eric seemed utterly unaffected by the fact that his manhood was on display for anyone who happened by. _Well, if he didn't care – why should I?_ I rubbed my thighs together where I squatted, desperately seeking friction; his dick gliding between my lips as his hips thrust forward, cries of pleasure heard above the music. Who was getting more turned on by this blow job was anyone's guess seeing as I was about to spontaneously combust.

"Shit!" he exclaimed as he fell forward, his hands landing flat against the building. "Oh God, Sookie!" his voice growly and deep, making my ovaries clench.

I was massaging his balls, pulling on the base of his cock in a twisting motion and sucking on him for all I was worth when I felt him begin to spasm and swell.

"Oh. Ohhh… Sookie, you've gotta stop or you'll… _oh, oh God yes… _finish me" he was panting and moaning.

As much as I wanted to keep sucking him off, I needed to feel him inside me, so I reluctantly allowed him to pull to my feet. He kissed me with a fierce passion before dropping to his knees and lifting my skirt. His tongue tortured me, teasing me with an orgasm of epic proportions; my back was pressed almost painfully against the wall, my hands in his hair as I pulled him towards my pussy, desperate in my need for him and him alone.

He flicked my clit with his tongue, occasionally circling it just as I did the tip of his cock. No one ate pussy better than Eric! Oh, I'd had a couple try, but there was nothing like oral sex with this man! His hands moved under my shirt allowing him to pinch and tug my nipples as he thrust his tongue inside me. I yelped loudly at the sensation. One of his huge, strong hands left my breast and traveled to my waiting pussy. He slid a finger inside me causing me to cry out again with pleasure; his tongue expertly massaged my clit as he pumped my wetness.

"Eric! Oh my GOD!" I whimpered.

I was so close! The coil in my belly tightened almost painfully, every inch of my body tingling as I prepared to fall over the edge into pure bliss.

"Oh, please… please, don't stop! Make me come for you, Eric!"

His groan vibrated through me, sending me soaring over the edge screaming his name. My muscles tightened around his fingers, shaking so hard he hurried to support me by my ass while I rode out the waves.

He rose to his feet, a triumphant grin on his face. His full lips glistened with my juices, tempting me to taste them. Bringing my face to his, I savored his groans as I licked my flavor from his lips; the taste of us mingled together a shocking aphrodisiac. He hoisted me up, rock hard and ready as he placed himself at my entrance, using the building to help support me.

"So fucking hot! I can't wait to bury myself deep inside your tight, wet pussy," he groaned. "_Please_ tell me you're okay with this."

I was only capable of was a mewling nod to convey my consent; thankfully he understood. Dropping a hand between us as he held me, Eric began rubbing the head of his hard on up and down my folds. We both gasped at the sensation. I was still trembling from my orgasm when he eased into me, my legs automatically wrapping around his waist.

"Sookie," he said softly. "I've missed you so much, my beautiful girl." The look of love and longing on his face was unmistakable.

My eyes pricked with tears as I was overcome with emotion. Not daring to speak, I brought my mouth to his and kissed him with everything I had. There was no one else in my head or heart, only Eric. Always. I had no idea why the fates were granting me another shot with him, but I wouldn't waste it this time. _This time I'd hold onto him for dear life! _ I couldn't imagine losing him again.

As we kissed he pushed himself deeper; slowly, inch by amazing inch, he buried himself within me. I could hardly breathe as we locked eyes, connecting to one another completely. The emotion in his icy blues was more than I could bear.

"Sookie, my sweet Sookie," he whispered as his lips brushed mine.

The pace of his kiss matching the trusting of his hips; he moved languidly, each stroke coaxing me towards another explosion. His body angled perfectly to hit that spectacular spot within me with every stroke.

"Oh god, Eric! Faster," I begged shamelessly. "_Please_!"

Thankfully he listened, moving with more speed and force. The feelings coursing through my body were staggering! Each expert thrust edging me closer and closer to my release. My hands wrapped around the back of his neck, holding him tightly as I began to peak.

"Eric, I'm so close!"

I could feel him swelling inside me getting inconceivably harder and thicker, my name falling from his lips like a prayer with almost every stroke. Breathless, overcome with joy and need, my body leapt off the cliff. Thank god the music inside was loud enough to camouflage my screams.

My pussy griped him tightly as I came, initiated his explosion within me. He came with a roar, shaking violently at the force. Three intense orgasms in one session made my body feel like rubber, leaving me a quivering mess; impressively, he managed to hold me as we rode out the shockwaves.

Eric set me down gently before bringing his mouth back to mine. I was sweep away with emotions staring at him; most days I found it hard to breathe I missed him so much! I didn't consider myself one of those needy girls who couldn't find self worth without a man, it's just that part of my soul was missing when I wasn't with him.

"Eric, I love…"

_Oh my god!? I almost told him I love him!_ And while I did, I wasn't willing to part with that information just yet. E_specially after sex on the side of a roadhouse!_

"This. I love this," my hand flailing between us. "Just… being with you." Not a slick recovery granted, but hey, I tried.

The grin on his face told me that I'd fooled no one.

Gently stroking my face he said nothing for a long moment, he simply gazed into my eyes. Eric cradled my face between his strong hands and my breath caught at the intensity of his expression.

"I love _this_ too Sookie. Always have, always will."

_Well, I certainly didn't expect any of this when I left my house tonight… Holy shit!_

"Can we go back inside for a bit?"

"Sure…" I felt a stab of panic at his words; I wasn't ready for this night to end.

Eric seemed to sense the sudden change in my mood. "Come, let's go have a drink and hang out with our friends for a bit. Then, if you don't mind, we'll leave later, _together_. There's still much to discuss."

Eric reached for my hand, our fingers intertwining instantly as we made our way back inside Merlotte's. Before we entered the front door he raised our interlocked hands to his mouth, gently kissing the back of my hand.

"Mine," he whispered. Perhaps I wasn't meant to hear it, but my heart sung at his declaration nonetheless as we entered the door.

Together, once again.

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_**** Safe sex is terribly important in real-life, for a multitude of reasons. I absolutely endorse, encourage, mandate (and any other term that means freaking use condoms, lol) in real-life. But, this is fantasy land and passion took over for brains without costing them their lives. **_

_**Thanks for reading and taking this journey with me! Love and hugs to all! **_

_**Jen**_


	5. Chapter 5: It's Never Dull Around Here

_**Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, favorited or alerted this so far (this time, last time, both…) You guys make my day.**_

_**Disclaimer – don't own them… wish I did. **_

_**Enjoy…**_

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We went back into the bar and found Tara and my dip-ass brother sitting in a booth near the dance floor. Our hands still entangled, Eric and I arrived at their table. Jason was holding Tara tightly to him and whatever he was whispering had her laughing hysterically.

"Is this a private party or can anyone join?" Eric grinned like a madman when our arrival caused them to jump and squeal in surprise.

"Holy hell, man! You tryin' to give us a heart attack or somthin'?" Jase snorted at him. "Yeah, there's plenty of room. Sit down and tell me how it is you've been back less than a day, and you're already all over my baby sister."

God help me, but I could just kick the ever lovin' shit outta him sometimes! "Big brother" my ass! Jason was barely a functional toddler in both intelligence _and_ behavior and yet there he sat acting like my chaperone, pissing me off royally once again.

I gave my mentally handicapped sibling a death glare as I hissed, "Jase, considering you're still awaiting your headfromrectumectomy procedure and haven't fixed your OWN love life yet, you've hardly earned the right to give Eric here the _'big brother'_ inquisition!"

He shrank back a little at the scowl on my face; I really wanted to wring his neck sometimes, and apparently it showed.

"Until either happens, I suggest you worry about what the hell you're doing with my best friend here," nodding my head towards Tara in indication before continuing, "You know she's too good for you, always has been, and you best realize _quick_ you'll never find a better girl for you. _Before_ she goes looking for something better."

Eric chortled at the tongue lashing I gave my bobo-headed brother. Jason, trying to be all smug, rolled his eyes at me like _I_ was the mentally challenged one in the family.

"_Somethin' better_, HA! She ain't gonna leave me Sookie. She ain't never had it so good!"

Tara sat there momentarily, just staring at him like he'd grown three heads and was spewing cream cheese from his eyes. I busted up laughing, Lord forgive me, I just couldn't resist!

"Oh yeah, Jase, that's obviously what she's thinking right now!" I giggled.

Eric was shaking violently next to me with his silent laughter. I had to give it to him, he really was trying not to laugh _too_ hard… it just wasn't working. My brother really was a dumbass of epic proportions much of the time.

Tara looked amazed, and slightly disgusted, that she actually loved someone that so mentally deficient. "Oh Jason… Baby, believe me, _you_ are the one who's never had it so good. I'm the one that makes your body feel _so good_ that you're bawling like a baby, all curled up in the fetal position and damn near suckin' your thumb, every time I sex you up."

She slid her hand down his chest slowly before grabbing herself a handful of his junk, or "The Stackinator," as he called it. Really, I'd heard of guys naming their predominant brains, but seriously, how dense was one person supposed to be and still maintain a pulse? Apparently my brother was the new benchmark in dumbshit-tomfoolery. Yay me for sharing _that_ gene pool.

I couldn't say I was truly surprised she'd get herself a handful of his manhood in public, this was _Tara_ after all, but my brother was shocked as shit. He damn near choked on his beer, sending unwelcomed droplets flying toward Eric and me.

Tara held onto her prize while looking Jason squarely in the eyes. "Jason, Baby, let's be clear. I'm with you because I've been _nuts _(punctuated with a squeeze to said nuts, if his wince was any indication) about you since right about when I learned to walk. But, but make no mistake, boy… I own you (another wince from Jase), not the other way around."

With that declaration, she released his junk, giving his a grin that was part Cheshire cat, part Heath Ledger as The Joker; it was alarming, to say the least, and I was mighty glad I wasn't on the receiving end. Winking at me, she slid out of the booth and away she went. Jason looked as if he'd been flash-frozen; his mouth is agape, his eyes distant – he'd completely checked out mentally. Wonder if he forgot to feed the rodents running the wheel up there, again?

Eric and I were laughing our asses off. That was easily one of the best things I'd seen in a long while. Maybe ever. We looked over towards the bar looking for Tara. _Oh shit!_ She really wasn't kidding! Tara was rubbing her hands up and down the arms of an extremely good looking man, laughing and smiling. She was flirting her ass off over there, with my brother a few tables away! This was _not_ going to end well. Jason came out of his stupor and followed our gaze.

His face twisted first in anger, and then believe it or not, he actually looked hurt. Broken even. "Well that's what you get; ignore someone long enough and they get to steppin'," as Tara would say. I sure found that out the hard way. Guess my brother finally got schooled. He hopped up from the booth as if struck with a cattle prod, making a bee-line for Tara.

"Oh shit!" Eric and I said in unison as we leapt to our feet to hurry after my mightily pissed off brother.

"Why hey there, Jason," Tara said coyly as she continued rubbing the arm of the beautiful new man. "This here is Eggs. Eggs, this is Jason. Isn't he lovely, Jason? What a fine specimen of hot sex on legs. I tell you, Jase, I could practically eat him up!"

Yup, it was safe to say she'd had enough of my brother's indecision and inability to commit. _Go Tara! Yay team! Woot, Woot! _My internal cheering section was going _wild_.

"Tara, what do you think you're doing? You're my woman! You got no right to flirt with this jack-off!"

My brother was staring daggers at this new man. After all the times he'd served Tara a heaping slice of other women, it seemed he had no appetite for _his_ signature dish. I knew my best friend well enough to know she was just trying to prove a point, but was in no hurry to enlighten Jason. He needed to learn a lesson, painful or not.

Thankfully Eggs, the nice looking man with the _very_ weird name, had class enough to let my brother's comments go. He simply gave my brother a real sly smile as he wrapped his arms around Tara's waist, yanking her flush against him.

My brother was seething mad, and I found myself actually looking for steam around his head. Tara looked like she might just shit herself, she was so shocked. She quickly recovered, looking adoringly at Eggs but addressing my brother.

"It's your choice, baby boy. Shit, or get off the pot. Either you want me, _only_ me, or you don't," her eyes never leaving Eggs. "The time for games is over, Jason Stackhouse. I've loved you, and put up with you, by _choice_. NOT because I can't get someone else."

"Tara…" Jason looked sick.

"Obviously, should I choose to, I can get someone new, no problem."

Tara finally turned to look at Jase directly. "So it's your call, but chose now, Jason. I'm sick of waiting for you to decide what the hell you want. Going once, going twice…"

"Sugar, please don't do this." My brother's voice was breaking with the first _real_ emotion he'd ever shown publicly. "Tara, you know you're my best girl."

Her face softened slightly before leaving Eggs' embrace, coming to stand before my brother. She raised a hand to stroke his cheek. "Yeah, I know I'm your _best_ girl. What I want is to be your _**only**_ girl."

Jason was spellbound for a moment, looking like a blind man who'd just been given the gift of sight. In a motion so quick it was nearly instantaneous, he threw his arms around her and kissed her with a passion I never knew he was capable of. Tonight really _was_ full of surprises.

Eric leaned down, whispering in my ear, "You think we should tell them the best spot to work through their issues? We seem to have found the perfect way to resolve ours."

I jolted with surprise while blushing tomato red. I couldn't help but be somewhat sad at his light hearted comment. I wasn't sure we'd worked through much, to be honest. We'd ravished each other thoroughly, and _very_ publicly. I looked up at Eric and was shocked to see the peace and joy that was plain on his beautiful face. Maybe I didn't have to dwell on what wasn't resolved right now. Maybe, _just maybe_, I could just let myself be happy for the first time in over five years.

Tara and Jason finally untangled themselves from their kiss. "Please don't leave me, Tara! I love you, sugar."

"I know you love me, Jason. I've always known it. My question is: do you love me enough to stop your extracurricular activities now?"

"If you'll stay, I promise. It all stops here. You're more than enough, I'm sorry I've been such a huge ass."

He gave her his best smile, the one he called "The Stackhouse smirk." It was a stupid name, granted, but it worked. No kidding, that boy had seen more panties drop in his lifetime than a gynecologist! My brother had a Ph.D. in getting laid, and had slept with more women than I dared guess. Seriously, the number would probably make me join a convent for guilt by proxy. _Blech_.

She turned back to Eggs, smiling brightly. "Thanks, Eggs, I'll be sure to tell Lafayette how good you did tonight, playing a straight man!"

Now Jase looked like he had to make poo-poo. _Maybe I should've packed Depends in the purse instead of lip gloss?_ She gave him her sweetest smile and said, "Well, baby, something had to make you see the light." Eggs gave her a lopsided grin and a slight nod before turning back toward the bar.

Tara turned to me smiling conspiratorially, "See ya, Sook. We're out of here!" She grabbed my brother by the hand, practically going caveman on his ass, as she dragged him from the bar. My brother looked both terrified and oddly aroused at her sudden dominance. I did NOT want to think about any of that shit! Blech_, again!_

Eric took my hand in his again, our fingers lacing together automatically. Looking up at him, I couldn't help the grin that threatened to split my face. I might not know what was coming of us, but I'd never been happier to be clueless. I'd happily become the village idiot if it meant he'd stay. I wanted so badly to attack him again, right there next to the bar, I had to avert my eyes from his luscious body in order to maintain some propriety. The things that man did to my libido. _Freaking criminal, it was_!

A slow, sweet melody began playing causing the dance floor to thin a bit. I watched those that stayed wrap themselves together sinuously, bodies entangled sinfully as they slowly swayed. The song lyrics spoke of a couple who couldn't take their eyes off one another. _Gee, no eerie similarities there. _

Eric gave my hand a gentle squeeze, causing me to look back to his gorgeous blues. "Care to dance with me? It's a perfect song." The look of lust and longing on his face made my lady bits want to stand up and sing!

"I'd love to."

He raised our tangled hands to his soft lips, kissing the back of mine gently. To say he was sexy, in all that he did, was the understatement of the century! He pulled me out to the dance floor and brought our still locked hands up to his chest as he slid his free arm around my waist, pulling me close. Eric kissed my forehead sweetly as we began to sway. I rested my head on his chest, breathing in the sweet scent of him. He always smelled wonderful, a divine mixture of soap and something uniquely _Eric_.

He kissed the top of my head before resting his chin atop it. The feelings pinging between us were electric, words unnecessary. I'd never _needed_ anyone to complete me, but I'd never _wanted_ anyone more than him. And while he wasn't essential to make up for something I lacked, I had to admit that tonight was the first time I'd felt like _me_ since we parted. I was whole, unbroken…weightless. Parts of me that I hadn't known were missing seemed to be present once again. How did I ever let him go?

As we danced I couldn't stop my mind from drifting back to our last meeting…

"_I've done everything I can to make this work, but you're hell bent on pushing me away, aren't you?!" He bellowed as we stood in the living room of my once happy home. The house was dreary - haunted now with the loss of my Gran._

"_What do you want from me?! Everything is so fucked up I can't even think, and you want me to coddle you? Worry about your feelings?" I shrieked at him, tears running down my face. "Selfish much, Eric? Let's call Heaven, and tell Gran she should've waited to die until you could handle my attention being elsewhere! Would that work for you?" I knew the minute I said it that I shouldn't have. What a rotten thing to say to the person you love._

"_I know you're hurting, but there's no reason to be so hateful to me, Sookie. I've done nothing but try to be here for you, in every way I can. Please don't do this to us." His eyes burned with love, heartache, and betrayal._

"_You've done everything but what I want! I want to be left the fuck alone! Just go away and let me be in peace!" _

_What was the point in loving anyone when they just ended up disappearing? Why put yourself out there when you just ended up alone and heartbroken anyway?!_

"_As you wish." He bent to kiss the top of my head before turning away. He didn't speak another word, simply picked up his coat and walked out the front door. _

_In the following weeks he refused to accept my calls or respond to my texts. I knew I was wrong to say the things I did and push him away. I just couldn't stop myself at the time. I couldn't deal with loving anyone anymore. I had never known a day in life when Gran wasn't a part of my world. She was all the family I had. _

_Sure, I had Jason, but that was like saying you had a hemorrhoid. It was there alright, but what fucking good did it do you? Without our folks to raise us, Gran took us in and made a life for us. She was my friend, my teacher, my conscience – my everything. The only thing she __**wasn't**__ was the man I loved. And I managed to make him dead to me as well because of my fear._

_About a month later I had heard he was shacking up with her, that two bit, rotten bitch. I never did like her. She was trash, and so far beneath him. Sophie Anne Leclerq was the town joke; she'd slept with half the patrons at Merlotte's. "Red" was EVERYONE'S friend. I couldn't believe he'd want anything to do with her! _

_Two months later he headed up north with her. Somewhere in Upstate New York from what I heard. I wanted to scream when I found out. How the hell was I supposed to fix things if he was living with someone else? And so far away? It was impossible – I'd lost him for good. _

I didn't realize that they had split up shortly after their move, nor did I know that he'd stayed away so long in order to avoid _me_. The old saying about only hurting those we loved was true. I loved him beyond words and I'd broken his heart, and in the process I'd shattered my own as well.

I was lost in thought hugging Eric tightly as we danced, so involved in my remembrance I had failed to notice two things. First, the song had stopped but we were still moving. It was Eric's strong arms squeezing me tightly that ceased our movement, saving me from certain embarrassment.

And second, I was crying. _Pft, so much for not being embarrassed_… I didn't even realize I was leaking until Eric began gently wiping the tears away with the pads of his thumbs. Our eyes locked as his face lowered slowly, his warm lips brushing against mine gently. The moment was so tender it broke my heart just a little, a strangled sob bursting from my lips.

"My sweet, beautiful Sookie," he cooed. "Please don't cry," he whispered as he kissed me chastely. "Let's get out of here, baby." He looked at me so sweetly, my heart threatened to burst.

"Will you come back to my house, Eric? There's no pressure to stay overnight or anything. I mean, I don't want you to feel like you have to, or that things will change if you don't…" I babbled like a moron.

"Of course, let's go." He kissed my forehead before releasing me. Grabbing my hand, we headed towards the door.

This had been one hell of night so far. I couldn't help but wonder would happen next?!

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_**Thanks for reading! Love and hugs to all!**_

_**Jen**_


	6. Chapter 6: Driving Miss Sookie

_**Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, favorited or alerted this so far (this time, last time, both…) You guys make my day.**_

_**Disclaimer – don't own them… wish I did. **_

_**Enjoy…**_

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**SPOV**

The ride back to my house was quiet, though comfortable, both of us seemingly lost in thought. Eric rested his hand on my leg, rubbing lightly with his thumb. I watched the objects flying by in the night as he drove; trees, houses – everything whizzed by in a blur thanks to Eric's love of driving fast.

It seemed each object zooming past symbolized a mistake I'd made in our relationship. Every argument, every time I pushed him away, all the times I let my insecurities consume me, were replayed in my mind like some ridiculous movie montage. A thousand tiny missteps I'd made that led me to the biggest mistake of my life.

It was the death of my Gran that had finally broken the camel's back, providing the momentum needed to bulldoze my life into despair. I'd like to say I wasn't insecure about myself or my life before she died, but I'd be lying. I was frightfully uncomfortable in my own skin and no amount of praise from others seemed to help. I worried that my curves were too curvy, my boobs were too big, and my height was too little. I feared I wasn't smart enough, or pretty enough, and that I wasn't well-liked enough. But most of all I worried I wasn't worthy of Eric.

I'd spent a lot of time back then wondering what I'd done to deserve his love. Physically, Eric was a force of nature; six feet, five inches of edible man with blonde hair and the most amazing blue eyes. If a perfect sapphire jewel and a clear summer sky got together and made a baby, Eric's eyes would be the result. Their beauty was almost beyond words. Add to that the strong jaw line and the slightly cleft chin he sported and you had a modern day, living Adonis.

As physically gorgeous as Eric was, it was his personality that truly made me feel unworthy of his affection. He was sweet, funny, caring and always so attentive. He was respectful of my Gran and friendly toward my brother and friends. Eric made a real effort to be part of my life, not the center of it. He wasn't controlling or condescending, he wasn't jealous or manipulative. He loved, valued, and trusted me with everything he had. And I was too insecure in myself to appreciate him. I was petrified to let him in completely at the time, certain that he would eventually lose interest, so I allowed fear to dominate our relationship.

I was terrified of what _I'd_ be without Eric, certain I'd be nothing without him. So much of my self worth was wrapped up in my relationship with him that I no longer knew how to be _me_ unless I was _Eric's_. So when Gran died, I lost it. Between the grief of losing her and the fear of him eventually leaving me, I pushed him away with everything I had. I convinced myself that as long as he left on _my_ terms it would be easier than when he eventually left me without warning.

_I was so stupid._

I had been a coward to run from my feelings that way. I loved him yesterday, today, tomorrow… always. Sitting in there with him now I knew for certain, I would never love anyone like I loved Eric Northman.

I'd spent the last five years miserable just waiting for love to find me again, hoping that something could fill the void that Eric had left in my heart. It didn't take long before I finally learned the truth - no one ever would. Being with him again now, I felt safer than I had in the past five years. For the first time since I threw him out of my life, I was home. I had no intention of screwing things up again, and God help anyone that got in my way of keeping him.

He told me I'd never lost him. Was that really possible? Could he really still love me, even after how rotten I was to him? Sweet baby Jesus, I could only hope he could.

I found it hard to believe he stayed away for so long just to avoid me; though when I really thought about it, I'd probably do the same if in his shoes. I sure as hell wouldn't want to see him with someone else, so I could see how he felt that way about me. It was my heart's desire that he could truly forgive me, that we could build a future together.

_A future. With Eric._

I had to be dreaming, but prayed I'd never wake up. I couldn't help but smile as I looked at his hand still resting on my leg. He was caressing my bare skin with his thumb, a dreamy smile on his lips as he watched the road.

My god, he was so beautiful.

And for right now anyway, he was all mine. For the first time in years, I let the peaceful nature of this moment wash over me.

**EPOV…**

I couldn't believe my luck! I was practically giddy, I was so pleased with how tonight was going.

I'd come back to Bon Temps with nothing but a U-haul and a plan. The van with my crap was at my parents' house, and my plan (or rather the object of it), was sitting next to me. My plan had originally been to find Sookie, as soon as possible. No matter where she was or who she was with. I'd wasted enough time unhappy without her. I had no intention of wasting a moment more.

Sometimes it was simply amazing how fate intervened to change your plans.

When I asked Jason to meet me tonight, I _planned_ to ask him about his sister. I _planned_ to find out who she was with, where she was living now, or if she ever spoke of me. Fate decided to nearly drop her into my lap within hours of being back in town. Fate is wonderful, wonderful gal.

I still spoke to Jase regularly, but I never asked about Sook. For a long time I didn't want to know anything about her or her life, even after Sophie and I split. And once I did want to know, I couldn't bring myself to ask. Not over the phone. Thank God for fate's intervention because now I didn't have to ask Jason anything. Now I had my girl sitting next to me, right where she belonged.

Wow, tonight was definitely full of surprises! First seeing Sookie so unexpectedly, then the explosive sex against the side of the bar… fucking surreal. And so. Fucking. Hot! Fate was definitely an amazing lady. My luck was definitely changing, and for once it's for the better.

Sex with my Sookie had always been remarkable. But holy sheep shit, tonight's sex was downright earth shattering! Just thinking about how hot that'd been was making me hard again. I came so hard, for a minute there I thought I'd pass out. I'd never had anything like that happen before, and I'd had an abundance of sex. Hell, my limbs were so rubbery after coming it's a miracle I didn't drop her.

And Jesus, Jason and Tara were hysterical earlier! Those two have been on and off for as long as I can remember. They obviously love each other, but couldn't seem to get it right. I truly felt bad for Tara in this situation. Being a guy, perhaps I should have been siding with him, but Tara truly loved him and she deserved better. Jason had always loved her as well, but was too busy having his cake (and everyone else's piece) to grow up. Hopefully after the shit with that Eggs dude, Jase would pull his head outta his ass and start treating her right.

The silence as we drove wasn't forced or unnatural, which was a relief. Most women feel the need to fill every moment with chatter, but not my Sook. I couldn't remember the last time I was this happy. I was smiling like a loon but I didn't care an ounce. I was finally with my Sookie again. _God, I just couldn't believe it!_ Even as I sat there touching her, it hardly seemed real. Her skin felt like the softest satin under my touch and I was suddenly blown away by how much I'd missed her. No woman could ever possess me the way she did.

Thank the Gods for winning her back! I had no intentions of ever letter her go again, ever! She was the whole reason for quitting my job, packing up and moving home. I'd missed her every second since the moment I walked out her front door five years ago. I was tired of living without her and decided it was time to come home and get my life back. And nothing was going to keep me from her now.

I was far too stubborn after our fight, I could see that now. But at the time I just couldn't help it. I was so hurt that she would throw everything away over grief. Gran was wonderful, of course, and she was the only adult Sookie could really count on – it wasn't like I didn't understand this. I just couldn't get past how hurtful she was to me. I knew it was childish to some degree, but I didn't want to hear her apologies. No matter how many times she tried, I wasn't interested. Her words, and the hateful way in which she said them that day, broke me. I'd never felt pain like that before. Or felt so betrayed! I loved Sookie Stackhouse with everything I had in me back then, and when she threw me aside I couldn't get away from Bon Temps, and Sookie, fast enough.

Sophie Anne Leclercq was a skank and a horrendous pain in the ass, but she was my way out. She was nothing more than a warm and willing body when my Sookie wasn't. Plus, she was glad to have me around when Sookie wasn't. And her best quality in my opinion? She was moving away. Upstate New York might as well have been Mars it was so far away from my hometown.

I could hardly stand to be around Sophie when I wasn't actually fucking her. Hell, the only reason I could stand fucking her _at all_ was that in my mind's eye it was always Sookie I was buried balls deep in. I tried to like Sophie more once we moved, knowing it was wrong to use her, but I never could. I always knew I'd never love her, but I was too lonely to be on my own for a while there and too selfish to think of Sophie's feelings.

It was less than a year after we moved when she came home one day to find me sound asleep, still holding a picture of Sookie and I and that was the last straw. She'd packed her bags, woke me up by throwing a pail of water on my head, and left in a snit. She'd sent movers for the rest of her things a few days later and I really hadn't heard from her again. I saw her around town here and there, but we didn't speak to each other at all. Which as rotten as it sounds was fine with me.

As we pulled into Sookie's driveway, I was overcome with memories. Thankfully the memories consisted of more than our breakup. I was flooded with memories of smiles, laughter and love. God, we used to have so much fun here! Well, before the breakup Sook and I had fun _everywhere_. No one made me laugh as hard as my crazy girl.

The house looked pretty much the same, just a little more like Sookie than Gran. I was amazed that it still felt like home to me even though I'd never lived in it. I pulled up around back and parked near the back porch. The rightness of the moment washed over me like a warm summer breeze. Sookie patted my hand and looked at me with the sweetest smile I'd ever seen; apparently she felt it too.

God, I'd missed her so much! Her beauty, along with the love and happiness shining in her eyes, took my breath away. I got out in a flash and rushed to her side of the car. I opened the car door quickly, taking her hand to assist her out of the car, and kicked the car door shut. I pulled her in close and wrapped my arms around her waist, nuzzling into the crook of her neck and sighing deeply.

I'd missed that feeling. The utter and complete sense of _home_ I felt when Sookie was in my arms. I kissed her neck gently, brining my lips to her ear, "It feels so right to hold you again, Lover."

Not giving her a chance to respond, I brought my lips to hers and kissed her with all the love I felt for her. The kiss seemed to last forever, our passion building as little noises escaped us both. It was almost painful how erect this woman made me, but it was worth every second as long as she was mine again.

I was powerless to stop the _very_ unmanly whine of protest that escaped my lips as she pulled away. She put her head on my chest as if to steady herself, both of us panting with desire as our hands continued to roam over one another's bodies.

She looked up at me with a wicked smirk, her voice low and sexy, "So, what's next? Talk, shower, or ravage each other?"

_Fuck me._

_Decisions, decisions…_

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_**Thanks for reading! Love and hugs to all!**_

_**Jen**_


	7. Chapter 7: Decisions, Decisions

_**Disclaimer – don't own them… wish I did. **_

_**Enjoy…**_

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**EPOV:**

I pressed my hardness against her hip a little more firmly as I rubbed my nose along her cheek. "Hmm… decisions, decisions. I think we _need_ to talk, but as you can feel, I _want_ to choose either a shower or the chance to ravage you properly."

I pulled back from her silken skin slightly to catch her eye, "How 'bout both?" I whispered as I gave her "the look," the one she swore was her personalized panty-dropomatic.

I nibbled along her jaw gently, pulling her into me so tightly that I was a little worried I'd squish her. I couldn't seem to get her close enough, fast enough. I took the soft moans and sighs escaping her as proof that she and I were on the same wavelength. If only there were fewer clothes in the way…

The ache for her naked escalated tenfold when she grabbed me by the back of the neck and pulled my mouth to hers. Her lips were petal soft and so very warm; they felt like heaven as they moved with mine. When she ran her tongue lightly across my bottom lip seeking entrance my cock jumped and I found myself wondering if I'd ever get enough of this woman.

So many parts of me wanted to do the mature thing and show her that I was taking 'us' seriously. I wanted to be able to break our embrace and tell her we needed to sit and figure things out before having another few rounds of mind-blowing sex. But I am only human, and a human male at that. So, as our tongues moved against each other, the only thing that truly mattered in this world was to rid myself of the throbbing in my needy dick.

_Maturity, meet aching cock. You've been overruled and mini me now has the floor…_

**SPOV:**

I couldn't wait to feel more of Eric against me. My most intimate parts were quivering, desperate in their need of his caress. I really and truly wanted to do the adult thing here and sit and work out where this was headed. What tonight meant to each of us? So I made an executive decision. We would talk, we'd work all this out.

_Then I'd fucking jump him. _

As I looked at him though, I had to keep reminding myself of my brilliant plan. _Talk first Sook, then shower and devour._ Over and over I repeated my mantra in my head, placating myself with the knowledge that once the talking was done, we'd be free to ravish each other until neither of us could walk right.

God help me that really was my plan.

What happened to derail my plan was that damnable look. There was something about his raised eyebrow and simultaneous smirk that always made my panties drop of their own accord. It was like magic. Poof! And the panties disappeared.

Within an instant, my blood seemed to boil. I grabbed Eric by the back of the neck and pulled his mouth to mine. His lips were sending shock waves directly to my lady business, so silky soft and fiercely determined as they moved against mine. I never failed to be astounded at his kissing prowess. Simply put, Eric was spectacular!

I'd been fooling myself. There was no way we were going to talk before doing the wild thing again (but give a girl some credit – he's a God and I haven't been laid properly in five years. This bitch needs some hot monkey lovin'!)

When my tongue brushed softly across his bottom lip his erection leapt at me, it began knocking on my hip like it was asking for permission to enter. The more our tongues moved together the more persistent the knocking became.

Who was I to deny him and his gracious plenty? Especially when my girlie bits were screaming for an immediate audience with the Great One (and what a great one it is!).

I broke away from our kiss, earning an adorable groan from him. I grabbed his hand and began pulling him toward the house. As we walked up the porch steps, Eric released my hand (apparently he needed both hands to grope my ass now). I let out a squeal of surprise as he slid his hands under my skirt and into my underwear. He was gently squeezing both cheeks as I fumbled with the lock.

"Distracting me is not going to get us inside any quicker, you know?" I chided him.

"No… but it might get _me_ inside quicker." He rasped against my neck as he nipped at my skin. My body shivered at the sensation, promptly earning me a deep and _oh so sexy_ growl from Eric.

I finally got the damn door opened (which incidentally, NEVER gave me a hard time) and entered the foyer. Eric kicked the door closed with his heel once we were far enough inside, his hands never leaving my ass. I was aching to feel him inside me. My pussy was practically dripping and was throbbing rhythmically with need.

I slid my hands down his arms pulling on them slightly to get him to release his death grip on my butt. I guided his hands up the sides of my thighs and over my hips. As I steered his attention up my body towards my breasts, I began backing into him. Just as his hands cupped my breast, I pushed my ass against hard cock. Thank God for high heels, or his dick would have been even with my back instead of the top of my ass!

He moaned loudly and bit my neck when I ground my ass into him. He was rocking his hips as he palmed my breasts, creating friction for his erection (and enjoying himself greatly if his breathy moans were any indication). I removed my hands from his, trusting in his abilities to feel me up all on his own, and began rubbing my hands up and down his thighs as I ground against him. He was kissing and nibbling along my neck and collar bone as he massaged my breasts. When he pinched both nipples simultaneously, I moaned like wanton whore and nearly came undone.

I thrust my backside into him once more earning another delicious growl, and then took off at a sprint for the bathroom. As I reached the safety of the doorway I glanced back at him. I couldn't stifle the giggle at the look on his face.

He was standing there with his hands still out in front of him, his boner raging, and the most shocked look on his face.

_I guess it is true. Hard-ons erase higher brain functions. Who knew?_

When he realized where I'd gone to and that I was no longer rubbing up against him like a cat in heat, a look of pure evil came over him. I knew I was in trouble, and I couldn't wait for my punishment to be served!

God, how I loved this man…

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**Thanks to all those that added me to favorites and alerts! You are the most wonderful folks, ever!**

**Love and hugs to all!**


	8. Chapter 8: An Unexpected Turn of Events

_**I'm a bad, bad Jenny… It was pointed out to me today that the last chapter was entirely too short. I'm sorry. Truly I am. The chapters are pre-written and I can't do much about the length and where they end without having to re-write the whole story (which I don't want to do). I'm just trying to clean this up before I finish it so that it's (at bare minimum) all the same tense. **_

_**Because I'm a bad girl and the last chapter was a tease, here's a bonus one today. Though I will warn you that this one ends with a tease as well. I'll get the next chapter up in the next day or two.**_

_**Disclaimer – don't own them… wish I did. Unbetaed, so the mistakes I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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EPOV:

She had to be crazy! Us fucking on the side of that bar had damaged her brain. There was no other explanation for her actions!

She'd lost her fucking mind!

One minute she was grinding that perfect ass of hers against my cock, making me moan and groan to an embarrassing degree. The next her ass was conspicuously absent from my Johnson, and she was grinning at me from the bathroom door like a lunatic.

Well, if it was games my Sookie wanted, it was games she'd get. I'd get even with her for this.

Oh boy would I get even!

And then I'd get even some more.

And if that still wasn't enough, I'd tease and torture her until she barely knew her own name.

_She'd fucking know mine though. _

I planned for her to scream it from the rafters. _All. Night. Long._

Her eyes became as wide as dinner plates. Apparently my musings of torturing her were apparent on my face. Good! Now she'd have no doubt that I was coming for her.

_And on her. In her…_

To further prove my theory that she'd lost her mind, my little minx said in a voice dripping with sex, "Come and get me, big boy, if you think you're up for it."

Yup. Her mind had gone the way of the Dodo, alright.

I took off for the bathroom, removing my shoes and shirt as I went. I'd pick them up later; I had got bigger fish to fry presently.

_Who gives a shit about fish? I've got tastier Sookies to eat. _

_Potato, potahto._

She was standing by the tub when I got to the door. She had her skirt off, her thong still on, and was pulling her shirt over her head. I grabbed her arms to stop her from accomplishing her mission. I had her in the perfect position right now. She had her head trapped within her shirt, her mouth and nose uncovered, effectively blindfolded.

_Yay me!_

I bent to kiss her neck softly, right in that soft spot under her ear that I knew drove her wild. "Sookie," I whispered against her skin, "you were a very naughty lover, teasing me like that."

I began kissing along her jaw line lightly, "You know that you have to be punished now, yes?" I purred at her.

She whimpered as she tried to grind her barely veiled pussy against my thigh. I moved my lower half back slightly, denying her the friction she craved.

"I'm sorry, Eric. I'll be a good girl. Forgive me?" She panted loudly as I gathered both her hands into one of mine.

"Tsk, tsk, dear one. It's far too early for you to be begging. Trust me, my Sookie, there will be LOTS of time for you to beg," I growled the last line at her as I ran my fingers ever so lightly between her breasts.

She tried again, in vain, to rub her hot little pussy against my leg. I used my free hand to push her bra up over my girls. I loved my girls! I also loved my Sookie blindfolded, it turned out. We'd never done bondage before and I found that it was driving me wild. So I scooped her up unexpectedly, bridal style, and headed off towards her room (scared the hell out of her when I did, too!).

She screamed like a little girl and threw the shirt off her face, "ERIC! What the hell?!"

Being the shit I was, I couldn't help but laugh at her. The look on her face was priceless. I was only human after all, and that shit was funny!

"Shh, sweetness, I've got a much better plan than a shower right now." Her face was torn between shock, fear, and anticipation. "I know _exactly_ how I want to get even with you, my little minx."

The look of fear on her face as we entered her room made me pause before setting her on the bed. "Sookie? What is it?" I asked quietly.

She seemed to be trying to find the words. The silence was maddening! Finally she whispered, "Eric, you won't hurt me will you?"

I was blown away. Could she really think that of me? My heart broke a little at the possibility she could ever think I'd hurt her.

"Sweetheart, I could never hurt you. I was just playing, you must know that." I couldn't hide the sadness in my voice.

"Do you want us to stop?" I was very much hoping that she wouldn't say yes. But, if she did, of course we'd stop.

A look of pure shock settled on her face, right before the tears started. "Oh god, Eric! I'm so sorry! That's not what I meant. I know you'd never _hurt me_, hurt me!"

She wiggled in my arms, indicating that she wanted to get down. I set her on the bed, and she instantly got onto her knees and gripped my face with both hands.

"Eric, I can't wait for the torture you're about to bring! I'm sorry for hurting you. I didn't mean it the way you're thinking. Honest." She kissed my lips softly once, then the tip of my nose, and then my forehead before pulling her face back.

"Then what _did_ you mean?" I asked as I looked deeply into her eyes. I could honestly say I'd never been so confused!

She smiled weakly at me, seeming so nervous. "What I meant, is that I don't want to get hurt again. I'm so happy you're here really with me." Her smile got a little bigger. "I can't tell you how much I've wished for this. How much I've dreamt of this!"

Her lips brushed mine quickly. "I don't want to wake up from the dream this time." She shrugged slightly, her eyes searching mine for understanding.

I understood completely. I didn't want to wake up from this either. If it was a dream – God, please let me die in my sleep.

My lips crashed into hers. I knotted my hands in her hair and pulled her tightly to me. "Never! Let's never wake up," I breathed against her lips as we gasped for air. "I don't ever want to be without you again, my beautiful Sookie. I've waited far too long to have you back in my arms!"

She was still leaking precious tears (God, how I hated to see her cry), but this time I knew they were tears of joy, so the sting was less. I kissed away her tears, begging her softly not to cry.

"You're going to need a police escort, a pry bar, and a mandate from God to get rid of me this time, lover. I'm not going anywhere without you. Not again." There was no doubt of my sincerity in my voice. It rang with my conviction.

She pulled back to look at me, then grinned widely through her tears. Seeing her gorgeous smile, I knew it was time to lighten the mood again.

"So… you're dying for my torture, huh?" I leered at her.

"Uhh, I don't think that's exactly how I phrased it."

"Well, no matter how you phrase it, the result is the same. I will have my retribution for your teasing ways." I was kissing her along her collar bone, nibbling gently.

"Now, be a good girl, and tell me where to find either a tie or a nice scarf."

Score another one for me, I shocked the shit out of her. Again. She stuttered as she asked for clarification.

_I was sure I spoke English_.

"Sookie, dear. Tie. Scarf. Now."

She asked me what I was planning to do with it. So… me being me, I told her that I was about to give her the best night of her life.

"Do you trust me?" Strangely, I was nervous for her answer.

"With my life."

She didn't even have to think about it. Her declaration made my heart skip a beat, and fall that much deeper in love with her. The fact that she could trust me with no reservations, after all this time apart, showed me she was the one (not that I ever doubted it). This moment simply reinforced that knowledge.

I smiled broadly at her. "Well then, I say we forget the past. Start totally new tonight. Let's throw ourselves into this. Into us. Exclusively. Let's make this work."

She was nodding fiercely, so I knew we were on the same page.

"Total trust, total submission. Starting right here, tonight. Agreed?"

"One hundred percent. I'm yours, Eric."

Again, her answer pierced my heart. "As I am yours," I responded gently.

I grasped her face gently between my hands, "Now, let me say this, Sookie… I love you. My love for you hasn't changed one bit, even through our time apart. You alone hold the key to my heart. You are the keeper of my soul. I have no intention of letting you go again. _Ever_." My eyes never left hers as I poured my heart out to her.

"Eric. My sweet, sweet, Eric. I love you more than life itself, and I haven't been whole for one second since we parted. Thank you for bringing me back to life by coming back to me. I, too, have no intention of ever letting you go again."

She brought her lips to mine, sealing our pledge to one another. We kissed passionately, moaning against each other's lips. When we had to break for air, we pressed our foreheads together, both of us panting like crazy.

My voice was ragged with love and need as I instructed her, "Sookie, tie. Scarf. Now. Don't make your punishment worse."

She pulled back to eye me for a second. "If I'm to submit to your torture, does that mean you'll submit to mine?" her face impassive as she bargained.

"Turnabout is fair play after all, isn't it? I would be willing to submit in any way that I expect you to."

As the words left my mouth, I realized I'd just talked myself out of anal sex with her tonight. Most likely anyway.

I wasn't too sure how I'd feel about 'turnabout' in that instance!

With a nod, Sookie hopped off the bed and headed to her closet.

"I have no ties, but I have several scarves," she said with her back to me.

I snuck up behind her, shoved my hand into the front of her thong and whispered against her ear, "Grab three."

As I pressed my erection against her ass, she moaned, reaching for the sweet implements of torture.

_I love my life. _

_I love my Sookie. _

_Holy fuck, but it's good to be me!_

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_**Yes, I know – another cliff hanger! Don't hate me! **_

_**They did declare their love – now I'm thinking blindfolds and bondage… yay!**_

_**No worries, my friends, a shower scene will come (and so shall they) – but for next chapter we'll have Sookie's torture.**_

_**Then, maybe Eric's – then shower!**_

_**Please keep the reviews coming! **_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	9. Chapter 9: Sweet, Sweet Torture

_**Don't own them, this is not for profit so don't bother suing. You won't get much more than a great smile and an IOU right now, lol.**_

_**Unbetaed – so the whoopsies, I do own.**_

_**Best to everyone! **_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

**SPOV:**

I had no idea what all just happened here, but I wasn't gonna bitch about it! We went from a planning playful game of torture (one I was really looking forward to), to declaring ourselves to one another. We'd pretty much just committed, one hundred percent, to being _us_ again.

Exclusively, indefinitely, permanently us.

Next thing I knew I was at my closet, with Eric's hard on nestled between my ass cheeks and his hand on my crotch, grabbing scarves so that he could blindfold and restrain me.

Life sure did throw some weird curve balls at you. But I wasn't complaining, and I'd catch every damn one that came my way, if it was my Eric pitching.

_MY ERIC!_

_He was really, truly mine again - finally. _

_Wow._

One of the best parts of all this was that later tonight I was going to get to blindfold and restrain _him_. I was nearly ready come undone from just the thought of it. I felt the fresh wave of juices that ruined my thong, and so did Eric since his fingers were teasing my folds through the barely there satin. Both of us moaning loudly at the new warmth and slickness that my arousal brought.

I somehow managed to pull out three scarves as requested through my lust induced haze, though I'd never know how. Eric turned me to face him, kissing me in earnest as he ran his hands over my ass, pressing his cock against me.

"Are you sure you're okay with this, baby?" he whispered against my lips.

"_Oh yes_… provided of course that you don't renege on your end."

"I promise you, lover. If you let me torture you, you _will_ get your chance for payback." He purred against my neck, nuzzling against it.

He took the scarves, grabbed my hand, and led me to the bed. He motioned with a twirl of his finger for me to turn around. When I did as requested he unhooked my bra then began sliding it off my shoulders slowly, letting his fingers brush against my breasts as he went. Powerless to control my reactions to his touch, I shuddered and moaned at the sensation.

My bra fell off my arms and pooled at my feet. Without turning me around, Eric slid my thong off my hips. Every brush of his fingers against my skin sent shockwaves to my pussy as he eased my soaking wet panties toward my feet.

_Was his touch fucking mainlined to my girlie bits?! _

I had to admit it was possible…

Reaching my ankles, Eric began to nibble my ass cheeks. I placed my hands on his shoulders so I didn't fall as I freed myself completely from my thong one leg at a time. Eric tortured me with his pace as his hands roamed back up my legs, all the while continuing to kiss and nibble my tush.

I truly never knew that your bottom could be a sexual organ. As he worked on driving me out of my mind, I found myself wondering what else might feel good involving my virgin hole…

The possibilities were both tantalizing and enticingly forbidden.

I was brought out of my curiosity fueled daydream when Eric stood up behind me and asked me to lie down on the bed.

"Put your head on the pillows and lie on your back. Now. Please," he growled as he kissed behind my ear.

I did as I was commanded, happily.

_Let the games begin!_

_**oooOOOooo**_

**EPOV:**

My dick was so utterly fucking hard, I was sure I could pound nails with it.

Throbbing and aching, so stiff and heavy and hypersensitive, it actually hurt. I needed to be buried balls deep within her, preferably soon! The only thing tempering my desire was the thrill of having her submit to me, completely.

I wasn't normally one for domination or anything. I wasn't a member of the BDSM community, and the idea of it had never on my top ten list.

But, hot damn…

_With as hard as my cock was presently, I might be bumping that shit to my top three._

My sweet, sweet Sookie was going to let me tie her up and tease the ever-loving fuck out of her! I wasn't sure if I was more turned on by what I was about to do to her, or by the fact that she'd soon be doing it to me! Just the thought of Sookie being in control like that...

Dear God, it would take all of my self control to not come from just the _thought_ of it.

_Head in the game, Northman. Your woman is naked and waiting for you!_

I looked at my beautiful girl, so pleased she did as I told her and had scooted up the bed to lie with her head on the pillows. Thank God her bed was one of the old style ones that actually had places to secure her to.

Sometimes you just couldn't beat antiques. Beautiful, well made, and multi-purposed.

I crawled up her body slowly, running my hands up her silky legs as I went. My movements were torturously slow, my touches feather light. I licked and kissed her here and there as I worshiped her perfect form.

As I reached the heaven that lay between my lover's legs, I was nearly done in at the sight of her glistening folds. She was so wet for me that she was literally _dripping_. I blew softly across her pussy, reveling in her shiver as I continued to move my hands over her body. Sookie gasped as my breath hit her heated flesh, and as I watched her pussy quiverd.

_It fucking quivered! _

I was dying to dive my face into her and explore that sweet pussy until she begged for mercy and maybe passed out, my tongue aching with the desire to taste her, but I regretfully forced myself to wait.

"Sookie, your delicious little cunt seems to want my attention. Do you think you deserve to feel me?" I purred at her, my face just millimeters from my favorite meal.

As my warm breath caressed her folds Sookie groaned, trying to grind her pussy against my face. "Yes, yes I deserve it. I've been such a good girl," she assured me.

"Please Eric, I want you so bad baby. I _need_ you. Please let me feel you!" the sound of her pleas making my cock twitch rhythmically.

"Ah, my dear one, I'm just getting started. The begging will come later, for now, lift your head."

I moved up her body to straddle her waist, my weeping length thumping against her stomach as I folded the scarf into the perfect blindfold.

"Sookie, it's important to me that you know that I want this to be very pleasurable for you. I will need you to tell me if you want me to stop, or if you aren't enjoying something. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, I want this to build trust between us, not ruin it."

"Eric, I promise I'll tell you if we need to change things up, but I'm sure I'm going to love it. I trust you, sweetie. Completely." The smile she gave me reminds me of exactly why I love her so much.

Sookie Stackhouse was home to me. Her smile, her body, her soul… the only home I'd ever want.

"I love you Sookie. So, so much," my voice thick with emotion as I leaned in to kiss her tenderly. As my lips moved with hers, I finished readying the blindfold.

"Here we go, my love. There's no turning back now. You're sure?"

With her permission I slipped the scarf over her eyes and secured it behind her head.

I moved my body up hers slightly, sighing as the head of my cock thrust accidently between her ample breasts. I began moving my hips purposely now, but only small movements, rocking my tip between her tits as I tied her first arm to the bed.

"Now, these need to be tight enough to restrain you, but they shouldn't hurt. I need you to tell me if they are too painful."

My girl nodded her understanding and relaxed further into the bed. Even though I wasn't quite titty-fucking her, it still felt amazing as I continued to pitch my hips forward. The pre-cum flowing from my dick was making the sensation unbelievable and I was having a hard time concentrating enough to tie up her other arm.

_God in heaven, what this woman does to my body!_

I finally managed to get her secured and had to force myself to stop grinding against her flesh. If I didn't stop now, I'd cover her in my cum before the show could really begin.

But I was in the perfect position for something delicious, and I just couldn't pass up the opportunity to tease myself further, so I lifted up slightly and pushed myself up her body a bit further. I gripped my cock tightly (but I didn't stroke it. Fuck, I was barely holding on here as it was), and I rubbed only the leaking tip across her lips.

Sookie gasped as the realization of what was against her dawned. I felt her smile against me right before she placed a wet-lipped kiss to my over sensitized head.

"Sookie, oh God," my voice strained with my combined effort to not blow my load, and to get her to never. Fucking. Stop!

"Lick the tip a little, _ungh yes_, just like that, baby."

Her mouth was the sweetest heaven. Just her tongue was enough to make you wish for death at her hands. She began giving soft, opened mouth kisses, with a hint of tongue, to the tip of my cock.

_She's making out with my dick! Holy fuck, I'm the luckiest man alive! _

"Oh God, Sookie, your mouth is so sweet, so soft and wonderful. You make me want to fuck that sweet mouth of yours until the head of my cock swells deep in your throat, fucking it until I can't help but explode, releasing stream after stream of my hot cum into you."

She licked her lips, along with the apex of my cock, and said in a breathy voice, "I want to suck that perfect cock of yours until you scream and shake, until you lose the ability to think or stand, baby. Come in my mouth, I'll swallow every delicious drop you give me."

And with that, she raised her head off the pillows and took more of me into her mouth than I was expecting.

I couldn't hold back the groan that racked my body when I felt her lips around me. I shoved forward, allowing her to take a good portion of my length into her, only seconds from losing it here.

I wanted to come so badly, my eyes pricked with tears I'd never let fall.

Wanting to prolong this moment, I regretfully disengaged from her sweet mouth, removing myself from the temptation of her siren's song completely. Sookie whimpered adorably as I got off her, and truth be told I think I might have whimpered as well.

_She just felt too damned good! _

I positioned myself to sit on my knees beside her. I didn't want her to know where each touch, lick, kiss and suck came from. I leaned in and kissed her mouth, gently at first conveying my love for her. As the kiss lingered it deepened, Sookie began pulling against her bonds trying to move toward me, moaning in a way she knew brought me to my knees. Breathy and needy and sensually sinful.

_Vixen!_

"That was a dirty little trick my beautiful girl. You are terribly bad, and I think you have just increased your punishment tenfold."

Sookie mewled softly, straining against her bonds, rubbing her thighs together desperately seeking friction.

"Sook, do you still have the toy I bought you all those years ago?"

She nodded, so I went straight to the bedside table where she always used to keep it. Nestled in her bag of tricks was not only the dildo I had gotten her, but her diary and a feather pen.

_A fucking feather pen. _

_NO SHIT! _

Well, well…and I'd been thinking tonight couldn't possibly get any better!

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_**Yes, yes, yes… I know. These teasing endings are bullshit! I have no earthly idea why I ended things where I did when I originally wrote this, but I did it and now we all have to cope with the fallout. I will admit that it frustrates me too, and I often find myself thinking, "what the blue shit was wrong with me?!" **_

_**I'll warn y'all that if memory serves, I ended many MANY of the chapters for this story like this. I could go back and completely rewrite each chapter and change the entire layout of this – but then I'd never get back to A Thousand Years, or any of my other stories. **_

_**What I will do is ensure to update frequently when the chapters end shittily like this. Please try to still love me, even though y'all probably think I blow monkey dick right now! :D**_

_**Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed or favorited this story or me in general. I adore you guys!**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	10. Chapter 10: Ah Yes, Right There!

_**This chapter is NSFW – just to give y'all a heads up. **_

_**And I have to say, that I'm right there with everyone that finds it odd that Eric would think bar-side sex and some light bondage are the ways to say "gee honey, I've missed you so much!" Yeah, no idea what I was going through when I originally wrote this! I told one of my reviewers that surely I was either drunk or in need of buckets of meds/therapy when I wrote it… let's just go with that for an explanation and enjoy the ride, because I honestly do think I was enjoying the benefits from a winery tour when I was writing this the first time. LOL! **_

_**You know what Hemmingway said, "Write Drunk. Edit Sober." – perhaps I should have amended that to "Write buzzed. Edit better…"**_

_**Don't own them, this is not for profit so don't bother suing. You won't get much more than a great smile and an IOU right now, lol.**_

_**Unbetaed – so the whoopsies, I do own.**_

_**Best to everyone! **_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

**EPOV**

I pulled the feather pen and vibrator from the drawer, closed the drawer and set the items of her torture on the bed next to me.

_What to do, what to do? Where, and with what, should I touch my angel first?_

"Eric, I'm dying here! You have to touch me NOW!" She panted, twisting her bindings fiercely.

"Patience, my love. Patience. All good things come to those who wait." I couldn't help but grin widely at my effect on her.

I picked up the feather pen as quietly as possible, trying my best not to move the bed too much. I gripped the pen portion, and ran the feather from the top of Sookie's left foot, all the way to her knee. She hissed at the contact, squirming impatiently.

"Eric! What the hell was that?!"

"Shhh, Sookie. This is part of your torture. Now please, my lover, no more talking. Only feeling." I commanded firmly. "The only noises I want to hear coming from you are the sounds of your pleasure."

I trailed the feather slowly up and down her legs, stopping just shy of her pussy on each pass. She was panting, writhing, and moaning at my activities. Thrusting her pussy toward the sensation each time I brought the feather to the tops of her thighs.

_Who knew a simple feather could incite this kind of passion from someone?!_

_Perhaps some other types of sexual experimentation should be penciled into our immediate future, if just a feather is this much fun…_

I picked up the vibrator on one of my passes down her legs. I turned it on and thanked the Gods it was one of those 'whisper quiet' ones (not that she'd hear it anyway with the noise she's making. Yup, I'm the _man_!).

I pressed it to her clit ever so lightly just as the feather hit the crest of its journey up her legs. Sookie's whole body stiffened the moment the vibrator landed home and a long, low moan erupted from her body. She planted her feet on the bed and raised her hips toward the sensation.

"Ungh. Oh God! More, please, more!"

_Who am I to deny her a little relief?_

I began lightly moving the vibrator over her clit and glistening lips as I placed my hand on her stomach to hold her steady against the bed. The noises my lover was making were simply amazing!

With each moan, sigh, and near sob, my cock pulsed. I wasn't sure how long I could draw this out. As much as I wanted to tease her, to share in this new experience with her, my throbbing member didn't seem to have the patience I had just reminded her to utilize.

I was in _serious_ danger of blowing my load the moment Mini Me came into contact with _anything_.

"Tell me lover, does your sweet little pussy ache for my hard cock?" I asked, making her whimper.

I leaned in closely (making sure to keep my dick from her luscious skin) to whisper in her ear, "Do you want me to push my cock into you slowly, teasing your clit with my fingers, until I fill you completely? Making you scream my name and beg for God?"

"Ohhh, Eric, yes. Yes, fill me up with your huge, hard cock!" She said as she turned her head to bite my neck lightly.

"I think that I must taste you, my delectable Sookie, before I grant your wish," I breathed into the crook of her neck as I began planting kisses against her skin.

I moved myself so that I was positioned between her supple thighs. My cock ached to be buried inside her, but I was forcing myself to hold out just a little bit longer. The anticipation would make the moment of penetration so much sweeter for both of us.

I began my slowly descent down her body, stopping to pay homage to her beautiful breasts. Taking each of the hard peaks into my mouth one at a time, I licked, sucked, and nibbled each nipple. My hands roamed over her soft skin, teasing her – worshiping her, like the goddess she was.

I continued to kiss and lick down her body, watching her twitch as I ghosted over her flat stomach. Finally, I reached my idea of heaven and reveled in nuzzling her soft curls, inhaling her delicious scent deeply.

Sookie was panting and moaning in anticipation of what was to come. I leaning in so close to her dripping lips that when I spoke my breath fanned over her, making her hiss and writhe.

"Tell me Sookie. Tell me what you want me to do next."

"Please Eric, please fuck my pussy with your mouth," she begged. "Then, when I can't take any more, fuck me with that rock hard cock."

_There's nothing sexier than woman who knows exactly what she wants! _

"As you wish, my love."

As soon as the words left my mouth, I flicked her clit with my tongue. She groaned in appreciation and began grinding herself against me, fucking my face. I flattened out my tongue and licked with a little more pressure, making my sweet girl buck and cry out loudly.

_I love how she responds to me, almost as much as I love her! I'll never know what I did to deserve her, but I'll never let her go again! _

I licked from that soft spot between her holes, all the way to the clit, swirling my tongue in circles lightly around her swollen nub while sliding two fingers into her. Her soft walls instantly clamp down on me as she began to fuck my hand with reckless abandon.

Nothing was more beautiful than Sookie when she's on the cusp of an orgasm. Her soft lips parted, her body glistening with a fine layer of sweat, breathing in shallow pants, moaning almost continuously…_ She was a goddess. _

I was awestruck by not only her beauty, but by the amount of love I felt for this woman.

I felt her walls begin to flutter around my fingers, and knew she was about to come undone.

"Sookie, are you ready to come for me?" I rasped against her pussy, making her shudder.

"Yesss," she hissed. "Eric!"

"That's my girl. I've got you, sweetheart."

Her pussy gripped my fingers with a relentless fervor, her hips lifting from the bed as her orgasm began. I took her clit between my teeth gently, yet firmly, and flicked it at an almost inhuman speed with my tongue. Sookie began thrashing and screaming, and were it not for the look of rapture on her face, I'd have worried that this second orgasm was killing her.

I couldn't take another moment of not being inside her. My poor cock was throbbing, weeping, and an alarming shade of purple. I need the relief that only my sweet Sookie could bring me, and I needed it _now_.

I withdrew my fingers from her pussy, and with her walls still fluttering I began to push into her slowly. I knew I wouldn't be able to last as long, but my embarrassment was a welcomed trade off after seeing her come that hard.

_Dear God, don't let me come as soon as I'm in her! She feels so fucking good. So wet, so warm, so tight… _

_Oh God!_

As soon as the head of my dick was sheathed within her I needed a time out. She simply felt too fucking good. I lifted her head gently with one hand and remove the blindfold, wanting to look in her eyes when I made her scream the next time.

"I need to see you lover. I need to look in your eyes as I make you mine!" my voice hoarse, straining with my effort to avoid exploding inside her.

I pushed myself into her a little deeper, relishing the indescribable feeling of her gripping my cock with her tight little cunt. With each inch I entered her I fell a little deeper in love with her. She was my home.

_Sookie Stackhouse owns me completely, and might just be the death of me someday. _

_But what a way to go…_

"Eric, please. I need you to move. Fuck me baby, show me who I belong to," she begged as her hips ground against me, forcing me impossibly deeper and causing my cock to slam into her to the hilt.

Instantly I froze, gripping her hips to hold her flush against me. One false move and I was done for.

"Jesus fuck, woman! Are you trying to kill me?! You want me to come so soon, Sookie?" I snarled through gritted teeth.

She giggled.

Fucking giggled at me.

_Death by Sookie, coming right up!_

"Oh, you think you're funny, do you?"

I gripped her hips harder, pulling myself up onto my knees, taking her with me. My cock still buried deep within her, I began rubbing circles on her clit with my thumb, pressing with just enough force to make her pant almost instantly.

"You want to test my control, beautiful? You think you're funny making me almost blow my load like a virgin on prom night?"

I shook my head at her, "Tsk, tsk… Now I'll have to punish you all over again, my love." I began rubbing her clit hard and fast, guaranteeing that she'd be coming all over my cock in a matter of seconds.

"Eric! Ungh, Eric... I'm sorry! I was a bad, bad girl. I promise to be good, but please start moving. Fuck me hard and fast, God. Please!" She began grinding against me (as much as she was able to with my death grip on her hips, anyway).

"Oh no, baby. You wanted to play… so let's _play_."

I applied a little more pressure with my thumb and picked up the pace a tad. Her walls were beginning to flutter around my cock, signaling that she wouldn't last much longer.

_Fucking hell, neither would I for that matter!_

"Sookie, don't try to speed this up, baby. Please, I can't hold out much longer. Let me set the pace. I want to be inside you for as long as possible. Can you do this for me?" I begged as I began to guide her up and down on my cock, never stopping my assault on her clit.

_Sweet Jesus, I want to come so bad!_

_NEED to fucking come._

_Oh, God she feels so. Fucking. Good!_

"Anything for you, Eric. Your cock feels so good buried deep in my pussy! Filling me, stretching me, owning my pussy like only you can. Baby, I love the way you fuck me!"

The fluttering increased against my dick. Oh god, I was almost there. So fucking close it hurt. I couldn't help but to slam into her harder, pulling almost all the way out with each stroke then entering her again firmly yet slowly, a metric ton of force behind each thrust.

_Oh fuck! _

_This is too fucking good. _

_Too. Fucking. Good. _

It was so earth shatteringly good, my toes were curling and I was sure I was going to pass the fuck out when I finally came.

"Eric! Oh God, Eric," she moaned in a voice I'd never heard her use before.

"I… I… I'm going to come _now_!" she screamed.

Her pussy gripped my cock so tightly it was almost painful, throwing any control I had out the window. I slammed to slam into her at a frantic pace, unable to hold back further. One, two, three times. My strokes erratic in my search for liquid gold. I roared as my cock began to spasm inside her, the force of my orgasm causing a new wave of contractions within her.

_She's fucking coming again! Oh, sweet Jesus!_

We screamed each other's names as the impossible happened… Her convulsing cunt grabbed me so hard that it milked another orgasm from me, the power of it almost frightening in its intensity.

"FUCK, SOOKIE!" There were flashes of light behind my eyes, my ears ringing loudly.

_Shit, I really might pass out!_

I retained enough of my sanity to not collapse on top of her, releasing her hips and falling with my arms on either side of her head. I was barely supporting my own weight, my arms shaking uncontrollably, and yet I'd never felt better in my life.

"Oh my GOD, Sookie! What the fuck was that?"

I'd had some great orgasms, all the best of which had been with her, but I'd _never_ experienced anything like that before!

"Mmmmm, baby I have no idea. But we need to do that again, and SOON!" she giggled.

"I concur, my dear. That was fucking amazing! Lover, you are _spectacular_!" I kissed her lips, her nose, and then her forehead as I leaned up to untie her.

"I've never tried bondage before but I must say that you make it something worth doing again, and again… and again."

"I'm not sure I can walk," she cooed. "But I think we need to shower now, then get some food, and then maybe have that talk finally."

She leaned up and kissed me with a passion that had my dick starting to twitch again.

_What the fuck, no way am I getting hard again so soon!_

"But remember, big boy… it's my turn to be in control next. I'm going to make you come so hard, that last orgasm will be completely forgotten."

My minx pushed me roughly catching me by surprise, and jumped off the bed laughing as I fell over. She winked at me as she reached the doorway, curling her finger at me, beckoning me.

"You coming, hot stuff?"

_Oh, hell fucking yes I am!_

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_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	11. Chapter 11: Feed Me

_**Unbetaed – so the whoopsies, I do own – everything else belongs to the original creators (AB & CH)**_

_**Best to everyone! **_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

**EPOV**

That was sure something! Who knew bondage could be so much fun?! It was certainly something Sookie and I would be doing again, preferably very, _very_ soon.

I couldn't lie; I was a bit nervous about her payback. I didn't surrender control easily. It just wasn't who I was. But perhaps I was wrong, perhaps I'd enjoy it as much as I did every other thing she and I had ever tried. It was certainly possible - anything was when it came to my Sookie. That little girl had changed everything about me the moment our lips first met, all those years ago.

No matter how much time we'd spent apart, she owned me. Mind, body and soul. _I was hers_.

I opened the shower curtain slightly, peering in at my love, captivated by how truly beautiful she was. For me, she was physically perfect; achingly beautiful, curvy in all the right places. Curves so fucking _hot_ they made my dick ache to be buried within her, _every waking moment_.

But it was so much more than appearances with Sookie. She was sweet and funny. Sexy, soft and caring, but she could still be tough as nails when she needed to be.

Not one day had gone by since our split that she hadn't consumed my thoughts. Hell, she even haunted my dreams - nightly. And now I was standing behind her in the shower, after freaking amazing sex, with the heart-warming knowledge that she'd never gotten over me either.

As much as I wanted her again at that moment, I didn't want this to be about only sex. I knew that might make me a bit of a pussy, but I'd waited too long for this moment. I'd needed her so very much, every moment of these years apart. My heart healed just a little more as I stood here watching her. Swear to God, I wasn't going to lose her this time! This time, I'd make her mine forever. She had no idea what I had in store for her. I had come back here to make her mine again in every way. Period.

And _nothing_ was going to keep me from her.

"Are you coming in with me, Eric, or do I have to be all wet all by myself?" _Fuck_, my hard-on had just started to go down! Then she beckoned to me and _poof!_ Insta-boner. As if I could deny my sweet girl?

"I was going to suggest I go make you something to eat, lover, since you said you were hungry. But now look what you've gone and done to me," I began to slowly stroke my cock. "How can I possibly walk away from you now, after you've made my dick all stiff and achy again?"

With a wicked smirk, my little minx bent down and licked the head of my dick, "I'm sure I can help you with this condition I've so rudely caused. Come on in here, big boy," she looked up at me through those thick fucking lashes.

_Fuck the food!_

I'd happily starve to death if it meant more time with her touching my cock! Just as I started to climb into the shower (with her mouth still attached to my dick, by the way), the fucking doorbell rang.

"Who the hell could that be Sook? It's gotta be like two o'clock in the morning!" And no matter what time it was, whoever was out there was seriously cock-blocking me. And I wasn't a happy fucking camper!

"I have no idea, Eric. Would you please throw on some pants and go see who it is?" She let out a heavy sigh before adding, "And, kick their ass for me too, whoever it is! Fucking cock-blockers!" She was just too cute for words sometimes! There was my girl, with her (totally bitable) pouty lip going, using the word "cock-blocker".

_Yup, she's absolutely fucking perfect!_

I gave her a quick kiss on the tip of her nose and ran back to the bedroom to throw on my jeans. Now, in addition to the incessant ringing of the doorbell, whatever asswagon was out there was also pounding on the door. I'd hate to have to go to jail my first night back in town, but if this shit didn't stop I was _seriously_ going to mess someone up!

I threw open the front door, ready to pound the shit outta someone to find _fucking Jason._ With pizzas?

"'Bout time you answer the Goddamn door, you fuckstick! The food's getting cold, man!"

Jason pushed past me and headed straight for the living room. He threw the pizzas on the coffee table before dropping himself on the sofa like he owned the place. And before you could say "asswagon", he'd gotten his shoes off had the remote in hand, and was turning on the TV.

Tara sighed and gave me the "what the fuck would you like me to do about it" look. We all wore that look from time to time when we were around Jason.

"Sorry, Eric, you know how he is. He wouldn't take no for an answer… but hey man, at least we brought food!" She smiled sheepishly up at me as she came through the doorway.

Seeing her man lounged about, acting like the ape he too often was she yelled, "Jason Stackhouse! If you're gonna barge in this house in the middle of the night and interrupt whatever they had going on, you _best_ at least get your monkey-ass up and get plates and shit for everyone!"

She turned to roll her eyes at me, "Honestly, you'd think he was raised in the jungle like Tarzan with the way he behaves sometimes. Fucking cave-gorilla!" she bitched while shaking her head, a fond smile on her face aimed in his direction.

Sookie came out in her Hello Kitty pajamas just as Jase went to get the plates. "What the fuck is going on here?"

She was standing in the doorway to the living room with her hands on her hips, and her left foot tapping away. Most people wouldn't find Hello Kitty pajamas sexually stimulating… but most people weren't me. Sookie could be wearing a burlap sack and I'd get hard as steel from the sight of her.

_Calm down, it's not cool to fuck her senseless in front of her brother, Northman._

Catching the look on my face she smiled slyly. "Hold your horses, big boy. Food first, fun later," she quipped as she blew me a kiss.

_Yup, fucked! I was so, so fucked._

_And soo without willpower!_

I walked up to her, grabbed her around the waist, and lifted her up before crashing my lips to hers. I couldn't help it man, she was just too damned edible! Her legs instinctively wrapped around my waist and I shoved her up against the wall. Realistically, I knew it was completely uncouth to be doing this at the moment, but I could have given two shits!

"Hey, sis… _oh man_! What the _fuck_ you guys! Eric! Put my fucking sister down. Now. And, Sook… really?! What the fuck?! Tara, baby, go grab the Borax quick-like; I need to wash my damn eyes out!" Jase stomped past us, muttering something about brain bleaching, as I released Sookie (quite reluctantly, I might add).

"Lover, I'm going to take a quick shower, I'll be right back." And with a kiss to her nose, I headed for the showers. "Make sure that bottomless pit you call a brother saves me a couple slices, will you, baby?" I yelled behind me, knowing she'd kick his ass if he ate all the food.

I took the fastest shower of my life, all too aware that if I didn't hurry Jason really would chow down every last drop of the food. I dried off at lightning speed, and then threw my jeans and wife-beater back on. I headed back into the living room and made a beeline for the pie. I grabbed a plate and threw four slices on it.

_What?! I'm a growing boy!_

Just as I was about to sit the fucking doorbell rang, _again_.

"I've got it, I'm still standing." I headed over, plate in hand, and opened the door.

_Really, can this night get any fucking weirder?_ _What the fuck is this clown doing here?_

"Hey man, isn't it a bit late for you to be knocking on Sookie's door?" I thought it was a perfectly reasonable question, but apparently not if I used his reaction as a gage.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here? You have no right to be here, especially at this hour! People would think it _unseemly_. NOW LEAVE!"

"Oh. No. You. DIDN'T!" Sookie hopped up from the sofa, eyes blazing.

_Bwahaha… Someone's in some deep doo-doo now!_

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_**Thanks for all the alerts, favorites, and reviews! And thanks for reading!**_

_**Update on a couple of things…**_

"_**A Thousand Years" – so, here's what I've discovered about my writing previous writing style. WRITING WITHOUT OUTLINING YOUR PLANS IS BAAADD FUCKING BUSINESS FOR STORIES MORE THAN 3 CHAPTERS IN LENGTH! I can now totally see why people make some sort of plan and don't just let their muses run off with the store. I'm re-reading it and outlining it now & will have an update very soon. I'm so horribly sorry for the delay – I honestly never anticipated falling so far behind, or I wouldn't have begun posting it when I did. Thank you for all of you who are willing to stick with me while I pull my muse's head outta his ass on that one (Eric's POV, so that muse has to be a boy, lol).**_

"_**Wrecked" – I've already outlined a huge portion of that story and will be updating it very soon. I know it's a TVD story, not TB/SVM – but I'd be honored if any of y'all would like to give it a go. It's not necessary to watch the show to read this story, it's original fiction – it just uses their names.**_

_**I also have a TVD one-shot coming soon that's helping to combat the nerves that writing Wrecked is causing. That's an intense story to pen. So, the one-shot will be called "Come Over" and should be up soon.**_

_**Aaannnddd… I'll try to have the next chapter of this up tomorrow – but no promises. Got a few appointments tomorrow. If not, then I'll have it up by Sunday.**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_

_**Jen**_


	12. Chapter 12: Who Invited You?

_**Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters, Charlaine Harris does… and she's a lucky, lucky gal. But, this is unbetaed – so the mistakes I do (sadly) own.**_

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**SPOV**

_Jesus Christ, Sheppard of Judea that was the hottest sex EVER!_

The things that man could do to my body! I found myself wondering how I'd ever top that little escapade. Knowing I probably couldn't. But I'd sure as hell try, as often as possible if I had anything to say about it!

The only thing I wanted now, however, was a shower!

I was sticky, sore, and in desperate need of some steam therapy. After that I was in need of some food, and a lot of it! I was worn the hell out. Completely, utterly and tantalizingly spent.

_And WOWZERS…was it worth it!_

Just as we were about to get down to business again, in the shower this time, my doorbell rang. Eric was so sweet, tucking away his enormous boner to answer my door in the middle of the night. I couldn't believe the way life can turn on a dime. I'd missed him so much and I never thought I'd get him back, yet here he was.

_In my house, my bed, and back in my life. _

I didn't know what I'd done to deserve this chance, but I was never letting him go again. I wondered if it was too soon to ask him to move in with me? I knew it probably was but I might just ask anyway, I couldn't imagine being away from him again after tonight. I hurried through my shower, got dressed and headed out to see who was here.

_My asstard of a brother, at this hour?_ _But hey…_

_PIZZA!_

So yeah, I totally forgave his late night intrusion because he was sporting pizzas as peace offerings, and I was freaking starving! And after being attacked by Eric (not that I was complaining mind you), I was truly in need of sustenance.

Besides, I had do something with my mouth, before I went to finish what we started before my asstard (oops, I mean brother) so rudely interrupted.

As soon as I sat down on the couch, Tara jumped into my lap like some kinda cat on crack.

"Bitch, you know I need some details! Now spill, hooker!"

_Oh, fuck no. This bitch was now between me and my food, and friendship will only get you so far._

_Hell has no fury like an over-fucked hungry woman._

I shoved her ass right onto the floor, and then grabbed a slice. What?! I was hungry, and she was a pain in the ass sometimes, best friend or not!

"You barge into my house in the middle of the night," I took a bite of my slice and didn't even bother to swallow before continuing. "And you think you can demand anything of me, bitch?" I raised my eyebrow and smirked at her, pulling an 'Eric'.

"You know you want to tell me what you and the big blonde Viking are getting' up to! Come on Sook, I'm dying here!" She grabbed a slice, took a bite, and proceeded to talk with her mouth full, "Ahmen reawy, Cook, hwat gibs?"

_Thank fuck I speak idiot. Hey… being related to Jase has finally come in handy! _

"What gives is that he's back, Tara, like _really_ back." I couldn't stop the smile that threatened to crack my face, it was so big. "He said he came back for ME. That the only reason he came home was to work things out. Tara, he still loves me, too!" My eyes were starting to tear. I still just couldn't believe it myself. He loved me. Wow!

Jason was just sitting there eyeballing us, with his brows furrowed, chewing away. Well, at least until Tara started to shriek like a maniac and threw herself into my lap again.

"Jesus Christ, woman! You tryin' to wake the dead?" He whined with his finger in his ear, wiggling it about trying to prove his point that Tara was too loud. Unfortunately, he wasn't wrong. She was hella loud! Surely, it didn't help that I was (kinda-sorta) shrieking just a lil' bit too, but since it was my brother doing the bitching I saw no need to own my part. So, I squealed like a shoe-whore at a closeout sale without remorse.

_What?!_ _You'd be happy if you finally got the love of your life back too. Cut a bitch some slack here!_

"You mean he's really back, Sook? Like moving back, single… the whole nine?" my brother asked with calculated calm.

Jason was staring intently at me, rockin' that big brother look (which I begrudgingly appreciated, of course). "Now you know I love Eric like a brother right?" he began before I could answer his original question.

I nodded.

"But that don't mean I won't take his ass to church if he don't watch his step. I know you're the dumbass that broke it off with him before, but I can't have you catatonic again like last time y'all split up," he informed me. He gave me a stern look, and then nodded to himself before shoving half of a slice of pizza in his mouth like a pig, before chewing like a cow. Apparently, he'd said all he needed to on the subject and it was now feeding time at the zoo.

"Thanks Jase, I know. And don't worry, I don't think either of us is planning to let go this time. I think we both know how bad we messed up before, and how long it's taken us to get back to rights. We'll be peachy."

I couldn't describe how true those words felt coming out of my mouth. I knew we'd be okay, knew it with every fiber of my being. The look in his eyes when he looked at me told me he felt the same.

"It's about damn time you two figure this shit out! You've been moping around here since he left with the rent-a-ho." She smirked at me, knowing how I loved that nickname.

"But seriously, Sook, I'm so happy for you guys. It's so good to see you back together! I gotta say though, I'll never forget the look on your face when you saw him tonight!" She burst out laughing, "Girl, you shoulda seen your face. I'd swear that you had shit a Twinkie with the way you looked! Did you check your drawers when you came home?" She snorted (yes, she's a snorter), she was laughing so hard.

"Laugh it up, fuzz ball" I said as I gave her another shove. I was about to give her shit about my brother when Eric came back into the room, effectively ending all coherent thought from me.

He threw four slices of pizza onto his plate, grabbed a fifth, and took a HUGE bite out of it before starting to sit down next to me. Just as he was almost seated, the doorbell rang - again.

_Seriously, what the fuck is going on here tonight_.

"What is this, Grand Central Station?" I griped as he opened the door.

"Hey man, isn't it a bit late for you to be knocking on Sookie's door?" Eric said as he greeted whoever was there.

"What the fuck are _you_ doing here? You have no right to be here, especially at this hour! People would think it _unseemly_. NOW LEAVE!" I heard coming from my demi-stalker.

_Fucking Bill Compton… asshat extraordinaire, who's recently graduated up to creeptacular neighbor._

_Dear God, please don't let me go to jail tonight for murder, even if the world could seriously use one less fuckwaffle!_

"Oh. No. You. DIDN'T!" I leapt up from the couch and headed to the door. I was going to kick his pathetic, deadratsonhisface-sideburn-sporting, little shit! "Who do you think you are, Bill Compton, showing up at my house like this in the middle of the night?! I've told you, you are NOT welcome here!"

"But Sukeh, I was worried when I saw a strange car in your driveway. It is my duty to keep an eye on you." I fucking hated the way he pronounced my name!

_Moron!_

"Duty? To keep an eye on me? Are you fucking kidding me right now?!" the cold laugh that escaped my lips was humorless. "You gave up any rights, duties, responsibilities, and any right to even THINK of me, when you fucked that two bit slut behind my back. You ass clown!"

Eric burst out laughing, "Ass clown! Yup, it suits you Bill."

Up till then he'd just been standing there, eating his pizza and letting me handle my business.

"Sorry, lover. I won't interrupt you again," he vowed, giving me his panty melting smile before resuming the devastation of his pizza.

_Shit, he eats fast! He's already down to his last slice. Take a breath, babe. No need to go all Hoover on it._

"Sukeh, darling, I told you that you misunderstood what was going on with me and Lorena. We were simply trying to figure out if the sex we used to have was compatible. I was not cheating on you! It was simply a scientific experiment!" I was dumbfounded that he would actually try stick with that lame fucking excuse in front of others.

"Is he for fucking real, Sookie?" Eric barked, making me worry he'd choke from laughter. He was laughing so hard, tears were running down his cheeks. "Did he really try to use that as an excuse for cheating?" I could hear Tara and Jason coming up behind us, laughing almost as hard as Eric was.

"Yeah, man, can you believe it? He tried his damndest to tell her and anyone else that would listen that their breakup was Sookie's fault for misinterpreting what she saw." Tara managed to get out between snorts. "Dude, you really are a douche nozzle! Go the fuck home, don't nobody want you here, Beeell." I loved it when she said his name like that, plus it made him bat-shit crazy!

"Well what the fuck is Eric even doing here, Sukeh? He has no right - he's not even supposed to live here anymore. You are MINE! You have no right to entertain other men." He was inching forward, getting closer and closer to my face as he bellowed, "Are you some two bit whore now? Spreading your legs for this asshole again just because he stops back into town? How many others are there, slut? Fuck around on me? _I won't allow it!_ You are MINE!"

"What the _FUCK_ did you just say _to my baby sister_?"

_Oh shit!_

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_**Me thinks Bill's about to get his clock cleaned…**_

_**And 100 points to anyone who knows where "laugh it up, fuzz ball" comes from!**_

_**Thanks for reading and reviewing!**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	13. Chapter 13: Stupid, Stupid

_**Yay to all of you who guessed that Haan said "laugh it up, fuzzball" to Chewy in Star Wars! And for the few of you who guessed family guy – I think you are right, too, because I know they did that SW parody. Great job & thanks for guessing! **_

_**Special thanks to Marebare1979 for "Nerfhearder" - and The Viking Succubus for making me laugh until I cried (sorry for your phone, dear!).**_

_**Sorry the update didn't make it up yesterday. We adopted a puppy this weekend from the local SPCA. She's a shepard/husky mix, 9 weeks and utterly insane. But Zoie is already a huge part of our family – she just took up all my time this weekend.**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters - but, this is unbetaed, so the mistakes I do (sadly) own. The effed up sense of humor? Yeah, that's me too. **_

_**Enjoy…**_

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**SPOV**

_What the fuck did he just say?! _

I wasn't sure which one of us wanted to kill him more as all four of us stopped laughing, both men taking huge steps forward, stalking their prey.

"Now you look here, fuckwad. Sookie doesn't deserve for you to speak to her that way. She's not property, you twit. 'She is mine,' are you fucking kidding me?!" Eric was raging right in Bill's face, causing the coward to shrink backwards (like the rat he is). "Whoever is lucky enough to have Sookie affections should bow down before her and worship her like the goddess she is, not try to possess and control her."

Eric turned to me with the most curious look on his face. "Is this douche for real? What the hell did you ever see in him? He was an asswagon in high school, and from what I can see, it's only gotten worse." He turned back to Bill, "Apologize to Sookie, _now_. And I _suggest_ that you try sounding sincere."

"Fuck that, Eric. This douchwad does not get to apologize to my sister! He doesn't get to SPEAK to her!" Jason shoved Eric aside and got so close to Bill, their noses were touching. "I've had enough of your shit, Bill. You've stalked my sister for months now; peeking in her windows, following her around town. This is your last warning! For your sake, _please_ get off her property and _DO NOT_ come back!" Jason advised, stalking forward and forcing Bill further out the door. "Now, get the fuck to stepping!"

Moving so fast that none of us saw him coming, Bill shoved Jason to the floor and then sucker punched Eric in the mouth. Jason jumped back to his feet and flew through the air like a missile, tackling Bill and sending them both backwards off the front porch.

"I'll call 911!" Tara yelled as she ran back into the house.

"Eric!" I wailed as I lunged for him, desperate to make sure he was okay. "Oh my god, your lip is bleeding!"

_I'm going to fucking annihilate Bill Compton! Ruin THAT face? I think not…_

"Sookie, Sookie! Honey, I'm okay." He gave me a quick hug, "Let me go help Jason, I'll be right back." Eric released me and jumped off the porch.

Jason landed several good punches to Bill's face and torso before standing up and giving him a kick to the ribs for good measure. Perhaps condoning this kind of violence was wrong, but hey, the guy was a complete dick and really deserved a good old fashion ass-whoopin'!

"Poor Billy boy… your right hook is only _slightly_ less pitiful than a twelve year old's." Eric taunted as he picked Bill off the ground his shirt.

"The cops are on their way, guys!" Tara announced as she flew out of the house.

"Now, Billy, what to do…what to do," Eric sneered at our unwelcomed guest. As much as it shouldn't turn me on, seeing Eric all bad-assed was _way_ sexy.

_Come on, you know you'd be drooling a lil' too!_

"Should I kick the ever loving hell out of you? Or… should I save my hands for use on Sookie's _delectable_ body? Because believe me, Billy boy, she absolutely, positively, _loves_ my hands!" Eric smirked at him, lowering Señor Sideburns to his feet.

Conceivably I should have been offended that Eric would talk about our sex life publically to this asshole, but I wasn't. Let that slimy little prick choke on the knowledge that Eric was allowed to touch me everywhere, anytime he wanted.

"Oh honey, _please_ don't hurt those wonderful fingers! I'll be needing those again tonight!"

_Yeah, I said it! _

_And I meant it, too. _

Eric turned and smirked at me, his look plainly stating that I was so in for it later.

_Yay me!_

"See, Billy? The lady needs my fingers _again_ tonight. I guess it's your lucky night. You get to avoid a date with the reconstructive surgeon. Go you!" Eric turned to walk away, but the resident dumbass didn't know when to quit and jumped on my man.

Thanks to Eric's size, Bill's sudden attack didn't knock him to the ground. Instead, Eric caught him, flinging him over his shoulder onto the ground. Bill landed on his back with a tremendous thud (with a very satisfying "oomph"), right before Eric pounced on him.

"You just couldn't walk the fuck away, could you?! You stupid shit!"

Eric proceeded to show Bill precisely why he should have taken the out when he'd been given one.

The cops pulled up just as Eric was getting off the douchetard. Tara, Jason and I were quick to inform Sherriff Andy that it was self defense on both Jason's and Eric's parts. Thankfully no one in town was a Bill fan, and everyone loved Eric - so it was Billy Boy who ended up in cuffs. Too bad he wasn't smart enough to go quietly…

"I could hear you tonight, you little whore. Fucking his brains out! Letting him tie you up like a common slut. What kind of woman are you?! _You should be ashamed_, Sukeh!" Bill was so mad that spittle flew at me as he yelled.

_Wait just a cotton-pickin' minute… Tie… What?!_

"What do you mean tie me up, Bill?! How the fuck would you know what Eric and I were doing earlier?" The realization hit me at the same time it did Eric. He took off around the side of the house like a bat out of hell, swearing the whole way. We didn't have to wait long to see why he'd jackrabbited off.

"Andy, you'd better get over here and see this. That way it's justifiable homicide when I kill that Peeping-Tom mother fucker!" Eric yelled from around the corner.

We followed the sound of Eric's voice; I couldn't help but smile at Andy dragging Bill around like a bitch by the cuffs. I hoped they were painfully tight. When we reach my bedroom window I wanted to vomit.

There was a wooden crate under my window, along with a _very well-worn path_ leading up to it from Bill's property.

The look on Eric's face as he took in the sight before him was terrifying, and said it all. If he got his hands on Bill tonight, I was one hundred percent positive Eric would kill him! I jumped in front of my enraged man and wrapped my arms around his waist, hugging myself tightly to his body.

"Eric, honey, please don't do anything foolish, he can't hurt me now! Andy's got him, and won't be letting him go anytime soon. Right Andy?" I turned my head to Andy, looking for some backup. He nodded, barely looking up from the path and perch. He seemed to be lost in thought, all his attention on the evidence in front him.

Finally Andy looked up at me. "Sookie, you've got nothing to worry about here. This is all the evidence we need to finally put this piece of shit away for stalking you. I'm sorry we couldn't nail his ass before, but we've got him now!" he apologized as he grabbed his radio from his belt and called for backup; the scene needed to be photographed, and statements taken.

"Finally nail him?" Eric looked down at me with fire in his eyes, "I tink you have some splaining to do, Lucy."

"Yes, Desi," I giggled.

_And apparently, filing for that restraining order everyone's been yappin' about is also something I must do…_

"It's just one more thing we need to talk about honey, another thing to add to the list." I said, trying to lift his spirits. "I'll tell you all about it, don't worry."

"Don't you worry 'bout it, man. We'll all fill you in. She can't make light of this shit anymore if we're all here to rat her ass in." Jason said, with Tara nodding beside him.

"What do you mean you have enough to nail me?! I've done nothing wrong here! Sookie is _MINE_, and it's my duty to look after her." Bill sneered at Andy. "This Neanderthal has no right to my Sookie, he shouldn't have come back!"

Everyone erupted into a chorus of Bill bashing.

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on everybody! Bill has a point here!" My brother began, causing us to look at Jason like he'd suddenly sprouted a second head. "Now, Bill, you were only looking out for Sookie's best interests, right? It's not like you were spying on her out here. You were just protecting your interests, right? You only set this up and watched in her window to keep her safe. Isn't that right, Bill?"

"What the fuck are you talking about, Jason?!" I yelled, getting set to kick the shit out of him. And had Eric not tightened his grip on me, I might have.

"Jason's right, lover. Bill was only doing what he thought was best. I'm sure that's why he bugged your house, too. Isn't it, Bill?"

I looked up at Eric, certain he'd lost his fucking mind! I could tell by the look in his eyes that he was up to something, the question was _what_?!

_Why would he be sticking up for Bill?_

"That's right! Eric, Jason, I'm so glad you both understand. I only put surveillance devices in the kitchen, her bedroom, the bathroom and the living room. You know, the most used rooms in the house. Just to look after her, mind you," he offered as he turned toward Andy. "I was only trying to protect what's mine. I was being a gentleman, making her safe. I'm not some common pervert."

And, the proverbial light bulb went off above my head like a Maglite!

_My two Mensa-types just got that slimeball to admit to not only peeping, but illegally bugging my house! _

"You bugged my fucking house?! You piece of shit, scumbag, sick son of a bitch!" I lunged at Bill, but Eric caught me before I could kill him.

Andy smiled at my brother, "Jason Fucking Stackhouse! You little genius! I didn't know ya had it in you, boy!"

"Thanks a whole hell of a lot, Andy!" My brother flipped him the bird, laughing. "You know you want it. Looks like this, and brains too? I'm a right good catch!"

Andy turned toward Eric, ignoring the idiocy that was my brother, "How did you know he bugged the place, man? Did you find one?"

Eric shook his head, smiling, "Nah, I just guessed and hoped for the best."

_My man, ladies and gentlemen – dirty-talking sex god, and cunning genius-type, all in one edible package!_

Andy's backup finally arrived to cart Bill off to jail. Kenya stayed to take statements, while Andy took the pictures. By the time we were done with our statements and the cops finally left, it was four in the morning.

"Jason, Tara, you guys can stay here if you want tonight. I'll cook us all a huge breakfast when we get up tomorrow. But y'all better fuckin' sleep in!" I advised, only half kidding.

"Oh, and take the bedroom that's as far away from ours as possible!" Eric added with a smirk.

"What the fuck, dude? That's my little sister you're talkin' 'bout!" Jason pushed Eric, shaking his head. "But that probably is a good idea… Tara gets rather loud when the Stackinator is in action!" Eric and I couldn't help but crack up.

_I've said it before, and I'll say it again - my brother a horse's ass! _

_But, at lease he always comes through in a pinch!_

We went into the house and started picking up the living room; Tara and I got the rest of the pizza put away while Eric and Jason quickly washed up the dishes. Anyone who knew me knows that I hate going to bed with dirty dishes in my sink.

_I know, I know, it's a thing. But, it's MY thing, and I'm good with it. I'd rather be OCD than pigish._

No one except for Jason was scheduled to work tomorrow and now that he'd decided to take a personal day, we were all free to sleep in. It had been way too long of a night and we were all spent. Just as we were heading toward our respective rooms, that friggin' doorbell rang!

Again.

_Seriously, what the fuck did I do to deserve this?!_

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_**Okay… now that I'm getting further into this story, I'm remembering how bizarre it really is. This is now officially my therapy story. This is not an earth-shattering plot-type story, but I'm just starting to remember how truly outrageous and fun it really was/is. **_

_**We're in for a lot of cliffhangers (if memory serves), and some truly crazy shit – but, it should be a fun ride. And this time, I'll actually finish it! LOL! No, really – I promise, I will!**_

_**Marebare1979 has left me many wonderful reviews, but none have topped the one she gave for my most recent chapter of "Wrecked" tonight – and I just had to share a snippet of it. There is no greater praise for a writer than to hear that your work is getting better with time; that you are evolving. Thank you, Mare, for such kind words! **_

"_It's been a while since your last chapter (that's not a criticism… wait  
I'm going somewhere) and in its absence you've been constantly up dating  
your other story Revelry, your style and dialogue has improved leaps and  
bounds, now don't take that as me putting you down you always told  
interesting stories but going back to your first story I can read the green in  
your words. I think I've said that before but having read them next to each  
other really shows how epic you are becoming!"_

_**Thanks for reading!**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	14. Chapter 14: What Now!

_**Sorry for the delay in posting and review responses. I've been without my computer and internet for a LONG, LONG, LONG TIME now! Can we say "batshit crazy" without my internet?! **_

_**Holy balls… how did we ever survive before its invention?!**_

_****I've had the extreme honor of working with our girl, Ali989969 on her new story: "**__**Maison du Phénix"! It's in the Harry Potter fandom and is a Draco/Hermione story. I can't tell you how good it is! We all know what a fantastic writer she is from her amazing Eric/Sookie stories, but I highly recommend this new story. It's alternate universe & simply brilliant. Please, check it out and give her some love – it would make her day. ****_

_**Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, alerted or favorited this lil' guy. Y'all make my day!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters - but, this is unbetaed, so the mistakes I do (sadly) own. The effed up sense of humor? Yeah, that's me too. **_

_**Enjoy…**_

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**SPOV**

No one aside from Tara, and occasionally Jason, had been in my house for months and now it was teeming with people.

_Seriously, what the fuck is going on here tonight?_

It was as if there was a sign out front advertising free room and board, or candy-coated hookers, or some shit!

_Can't a girl just fuck the shit out of her true love in peace?! For one night? Really?! _

Eric had gone to answer the door with Jason right behind him, a look of steely fire on both their faces. The door barely opened a crack before Jason slammed it shut in our mystery guest's face, bitching as he walked away, "Oh no, fuck no! No fucking way. Not tonight!"

Eric was standing there laughing hysterically when the door flew open.

"Where is my Bill, you fucking hussy?" Lorena screeched as she catapulted herself at me.

There was no time to protect myself as she slammed forward, knocking me to the floor with a thud. Tara tore her off me, sending her flying into the banister of the stairs. My chest heaved and my eyes pricked. That nutty bitch had knocked the wind clean out of me.

"Sookie! Why can't you breathe!?"

Eric dropped to his knees at my side looking panic stricken as he pulled my head into his chest, rocking me slightly. I nodded my head, trying to smile up at him through my gasping breaths as I mouthed that she'd knocked the wind from me, pacifying him slightly.

"What did you to with _my_ Bill, bitch? I heard on the scanner that he's been arrested! ARRESTED. For stalking _you_!" she scoffed. "As if he'd want your lowly hick ass, when he's got me!" she wailed, throwing herself against Tara in a futile attempt to reach me.

"I'll call the fuzz this time, guys." Jason said, pulling out his cell. "Seriously, Sook, what the fuck?! Is it always like this at night? Or did Prince Charming here bring drama central with him?" he asked, smirking at Eric.

Eric gave Jase the bird over his shoulder, his eyes never leaving mine. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm good now that I've finally got my breath back." I sat up, asking Eric to help me stand. Once I was upright, I turned to face the piece of trash that broke up Bill and I.

_For which I will be forever grateful in retrospect, just so we're clear._

"Lorena, you idiot troll, I did nothing _to_ Bill. He got arrested for coming here uninvited tonight and attacking Eric. Then the stupid fuck admitted to not only stalking me _and_ peeping in my windows, but to bugging my goddamn house as well as."

I gently pushed Tara aside and backhanded that crazy bitch, hard. Hard enough that for a split second, I worried I'd broken her neck. Her head whipped to the side and hit the banister.

_Whoops_!

"I owe you a thank you, Lorena, for being such a dirty slut and fucking my boyfriend. You being a first class pig allowed me to be single when my Eric came back to town. So thank you, I can't tell you what a favor you've done me!"

Andy didn't even bother to knock, "Sookie, what the hell is going on around here tonight? It's not a full moon or nothin', right?! The crazies are out tonight like flies on shit." We gave him a quick rundown on what Lorena did and as he was about to cuff her, kismet struck.

"You have no right to arrest Bill for bugging this whore's house! My daddy gave him the devices at my insistence. He needed my help. He had to keep an eye on his possessions." Lorena pleaded with Andy.

"Possessions? Bill never lived here, Lorena. What possessions could he possibly have here?" I was genuinely confused.

"Sook, don't you see? This stupid bitch," Jas cackled as he motioned to Lorena, "didn't even know that the 'possession' he wanted to keep an eye on was YOU!" He was laughing so hard that he'd doubled over. "Whorena, you silly twat, Bill bugged the house because 'Sookie is HIS!' And _you_ helped him to pine away for my sister like a love-sick coonhound!" He actually used air quotes, and I loved him all the more for it.

"Jason baby, you may not always be the brightest bulb in the box, but honey when you shine, you're a supernova," Tara said as she grabbed his face, planting one hell of a kiss on him.

Judging by his expression, Jason was unsure as to whether that was a compliment or not, but any shot he had at clarification flew out the window when Lafayette, Eggs and Pam burst through the door.

"Hooka, you had better tell me what the fuck happened up in here tonight, before I start beating some heads in!" Lafayette stomped towards me. He obviously hadn't noticed Eric yet. "I'm telling you right now, bitch…"

And then the squealing started.

Lafayette started clapping as he squealed, and jumped onto Eric. Thank God for my man's fast reflexes, otherwise Laf would've ended up on his ass!

"Oh, be still my heart!" Laf began fanning himself when Eric let him down. "Baby boy! When did you get back to town? And why didn't you call me, you dirty, dirty ho!" He slapped Eric in the arm playfully. "You know I've missed you! You never call," he pouted as he batted his eyelashes at a blushing Eric.

Eggs cleared his throat (none too subtly, mind you) and wrapped his arm around Lafayette's waist. "Baby, you trying to make me jealous here?" Eggs cooed in Laf's ear.

"Oh sugar pie, you know I got eyes for no one but you! This here is Sookie's Eric. I've been trying to turn him for years, but he only has eyes for this bitch." Laf pointed at me flamboyantly, "Shame really, he's one fine mother fucker!"

"Okay, that's it boys. No more gazing at my man like a fat man eying a donut! What the hell are all y'all doing here?! It's five-mother fucking-thirty in the morning!"

Before anyone could explain, Pam walked up and slapped Eric across the face. "What the fuck, Eric?! You come home after all these years, and don't even stop to see your baby sister first? You run right to Sookie?! Eric, you're a heartless dick!" She turned to look at me and smiled, "Hello, Sookie dear, by the way."

"Pamela, do shut the fuck up, please! I'll take you shopping later this week, will all be forgiven then?" Eric rolled his eyes at his baby sister, knowing the way to her heart was designer shoes, bags, clothes…well, designer anything, really.

"Yes, yes I believe it will!" Her eyes lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. "But it's going to cost you dear brother, you've wounded me!"

At this point, I'd fucking had it – with everything. All I wanted was some time to reconnect with Eric. That was all! Now it seemed I was running a home for wayward asstards.

_Nope…not fucking working for me!_

"Okay, kiddies, here's the fucking deal. I'm tired, I want to fuck my boyfriend, and all y'all are preventing it. So basically, no matter how much I love y'all – you either need to get the fuck out, or go the fuck to sleep!"

I grabbed Eric's hand and started heading towards our room. "Now, whoever is still here in the morning, I'll make you breakfast, but not too damn early!" That needed to be made clear. "Whoever is _not_ staying, get the fuck out quick-like and lock up when you leave. Goodnight all!"

Eric was snickering behind me. "Lover, you're fucking amazing!" He chuckled as he grabbed my hips. "All the shit that's gone on here tonight and you announce that you want to fuck your boyfriend. I didn't think it was possible for you to turn me on more than you already do, and yet…"

I couldn't help but laugh, he was totally right.

_I'm crazy! _

But I was also in love, and had missed him for too long!

"Lover, as much as I truly want to ravish you again, I really think we need to talk. Are you up for it?" He kissed the back of my neck after shutting the bedroom door.

"Yes, Eric. I'd like to avoid any confusion for our future, so let's get things figured out as soon as possible, okay. We'll lay everything out on the table this time – no secrets, no lies, no avoidance or fear." I turned to face him and kissed the cleft in his chin gently.

_God, if you're listening, please let us be on the same page here! I can't lose him again!_

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_**Well, looks like these two are finally going to have their talk – which now has to include crazy old Bill…should be interesting to see where this goes.**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	15. Chapter 15: A Full House

_****Okay… So, this chapter is an odd mix of tenses due to Jason's hilarity. Changing this too much took away far too much of what makes this Jason wonderful to me. Hope y'all still love him. ****_

_**Thanks to everyone who's read, reviewed, alerted or favorited this lil' guy. Y'all make my day!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters - but, this is unbetaed, so the mistakes I do (sadly) own. The effed up sense of humor? Yeah, that's me too. **_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**Jason POV**_

Andy had left quietly with that batshit whorebag, right after Sookie's little speech; Lorena would be charged with trespassing, illegal surveillance, and assault, to name a few. Our boy Andy was lookin' mighty hard for any other charges that he could make stick.

Sook's tirade was just too fucking funny! She was so danged fired up that I doubt she realized Andy and Lorena were still standing there when she announced that it was time for her to fuck Eric.

_Huh, she must really need a good dickin'._

_Wait. Just. A fucking. Minute…_

_WHAT THE FUCK did I just think about my baby sister?! _

The visuals of those two getting down with some hot monkey love were enough to my dick go slummin' in Limpnoodleville for the rest of the night. Morning… whatfuckingever!

_You get the point. Visuals are bad for the Stackinator!_

_Brain bleach… where's the brain bleach! _

_I'll save ya my man…_

What the fuck happened around here tonight? Did I enter some fucked up alternate reality, or some shit?

_And yes, I know what that is – you fuckers. I might be more pretty than smart, but I'm not completely fucking retarded! _

_Jeesh! _

_Listen - I have to tell you; when you're this fucking pretty and women think you're not too smart… well, they fall all over your ass! Now granted, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but I'm not as dumb as I act, either. _

Anyway, all I wanted tonight was to come have some much needed food and chat-time with my little sis and one of my very best friends. Not too much to ask for, in my humble opinion. But nooo… that fuckwad Compton just had to ruin it.

_But boy oh boy, was kickin' his pansy ass a grand ole time._

Then fucking Lorena showed up. That was one crazy-ass bitch! And homely too. I don't even know how to describe her. She's all gangly and manly…

_She's a she-beast, that's what she is! No feminine curves, she's too tall and lanky – she's just fucking scary, okay?! My dick does an about-face and tries to crawl back up inside me every time I see that fugly bitch! _

_I swear I hear him screaming "HIDE ME" whenever he sees her! Then he turns himself inside out to go hide, giving me a goddamn va-jay-jay, for fuck's sake! _

_She makes me wanna cry, man! Like curl up in a ball, thumb-sucking with my woobie, cry._

_Shit ain't right!_

I'd fucked some questionable bitches in my drunken hazes, but I could be dead and still know better than to fuck that hideous twatface!

_But enough about the ass-faced dog girl… _

Somehow it was a fucking full house 'round here, and it wasn't even my fucking house! I had no idea how Sook could stand this, there were bodies everywhere. Lafayette and that fucking faker Eggs, plus Pam, had crashed the party.

Eggs could go get poached, or scrambled, for all I gave a fuck. Damn charlatan, trying to come between me and my woman. Pam, however, she could stay anytime. That girl was some nummylicious eye-candy! Unfortunately, she was more likely to fuck Tara than me.

_And, unless I get to: (a) watch and (b) play too – I don't want her anywhere near my Tara! That pussy is mine, and out of commission for all other players, thank you very fucking much! _

_My 'team player' days ended with high school, man…_

Anyway, it turned out that Lafayette and Eggs had heard about the fucking Compton mess on their scanner, and that was why they showed up. Pam, it turned out, just had good timing. She was on her way home from her latest "conquest" (her words, not mine), when she saw Eric's car in the driveway and the cops out front.

I was broken out of my musings (yes… I know what that means too, you mean ole fuckers) by Lafayette's big mouth.

"Okay, you mother fuckers, somebody better start telling this bitch what the fuck went down 'round these parts before I throw a hissy up in here!"

"Keep your dress on, bitch," Tara scolded her flamboyant cousin.

_Yup, I know that one too! It's amazing how many 'big' words this dumb redneck knows, ain't it?! _

So, as I puttered back to the fridge for another slice, Tara filled the rest of the gang in on the craziness that was the Stackhouse farmhouse tonight. Pam didn't believe for a second that I was the one that got Bill to cop to being a peeping Tom. But of course, there was no doubt in her pea-sized mind that Eric was the "genius" that thought of the bugs.

_Pain in the ass, spoiled rotten, pussy loving, don't know what she's missing, bitch! Thank god I love that hooker like a sister, or I'd be forced to kick her ass! _

_Hell, if I was still single, I'd fuck her into submission. _

_Take a ride on the Stackinator, honey, and you'll see the light…_

"Laugh it up, Pammy, you're just jealous that I'm prettier and get more pussy than you!"

_Yeah, I said it – I couldn't resist. _

"Says the man who calls his little worm 'the Stackinator'… Jason, you silly boy, I'm quite sure you're not getting anything I'd want. No offense, Tara, sweetness, you know I'd love to show you what you're missing. But unfortunately for both of us, you're stuck on this asshat," she waved her hand dismissively at me while leering at Tara.

Tara ignored her comments and focused on getting the rest of the story told. While Tara got Lafayette and Pam caught up to speed, I noticed Eggs eyeballing me cautiously.

"What, man?! You got somethin' you gotta say?"

_What?! _

_I know I'm a dick sometimes. I hear what comes out of my mouth. _

_But, he's getting on my fucking nerves, staring at me like that! _

_I mean, what the fuck, man?!_

"Sorry for staring, Jason," Eggs said quietly. "I feel bad about earlier tonight, even though it seems to have helped you and Tara. I hope that you can forgive me, and maybe we can get along."

_Well, umm… oookay. Not what I was expectin', but… _

"Listen, man, it's all good. She made her point, and truth is that I love the hell outta that crazy bitch. I don't want to lose her. So we're cool." I shook his hand as I added, "But good gravy you came close to getting your fucking ass whooped tonight!"

I seriously wanted to fucking kill him earlier, touching my girl like that! Though, I had to admit, I wasn't too fucking happy with her either for playing me like that. But, in any case, her point was taken and now we were officially a couple.

_So no harm, no foul, I guess._

"Oh, baby, you keep sayin' sweet shit like that, and you can call your dick anything you want. No matter how stupid it is," she cooed as she patted my leg, fairly close to said dick. "That was one of the sweetest things you've ever said. You're learning, my man."

A little higher there, sweetcheeks. Just a little higher…

She leaned in and whispered, "Besides, you use that dick so good, I'll tattoo 'Stackinator' on my forehead if you keep sweet talking like that."

_Note to self, nice words get you more ass… _

"Okay, it's way too late to be up y'all. At least if you're not getting laid, anyway. So y'all either gotta get the fuck out, or go the fuck to sleep."

_Yeah, I know… Sook and I have the same manners sometimes, but what can I say? I wanna fuck the shit outta my girl right now!_

"_Mission: Drown Stackinator in Tara juice" is a go._

Everyone decided to stay, which truly made me feel better after the fuckedupness that was tonight. These fuckers could get on my nerves at times, but they were all family (well, except Eggs, that is), and I hated the thought of any of them driving with the way the cosmos seemed to be aligning tonight.

_Really? _

_Yes… I know what the fucking cosmos are._

_Bastards!_

I led everyone upstairs, not bothering to spend time going over the accommodations (they'd all been here before).

_If they can't' find shit after all this time, it's their fucking problem. _

_And yes, you bastards, I know what accommodations is too! What the fuck do y'all think of me anyway?! _

_WAIT! _

_Don't you fucking answer that! _

_Fuckers…_

Now that the sleeping shit was all figured out, I all but dragged Tara to my old room like the caveman I was.

"Let me show you, baby, what your sweet talking tongue makes me want to do to you," Tara said seductively as soon as our door was shut. "Let me show you how hot you make me when you're so sweet to me."

Here I was thinking I'd spend the whole night limp after those random thoughts about Sookie and Eric earlier, but my girl and her hot little mouth had my dick at granite status again. I wasn't two steps into the room before she was on her knees, prying my cock from my jeans.

_Noodle status, I laugh in your general direction!_

_Bwahahaaaaa._

_The Stackinator shoots…he scores!_

_Holy, fuck. I'm such a dork…_

_But she loves me anyway._

_God, how I love this woman! _

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_**Hey, he may be an ass clown, but he's our loveable little ass clown. I figured it would be nice to see what happened when Sookie and Eric went to bed.**_

_**I was recently asked why I don't ask for reviews at the end of my chapters…the person actually wondered if maybe I didn't want them. YES! Lol, I love reviews! I just don't want to have to ask for them every chapter. So, let me clear this up – I love to hear from you! I welcome suggestions, comments, and criticism, all of it. I love to hear from my readers, and try very hard to get back to them quickly. I thank those of you who are my regular reviewers – your thoughts mean the world to me, thanks for being faithful and sticking with me during my long absences. **_

_**So, please feel free to leave reviews or PM me! I truly love to hear from you in any fashion. But I will probably never ask at the end of each chapter. I may change my mind over time on that, I may not – god only knows with me – me and my muses are fickle bitches! Lol (This AN was from the original posting – but I wanted to leave it to make sure that you know I love hearing from you!)**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	16. Chapter 16: The Talk

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**SPOV**_

I couldn't believe how nervous I was even though I knew I was being stupid. He still loved me. He'd told me so barely more than two hours ago, so why the hell was I so nervous?

_Oh, right… he's the love of my life, and I'll crawl up my own ass and die if he changes his mind._

_That's why._

Eric and I sat on the bed facing each other, hand in hand.

"Lover, I agree with what you said completely. No secrets, no lies, no avoidance or fear. I think that's what we need to base our relationship on from here on out." The look on his face told me he wanted confirmation of my agreement so I nodded slightly, smiling at him.

"Now, in the spirit of our new credo, I must tell you something," and instantly my stomach lurched and I was swallowing back bile.

"I meant what I said to you earlier: Sophie was never more that a distraction from you. Sookie, my love, there really is no way anyone could ever replace you."

He lifted my hand up and gave a gentle kiss to each knuckle as he looked deeply into my eyes and whispered, "I'm yours, Sook, mind, body and soul. This is it for me, you know. I'm not letting you go, not again."

My heart was racing and I began to wonder if I'd either drop dead, or pass out from happiness. "Eric, I can't express how sorry I am for how I let you go before; not just for how I treated you, which was appalling by the way, but for letting you go at all. I've been so fucking unhappy without you!"

I could feel the waterworks starting, but I wasn't sure I could stop it. "Don't think I'm nuts or anything, but nothing's felt quite right since you left." I smiled weakly at him as the tears rolled down my cheeks.

"No, lover, I don't think you're nuts. Not at all! And please don't cry, I hate it when you cry," he begged as he wiped away my tears with his thumbs. "I haven't been quite right without you either. I've been a fucking mess really, totally lost without you."

I scrambled into his lap, holding hands simply wasn't close enough for me now. "So is it safe to assume we're officially a couple again? Like, an exclusive couple? Because, Eric, I don't want to see anybody else. Now that I have you back, there's no one else I could possible want."

_It's true… no fucking way do I want anyone else touching me now. And yeah, I know we basically said we were exclusive earlier, but I really needed to hear the words. _

_Like out loud._

_NOW!_

"Oh, thank god, Sookie! I honestly don't think I could control myself if I saw you with someone else. I'd end up in jail for beating the shit outta them. And yeah, I know I'm a Neanderthal, but I can't help it," he admitted as he crushed me to his chest, "And no, I can't imagine having anyone else's hands on me now. I've spent too long pretending everyone else was you for that shit, and now that I've got you there's no way any other female will touch me. I promise you this!"

"Oh, I know, Eric. I would never worry about you cheating once we agree to be exclusive, it's just not who you are."

Eric was a lot of things, but a cheat would never be one of them. We'd fight on occasion, we'd have amazing make up sex, and then we'd go on about our daily lives. We'd be happy together, and I'd never have to worry about where he was at night; he'd always come home to me.

_Uhhh…_

"Eric, now that you're back, where will you be living?"

_I know it's too soon for this, but damn it I want him here with me._

I could feel him smiling as he kissed the top of my head. "Well, I was planning to crash in my old room at my parent's house… do _you_ have any suggestions for where I should hang my hat?" The hopeful look on his face told me that wasn't too soon. In fact, it seemed to be the perfect time to ask him to live here.

_What the hell… No guts, no glory. Right?!_

I kissed his chest softly as I whispered, "Yes, as a matter of fact, I do. I think your hat would look great hanging here, in any room you choose – just as long as you're here, with me." I was pretty sure I was going to throw up.

_God, if you're listening, please don't let him say no… _

"Oh, Sookie!" he breathed as he crushed me to him me to him. "I would love nothing more than to hang my hat here with you."

We fell into a comfortable silence, both of us lost in the moment as he rocked us gently. I couldn't believe it. He was actually going to move in with me! I was blown away, yet had never been happier in my life. I wondered if he wanted to move right in, or if he'd want to wait just a little while?

_Well, no way to get answers if you don't ask the question. _

I turned my face to look up at him, and his eyes were all watery.

_Shit, is he going to cry? _

"Honey, what's wrong?" I asked as I turned towards him, grasping his face in my hands.

He averted his eyes from mine, clearing his throat roughly, "Nothing's wrong. Why?"

I held his face a little firmer, and waited until he made eye contact with me. I didn't say anything; I just gave him a very pointed look.

"Nothing is wrong, Sookie," he said firmly, telling me he thought this subject was closed.

_Huh... Well, he's wrong!_

"Eric, no more hiding. Right?"

"Would telling you that I'm allergic to something… _anything_, work?" I shook my head no, giggling quietly.

"Oh, hell," he sighed loudly before continuing. "At the risk of losing my man card, I'm just a bit overwhelmed at the moment."

"If it's too soon, Eric, we can wait." I wanted to cry myself as I offered up that little tidbit, but if it was what he wanted then that was what we'd do. No question.

"Sookie, my sweet, wonderful girl. I don't want to wait," he said before kissing my forehead softly. "I'm really just a little overwhelmed is all, but I mean that in the best possible way."

He smiled at me as two fat tears rolled down his beautiful face, "I had all these plans, you see, and I imagined all the different ways I'd have to fight to get you back. It's a huge relief to know that all I had to do was show up."

"Yeah, I'm easy like that," I laughed, smiling hugely at him. "Just don't go thinking I'm at your beck and call, buddy boy."

_He hates it when I call him that. _

"You're not my beck and call girl, got it? Smartass." He laughed, kissing my lips briefly. "I really think I would have left my shit in the U-haul, sitting right in my parent's front yard, until you agreed to let me move in here. Truly, sweetheart, I have no intention of ever letting you go again. I'm talking long term here," he vowed with a serious look.

My heart kicked into double time. Long term?

_Is he saying what I think he is? _

"Eric…" I whispered, not knowing quite what to say next...

_How do you ask someone if they're proposing to you?_

"I'm not asking you today, Sook. But someday, I will. I mean it, baby, I want it all with you. Marriage, house, white picket fence, two point five kids… the whole nine yards. You're it for me," he swore before claiming my lips again.

"I even have a bag of clothes and toiletries in my trunk, just in case I did find you tonight and convinced you to give me another chance," he admitted as he began nibbling on my chin. He gave me his best panty-poofing smile as he pleaded, "Please don't think I'm a stalker like Billy boy, I was simply planning on doing everything possible to make you mine again."

"You know, if it was anyone but you saying it, I'd be pretty pissed about this mine shit. And I _should_ be creeped out by the bag in your trunk thing, but I've got to say, on you – ultra-possessive caveman is fucking_ hot_!"

_What?! It's true. _

_On him, everything is fucking hot!_

"So when do you want me to move in, baby?" he asked, his face like stone. Only the slight quiver in his voice betrayed him.

I kissed his chin, then his nose, and finally his luscious lips before whispering "Would right this fucking minute be too soon?" The passionate kiss he laid on me said I'd given him the answer he'd been hoping for.

When he finally released me from the fuckhot make out session, I was breathless and more than a little horny. But unfortunately there was still something we needed to discuss, the part I'd been dreading.

"Eric, honey, we had sex tonight. Several times, unprotected. I was recently tested and haven't had sex since, so I know we're good with STDs on my end. I also got back on the pill almost a month ago, so I hope it'll be effective against pregnancy, but there are no guarantees," I admitted, grimacing at my uncertainty.

"What about you? Do you know if you're clean?" I hated that I had to ask him. I was sure he'd never do anything to intentionally jeopardize me, but I still had to be sure.

_I mean, it's my life we're talking about here… even if I wasn't smart enough to worry about it __**before**__ we got busy!_

"Yes, my love, I'm clean. I had a few random flings after Sophie and I split, but that was eons ago and I've been tested since. I know I'm good." He kissed my nose and smiled at me, "And don't look so guilty! We're both grown-ups here, Sook, and neither one of us worried enough about this beforehand. You'll be having my babies someday anyway, so the timing is irrelevant. I love you, I'm here with you, I'm going to marry you and be the father of your kids someday. Everything else is just about timing and details, my love."

_And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen…the complete ruination of Sookie Stackhouse!_

If I thought I was in love before, I was sorely mistaken. What I was feeling for this man now threatened to explode my heart. I never knew it was possible to love someone so much.

"I love you, Eric. So, so much!" I couldn't stop the yawn that escaped me as I began kissing his neck and chest.

I felt his body rumbling with his silent laughter, "Lover, I think it's time for us to sleep now. There are many, many days ahead of us for ravaging, but for now we need to rest."

He gathered me up and helped remove my clothes before taking away his. When I cocked an eyebrow at him in question of us getting naked when he claimed to want to sleep, he shrugged at me and smirked.

"We may need to get some sleep right now but make no mistake, my love, I won't tolerate anything between us."

He crawled into bed next to me and pulled the covers up around us. I turned so that my back was against his chest and sighed with relief when he drew me in so that not even air separated us.

"Besides, my delectable little one, tomorrow is a new day. I get to wake up beside you for the first time in many, many years. Once my dick and I are up… your ass is MINE! Clothes will only slow me down when I'm trying to bury my cock inside you – and we can't have that, can we?"

_Yup, if I had panties on right now they'd be gone. POOF! _

_If I wasn't dead tired, I'd climb his yummy ass like a tree - like right now…_

"Welcome home, Eric. I've missed you so, so much." I said as I closed my eyes. I couldn't believe all my dreams were finally coming true. I was terrified I'd awake to find that this was all in my mind.

"Goodnight, my only love, it's so good to be home."

The last thing I felt were his lips softly kissing my neck, and then I drifted away. Dead to the world.

At peace, _true_ peace, for the first time in so many years.

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_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	17. Chapter 17: The Morning After

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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_**EPOV**_

Waking up next to my Sookie was a dream come true! We were tangled up in skin and damn near surgically attached to one another, and yet it was nowhere near close enough. I was positive I could be buried inside her twenty-four-seven, and I still wouldn't be satisfied.

We had gone to bed with me spooning in behind her and practically pulling her through me. We must've rolled in our sleep, because I was now looking down at my angel as she slept with her head resting in the crook of my arm. She smelled amazing; it was a mix of honeysuckle, vanilla, and something just uniquely Sookie. I kissed her forehead gently, not wanting to wake her just yet.

_I'm fucking home!_ _I still can't believe it. _

I had a hundred and one plans, daydreams, hopes, etc., about how meeting up with her again would go. All of them, of course, ended up with us declaring our love and then spending all night proving it to one another. But never in my wildest dreams had I expected things to go as perfectly as they had. That douche bag Compton and his turbo slut aside, it was as if the stars had aligned (or some shit) to bring us back together.

_I know I sound like a giant pussy right now, but ask me if I give a fuck?! _

_Wait… nope, not a single fuck given here…_

I must have done something right in a past life for me to be this damn lucky now. Not only did I somehow win back the girl of my dreams, but I was moving my shit in later today.

_Fucking pinch me. _ _No way is this really happening… I can't possibly be this fucking lucky! _

My parents were going to shit a brick when they heard! My dad had made it clear, on multiple occasions, that I was a "fucking ignorant knucklehead" because of my situation with Sookie. The first time I earned my nickname was when I wouldn't take her calls, then it was given again when I moved in with Sophie, and finally when I was "goddamn dumb enough to think she'd have anything to do with my ignorant, knuckleheaded ass" after I came back.

_Yup, he's got a way with words. Such a charmer, my pop._

_Anyway…_

My mom was beyond thrilled I'd finally come home to fix things with "that darling young lady."

_Which she then always follows up with how "Sookie is far superior to that slatternly trash that I'd taken up with." _

Of course, my mom was right, but still… who wanted to be told by their mother what a fuck up they were for choosing a whore over the love of their life?

_Not this little black duck, thank you very much! _

_Yeah, I'm a Daffy Duck fan…so?! _

_Sookie's got her Star Wars, and I'm a Looney Toons kinda guy… it's a thing, but it works for us._

_Us… We're really an 'us' again. Holy hell!_

I wasn't kidding last night when I'd said that I would've kept my shit in the moving van until she let me move in; I really would have. I'd come back here for her. Peroid. Nothing else was going to work for me. Neanderthal, caveman - call me what you would, but she was home to me. So now to make my world complete, I just had to wake up my sleeping beauty at some point, grab Jase, and go get my shit!

How would I bring up the ring though? When was too soon? I knew in my head that this was all a bit premature, but my heart I wanted to solder a ring to her finger, marry her today, and publicly brand her as mine.

_Minemineminemineminemine! _

_Caveman? _

_You bet your sweet ass, I am. But I'm totally good with that! _

When I called my mom to tell her I was moving back, the first thing she said was, "Can I get Nanna's ring for you yet?" I think she was almost as anxious for me to marry Sookie as I was.

_Almost__. _

Maybe that was because mom had expected me to give it to Sook right before Adele passed away. I had been planning for months, setting up the perfect night to ask her for her hand in marriage. I'd made reservations at the most beautiful bed and breakfast on a vineyard in California (Sookie loved wine, and had always wanted to see the vineyards out west), and had planned every last detail, right down to having them put the ring in her wine glass. But the night before we were to leave, Adele passed away.

_The rest they say is history._

_But none of it matters now, we're back together and I'll get it right this time!_

The ring was really quite beautiful; an antique, large, oval opal, surrounded by diamonds. It had been passed down for generations to the women of my family from my great-great grandmother on my mother's side. When had Pam decided that she didn't want it since she was gay, she'd suggested to our mother that I would benefit more from the family heirloom. Now it was mine to give to my Sookie.

That was the promise of our family's ring – it was to be given only to the one who completed you. That one person that once you'd found them, living without them would be simply unendurable. Well, that defined my relationship with Sook precisely. From the moment our lips met that first time, I'd known she was the only one for me. Forever.

So the ring now sat at the bottom of the bag inside my trunk, just waiting for me to give it to my girl. I was thinking maybe I'd pop the question on Halloween, seeing as Sook loved that crazy holiday so much. Or maybe sometime before Christmas?

_But… _

_I've been around enough women to know that giving an engagement ring for Christmas is considered a "cop out" by most. The ring shouldn't be a present, it's a promise. A promise of love, friendship, faith and commitment._

_Yeah, okay. Point taken…propose __**on**__ Christmas equals bad. _

_Before, okay. After, okay. ON… very bad._

_Got it. _

I'd lain in bed long enough that my bladder was screaming at me, and as much as I hated to do it, I had to get up. I kissed her forehead once more and detangled myself from both her scrumptious body and the friggin sheets. I grabbed the top blanket, wrapped it around myself and headed to take care of business. There was no noise in the rest of the house, so I figured everyone must still be asleep.

Once I was finished in the bathroom, I quietly grabbed my keys from my jeans and tiptoed through the house. I unlocked the car with the remote key and scurried to the trunk to grab my bag.

_Yes. I said scurry. And you would too if you were a 6' 4" man wrapped in a bright pink, foo-foo blanket! _

Pam's car was still out front, as was what I could only assume was Lafayette's. So obviously we still had a full house this morning, which was great in my opinion. Not only was more the merrier, but the extra bodies provided more protection from the craziness that had overtaken Sookie's world in the last twenty-four hours.

I got back into our room, removed the hideous blanket, and slid back into bed with my girl. As soon as the bed shifted, she began to stir. Sookie stretched like a cat, her eyes still closed, not realizing that the sheet had come off her body while she'd slept. Watching Sookie stretch like that and listening to her breathy moans made my dick snap to attention.

_Hello hard on, we've missed you! You've only been gone, what? Five minutes?_

"Good morning, my love." I gathered her up and snuggled her next to me.

"Did you sleep well?" I asked as I kissed her lips.

She began to purr, _fucking purr_, as I ran my fingers gently up and down her ribs.

"I did, thank you."

She leaned up to kiss me, "And good morning to you too," she whispered against my lips.

Without warning she threw her leg up over my hip and straddled me, deepening the kiss. I'd never been more glad to be naked than I was in that moment! Without a word, Sookie reached down in between us (never breaking the kiss, mind you) and positioned me at her entrance. We moaned simultaneously against each other's mouths as she slid down onto my ever-ready cock.

I'd never get over how hot, wet and tight she was! There was no better feeling on this earth than being buried inside Sookie to the hilt. She stilled once I was fully sheathed within her, both of us simply savoring the moment! Slowly, oh so painfully slowly, Sookie began to move up and down on my dick. My eyes rolled back and my toes curled involuntarily, she felt so fucking amazing.

We were whispering words of love and commitment to each other in between kisses. It wasn't a rushed coupling this morning, nor was it the overwhelming need-driven sex of last night. We were making love, worshiping each other's bodies and just reveling in the feeling of being joined so completely.

I could feel her walls starting to flutter around me, signaling that she was getting very close. Truth be told, so was I. She just felt too fucking good wrapped around my aching shaft. I reached down and began to rub rapid, tight circles on her swollen clit.

"Sookie, baby, come for me. God, I need you to come soon. Your tight little pussy feels so fucking good, I can't hold out much longer!" I groaned through gritted teeth. "I love you so fucking much, baby!"

Those must have been the magic words because seconds later she let out a guttural scream as her walls clamped down on me, forcing me explode inside her with an animalistic roar.

"I'm so glad you're moving in here, Eric. I could get very used to waking up like this," she giggled, still coming down from the post orgasmic high.

"Me too, lover. Believe me, you'll never get rid of me after waking up like that!"

_And I mean that, whole heartedly. She'd have to pry me from her from now on._

"We should probably get up and get breakfast going. Do you know if anyone stayed last night?" Sookie pulled herself from my arms, much to my chagrin, and began putting on her Hello Kitty pj's again.

"Anyone? Shit, everyone stayed," I snorted. "It's a full house, my love."

"Well then… let's go piss off some guests!"

Between the infectious enthusiasm in her voice and the evil smirk on her face, I knew I was about to love whatever it was she had in store for our company!

_God, I love this woman!_

_Let the games begin…_

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_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	18. Chapter 18: Wakey, Wakey

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**For those of you reading "Wrecked" – I'll be working on the next chapter this weekend and early next week. The boy's been home on Spring Break all week & trying to write with an Autistic six year old in the house is like pulling teeth, lol. Plus, my man turned 7 two days ago & we have his party tomorrow. Too much to do, too little time to write…**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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_**EPOV**_

"So my little minx, what is it you have planned for our guests?" I whispered as we snuck through the house looking for wayward bodies.

Thankfully it seemed that everyone had actually made it to a bedroom last night. Since our room was the only one on the first floor, we would (in theory) be able to pull off whatever it was she was planning with relative ease.

"Okay, first we're going to make a quick breakfast, as quietly as possible," she emphasized with a stern look. "Then we're going to get the air horn, a large pot and a wooden spoon," she explained, smiling widely at me.

"And then we can treat our guests to a little concert this morning," she said with a very quiet, evil scientist type, "Bwaahaahaa!"

Sometimes, she was the most wonderfully, awful person!

"Baby, I love the way you think!" I said as I kissed her nose before heading to the fridge. "So, what is it we're making this morning?"

We decided on a breakfast skillet; eggs, sausage, potatoes, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and cheese – plus pancakes.

_Yeah, it's a lot of food, but (a) there are seven adults here, four of which are men, and (b) you've never seen Jason eat. It's truly a sight to behold. _

_And the dumbass will happily tell you that he eats his weight food so that he can "keep the Stackinator big, hard, long and strong." _

_And I'm the fucktard hoping to marry into this family?!_

_Love, man… it'll make you do the damndest shit._

It was a wonderful feeling cooking in the kitchen with Sookie this morning. We worked in perfect harmony, complimenting each other in every way. Even though it was a good sized area, it still would have been easy to get in each other's way while we were both using the stove.

But not my little Sook and I. We worked like a well oiled machine.

She fixed up a HUGE skillet of our egg concoction, while I made the hotcakes on the other side of the stovetop. Once the food was done, we set everything inside the oven to keep it warm and got the table all set and ready.

Breakfast complete, now it was time for fun.

Sookie sent me out to the shed for the air horn, while she got out the big pot and the wooden spoon. I came back into the kitchen to find her wearing a huge metal colander on her head, only to have her thrust a large stainless steel mixing bowl toward me.

"What. Is. That?" I choked out, trying not to laugh too loudly.

She strolled up to me, grabbed the back of my neck with one hand and pulled me in for a kiss while sneakily setting the bowl on my head.

_The dirty minx, distracting me by making out with me like we're two high school kids so she could make me look like a douchenozzle. _

_Though, if it gets me kisses like this – she can dress me in any damn thing she wants…_

She pulled away with a huge smile on her face and took the air horn from me before purring, "It's your head gear, silly goose. Now, grab the pot and spoon and let's go have some fun!"

She motioned toward two cotton balls on the counter, telling me to get them in my ears (that horn is retarded loud). Once they were shoved properly into my ears, she turned toward the door and started dramatically tiptoeing toward the stairs.

_Shhh… be werry werry quiet. We're hunting wabbits…_

We managed to make it upstairs without rousing anyone. She went to the far end of the hall while I stayed by the stairs. She gave me the shush signal, and began counting with her fingers – one, two, three – then pointed at me. I started banging on that pot for all I was worth, hitting it so hard my hands stung from the impact. I couldn't help but bust up as I looked at the expression of pure joy on her face at blowing that damn horn. My ears would be ringing for a week, even with the cotton we had stuffed in them. We were both laughing like loons when the doors began flying open and people tumbled out into the hall.

_To say that we are not fan favorites at the moment is a gross understatement. _

The look on Pam's face told me that I'd have to keep one eye open while sleeping for a while (she really was a crazy bitch sometimes). Poor Lafayette was just about in tears, yelling about how all the noise disrupted his beauty ju-ju.

_The most priceless moment in all of this, you ask? _

Jason fucking Stackhouse, surveying the hallway, a look of pure horror on his face - flag pole standing high and waving proud!

_Is anyone surprised that Lafayette's attitude improves greatly once he notices Jase has his wang out and at the ready?_

_No?_

_Yeah… me either. _

"What the fucking fuck is going on here?! Everyone alright?" Jase yelled, looking around frantically for whatever was attacking us.

The second most priceless moment was the look on his face when he realized that it was just us being assholes!

_Oh. My. God! _

His whole face scrunched up right before he started growling at us, "Are you mother fuckers fucking kidding me right now?! I was this fucking close," he indicated by putting his thumb and forefinger just millimeters apart, "to coming and you fucks think this is funny?!" he bellowed as he stepped toward me.

For about two seconds, I was honestly a little worried that he was going to throw a punch he looked so pissed, but then Tara finally exited their room. She was fully dressed and wearing a huge smile to boot.

"Baby, what did you expect when we agreed to sleep here? You know your sister is a crazy bitch, it's one of the many reasons I love that gal! And, Eric, well… he just adds another trick to her bag o' crazy."

He, however, was NOT finding the funny.

She patted him on the chest as she walked by, "Now go tuck that python away, I smell food!"

She sauntered towards the stairs, congratulating us on our wakeup call technique over her shoulder as she descended them in search of breakfast. She'd really been around here too long if she was so unfazed by this morning. Though, in all fairness, pranking was pretty normal for the Stackhouse siblings.

Jason skulked back into his room grumbling about "those miserable fuckers" and vowing revenge, leaving us to laugh at the other three left in the hall. Pam never spoke a word, she just glared at me as she turned, then gave the two fingered "I'm watching you" sign to Sookie before heading downstairs.

_Did I mention my sister is crazy – like batshit crazy – and fucking frightening on occasion? _

_Oh, yeah? _

_I did?_

_Well, I'll say it again… that bitch is nuts! _

_Hannibal Lector, fava beans, and Chianti kinda nuts…_

_FUCK!_

Anyway, Eggs hugged Lafayette tightly, telling him to "Put on his big girl panties, because that was hilarious," as he dragged Laf by the arm toward the food.

"You know Sook… I think I'm going to love Eggs! Strange name, yet he's one funny mother fucker!" I announced offhandedly as I watched them head downstairs. My girl congratulated me on a job well done by patting my butt like an athlete right before grabbing my hand and towing me toward the kitchen.

We all sat down to breakfast, laughing and joking (especially after listening to Jason rant on for ten minutes about our morning prank). He was quite funny when he was pissed, threatening to sue us both for medical damages if his massive case of blue balls caused permanent damage to his "hammer."

"Why the fuck you call it a hammer?" Laf snorted around a forkful of eggs.

"Well you saw it, didn'tcha? My dick's so hard and huge it could hurt somebody, man! You know the saying 'please, hammer, don't hurt 'em,' right?" Laf laughed hard as he nodded vigorously.

"Well… where do you think those money makin' thieves got it?" he asked, motioning toward his dick.

_Yup, he's our comical little asshat. _

_Him is juthst thspecial…_

Pam still hadn't spoken, so she was starting to make me a little nervous, though I was trying to hope for the best. Really, I was her only brother – her only sibling. So bad could it really get?

Shit, I was fucked.

Just. Fucked!

_Maybe an extra pair of shoes, or a new whole new collection, will cool her jets…_

Once we were all finished eating, we quickly got everything cleaned up and put away. Everyone except Pam had agreed to help me move in here today, so we planned to meet at my parent's place in a couple hours. It would be two o'clock by the time we got started, so we figured we would be finishing up no later than six or so. We'd be having a thank you dinner back here at the house when we finished, though whether we were cooking or buying was still undecided.

Everyone headed out, and we were _finally_ alone again. Sookie asked me to lock the back door as she went over to secure the front one. I came back into the living room to find her naked, sitting in the wingback chair with nothing but a smile. She had one leg over each arm and was rubbing her slit up and down, _very slowly,_ while playing with her nipples with her other hand.

_Yup, I'm going to love living here!_

_That is, if I survive it…_

"Woman, are you trying to kill me?" I asked as I rid myself of my shirt, kneeling before her.

"Nope, just trying to remind you of why moving in here is such a great fucking idea," she smiled, never stopping her torture-Eric-by-masturbation plan.

_As if I could forget?!_

_Fuck! My dick will remind me every fucking hour after a stunt like this!_

I began running my hands up and down her legs from the ankle to the hips, never touching her glistening mound, unable to resist the call of her soft flesh.

"I know we don't have a lot of time, baby, but my girly bits are soo lonely… all hot and tight, and oooh… So. Wet." She circled her clit slowly before spreading herself open for me.

"They hurt, so badly. Please kiss them and make 'em better. Pretty please, baby?" she begged, giving me the most bitable fucking boo-boo pouty lip I'd ever seen!

_I don't need to be asked twice! _

I attacked her pussy with such ferocity, I almost scared _myself_. You'd think I'd never eaten pussy before with the way I was after her! I lapped at her like a man dying of thirst who's found an oasis. Within minutes I was bringing her to her first orgasm, my name falling from her lips like a chant. Without stopping my ministrations on Sookie's clit, I reached down and wiggled out of my pants.

_Holy fuck, my cock fucking hurts! _

My poor my dick was entirely too hard to be pressed up against the zipper of my jeans, especially since I rocked commando all the time.

As Sookie began her second orgasm, I buried myself inside her to the hilt with one long thrust. I loved the way it felt to enter her mid-orgasm, it was just fucking mind blowing. Her breathy moans and pleas indicated that she loved my entrance as well.

_Fucking Sookie in this chair might just become my most favorite activity! _

The access, the depth I was reaching, the places I was hitting inside her that curled both our toes… FUCK! She was the most amazing creature on earth. I'd never stop cherishing her, loving her.

_I'll spend the rest of my life making sure she has everything she could ever want or need. God, how I love this tiny miracle woman! _

Her legs were still flung over the arms of the chair, enabling me to reach the most amazing spots inside her. Not only was I hitting her G-spot on every stroke, I was hitting her cervix as well (which, can we talk about the most amazing things it's doing to the head of my dick?!) I was having a hard time holding back my impending release as she reached her third orgasm; the contracting of her muscles trying their hardest to milk me dry.

I stood up with Sook still attached to my throbbing cock and headed for the shower. We managed to somehow turn the water on and get under it without killing ourselves (or stopping the amazing sex we're having). I pressed her up against the tile and continued pounding into her. I wanted to come so fucking bad, I could feel it in my teeth! But I wanted to stay buried inside her to prolong her pleasure more than I desired my own release, so I tried slowing down my strokes.

But she was having none of it.

She bucked against me, forcing me to keep the faster rhythm. Forcing me closer and closer to the edge, and when she bit my neck as her fourth orgasm ripped through her, I was fucking done.

I came so hard I almost dropped her, screaming her name as spurt after spurt of my seed spilled deep within her. We whispered words of love and adoration into each other's necks as we came down from Blissville.

We somehow managed to get through the rest of the shower without attacking each other again, though I had no idea how. My dick was still at half-mast just from being this close to a naked, wet, Sookie.

_I wonder if you can die from perma-boner?_

Once dried and dressed, we headed out to my car. We were barely in the car before Sook flung herself at me, kissing me hard.

"I can't believe it! We're really about to move you in!"

When she pulled back slightly I wanted to weep at the tears shining in her beautiful eyes.

"Sorry, I'm just so fucking happy right now," she explained sheepishly.

"Nothing to be sorry for, love, I'm just as happy as you are right now! Please don't cry, baby. You know I can't take it."

She promises to stop and I kissed her lips softly. With a pat to her knee, I pulled out of the driveway and headed toward my parents' with a huge smile on my face.

_It's fucking moving day! _

_Yay me!_

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_**So happy, yay for living room and shower sex! Wingback chairs ROCK! Lol**_

_**Wonder how the move will go, or how Pam will behave? Anyone think we've seen the last of nasty old Bill? Hmmmm, I wonder…**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	19. Chapter 19: The Long Road Home

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**EPOV**_

It would be about forty-five minutes before we reached my parents' house and since she was trapped in the car with me until then, it was the perfect opportunity to make her tell me about the bullshit that _Creepy-Compton_ had been putting her through. She was far too good at avoiding difficult issues, and he wasn't shaping up to be something she could just wish away. That guy had always been a bit off, something unsettling about him. What the hell Sook had ever seen in him, I'd never know.

"Lover," I began quietly, "I think now is the perfect time for you to tell me about what's been going on with Bill."

Her heavy sigh indicating her displeasure at the idea, "Eric, can't we just let it go? There's really no point in going over it all, he's in jail now."

_She's hiding from me, again. _

_Goddamnit!_

My following few attempts to drag the story out of her were also met with predictable, yet still infuriating, brush-offs and evasion. I gripped the steering wheel tighter, wondering if I'd actually end up crushing the thing before I got her to talk.

"Sookie, are you really going to hide from me over this? You're going to less that twatwaffle come between us? _Today?!_ Of all days!"

I was at a loss. For as smart as this gorgeous woman was, she could truly be a fucking bo-bo sometimes.

"I'm not hiding from you, Eric." I rolled my eyes at her asinine lie. "Really, I'm not. I just don't want to get into all of it," she paused to pinch the bridge of her nose. "And besides, buddy-boy, don't you think it's just a bit highhanded of you to try to force me into talking about this while we're trapped in the car for almost an hour?"

There was a small part of me that knew I was indeed being highhanded, but the bigger part of me knew my girl all too well. She was as stubborn as the day was long, and really just made my ass ache on frequent occasions.

"Sookie, look, I don't want to fight with you. Especially not on the day we're moving my in together. But I think it's a bit unfair of you to expect me to drop this."

_She's off her fucking rocker if she thinks we're done with this little gem of a discussion. _

Her safety was all that mattered to me. This wasn't about forcing her to bend to my will; I needed to know what we were facing in order to make sure nothing could harm her.

_Least of all that assgoblin, Compton. Or his hideous sidekick, Sparky the Wonderslut. _

I took another deep breath before continuing in as calm a voice as I could manage, "And while yes, it might have been a bit calculated for me to bring this up in the car, you also promised to fill me in last night. You _conveniently_ forgot to address this during our heart to heart, so I figured now was as good a time as any."

Was this really all that hard for her to grasp?

Apparently the answer to my question was a yes, because the next words out of her mouth made my fucking blood boil.

"What the fuck do you even care anyway? This all happened long before you decided to grace me with your presence again!"

I honestly had no idea until this moment that it was possible for a car to come to a complete stop and pull itself over to the side of the road as fast as mine just did. I couldn't say anything for a few minutes, knowing that if I did my temper would get the best of me and we'd end up as fucked as we were the last time we fought like this.

However, that didn't stop Sookie from opening her gob...

"Eric, what the fuck are we doing? We still have to go get your shit!"

Yeah, so… aside from pulling my hair out, or possibly strangling the woman I loved, there was not much I could do in that moment but put up one finger in the "hold please" fashion, and exit the car like my ass was on fire.

Knowing Sook the way I did (and fully acknowledging the fact that her temper blinds her to common-fucking-sense at times), I took the keys with me. If that woman thought I'd be chasing the taillights while she left me on the side of the road, she was fucking nuts!

I walked up and down the shoulder for a minute or two, not even muttering to myself, I was so pissed. Finally, when I was sure I wasn't going to rip off her head and shit down her neck (because, let's face it, one of us has to be the adult here - and she's apparently incapable today), I got back in. You could tell by her body language that she was still pissed, but had also started to realize she was being a bitch. The tears on her cheeks told me it _might_ be okay to try to talk this out now. I was still mad enough that I had to work to control my voice; screaming won't solve anything right now, no matter how good it would feel.

"Sookie, honey, I love you. I really don't want to fight with you," I said as I reached for her hand, linking our fingers. "But I don't want us to end up like before, where the fight was having us instead of us having the fight. We let all our bullshit ruin our lives for so long, _please_… let's not do it again. If you want to fight, then let's have our fight. Yell at me, scream, hit me if you need to – but don't hide from me by saying hateful things again." I raised her hand to my lips and kissed the back of it gently. "Please, can we just talk about whatever it is that's got you lashing out at me?"

_Now, just so we're clear, I'm not being some emo-pussy bitch or any such shit here. I simply learned from the last time we went this route. _

I had no fucking interest in spending the next five years apart because we couldn't manage to have a civil, adult-type discussion. And god knows I loved her, but if she was going to act like a child again, then I'd just have to suck it up and be the über-adult.

_Even if I did want to throw an all-out, lay on the floor, kick my legs like a two year old, style tantrum right now._

She undid her seatbelt and launched herself into my lap. She was all out sobbing, and I'd never felt more helpless. I hated it when she cried!

"Shhhh, baby, don't cry," I cooed as I rubbed circles on her back, holding her to me tightly. "Talk to me, Sook, let me in. Let me love you," I whispered in her ear.

"Eric, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to be so awful to you again! Please don't leave me this time. I really don't know what the fuck is wrong with me sometimes!"

She was bawling into my shoulder, sniffling away, and I was fairly certain that I was going to have a large slime trail of snot on my shirt when she was done. It was utterly nasty, but livable if she'd just stop fucking crying.

"He hurt me so much, and I didn't even really love him. Isn't that crazy?!" she giggled and kind of snorted at the same time.

She was too fucking cute.

"Tell me, Sook. What happened with twatface? And before you say anything, let me tell you why I care." She nodded against me, still sniffling, but at least not sobbing.

"First, I care because I love you. Second, I care because that fuck was spying on you and stalking you. Third, I care because I'm moving in there and he lives next door; I have the right to worry about our safety. And last, I care because I'm your friend, as well as your lover. I worry about you and all that happens to you. Even if you never wanted to get back together, I'd still always want you to be safe and happy." She began kissing my neck and jaw line before I was finished speaking, whispering her apologies and love as she went.

"Don't you know, you silly girl, there's nothing I wouldn't do for you? There's nothing that could make me love you less? Let. Me. In."

_If it sounds like I was barking out orders… good, it should. _

_We won't work, no matter how badly we want to, if she's always going to hold back. _

"Ok. I promise, I'll tell you. Maybe not every detail for the sake of time, but I'll tell you." She pulled my face to hers and kissed me until we were both gasping for breath, and my dick was throbbing against the zipper of my fucking jeans. Again.

_I seriously need to invest in pants without zippers if I'm going to be spending substantial time with Sook. _

_Maybe some nice track suits, something soft to press against my poor, aching cock…_

"Let's get back on the road, and I'll tell you while we're driving," she suggested as she crawled off my lap and back into her seat, getting herself buckled back in. "By the way, Eric, thanks for not giving up on me or losing it and telling me to fuck off. I don't want to lose you."

I assured her she wouldn't and of my love for her as I checked the rearview, preparing to get back on our way. As I was pulling back onto the road, she began to tell me about Creepy-Compton.

The short version was that while she did care for him at one point, she had never loved him. I could relate completely. Everyone since her had merely been placeholders.

_No one could ever compare to my sweet Sookie, and I'm glad to know she feels the same about me. _

Anyway, she told me about the night they split up and how Bill had invited her over for dinner telling her to walk right in, only to find him dick deep in Whorena, who was bent over the couch. Needless to say, the Douchy-Duo ended up wearing the lovely pineapple upside down cake Sookie had made Bill for dessert.

_I can't begin to tell you how much I wish I could've been there for that! _

_And apparently, they didn't see the need to stop fucking. Covered in cake and all, Bill simply looked over at my girl and said he'd "be with her next," if you can fucking believe that shit! _

So, Sookie had gone back to her place, obviously pissed, but also oddly relieved that she hadn't been forced to stick around for too long before finding out what a fuckwad Bill really was.

_But that is apparently where the fun (I use the term lightly) began. _

The phone calls had begun later that same night, and had never stopped. She'd apparently get upwards of forty calls a day from Bill asking her to understand that she had mistaken what she'd seen.

_Science experiment! _ _Ha! _

_I could piss myself laughing every time I think of him, standing at her door, throwing that excuse out there like it made perfect sense. That SHE was the idiot._

_Fucking retard! _

So, back to twatface. After she'd refused his calls – the flowers, visits, cards, candy, and gifts began. She, of course, sent him and his gifts away, but he wouldn't take the hint. She said she'd thought something might be up when he'd mentioned things about her day or her life that he shouldn't have known, but being the nice girl she was, she just brushed it off.

Sook also ignored the times that she'd thought things in her house had been moved or tampered with, thinking that she was going nuts. Turns out, not so much. Billy Boy was fucking crazy and installed surveillance equipment in her home. Thankfully he, and his crap, were history now.

_Well…_

_Maybe I ought to look into how to get the house swept for any remaining bugs or cameras, just to be sure. I'll have to talk to Andy about that. _

She hadn't felt it necessary to get an order of protection against him before last night, but thankfully she was now on board with it. So, we'd be going down to sign that paperwork before tomorrow, just as soon as we were done moving my shit.

I asked Sookie to make a quick call to Andy and ensure that the TRO would be ready to sign when we got there tonight. She also asked him about sweeping for more equipment before I had even had a chance to mention it.

_That's my girl! _

Andy assured her he'd take care of it all and warned her that Bill had some fancy lawyer who was trying to get him out on bail, ASAP. He swore to keep us posted.

_He comes near my girl again, and I'll find some nice parking garage to bury his ass in. There had to be somewhere around here that was pouring fresh cement…_

"I'm sorry for fighting with you, Eric. And for being so cruel, again," she said with a sheepish grin once she was off the phone with Andy. "I really love you, and I'm so happy you're back in my life. I promise to try to not be such a thundering, self-righteous asshole all the time."

I couldn't help but chuckle.

"That's all anyone could ask for I guess," I conceded, smiling at her. "Really, baby, it's okay. Let's just try to let cooler heads prevail from now on, shall we. I have no problems fighting for you, or our relationship, but I'd greatly prefer it not be frequent. Or so damn unnecessary. Agreed?"

She said that she agreed completely and thanked me again for putting up with her. God help me, I loved this woman. No matter how big of a pain in the ass she could be.

We pulled into my parents' house and noticed everyone on the porch waiting for us, looking less than thrilled. Well, check that, everyone except my mother.

She looked like someone who had just shit a diamond necklace, and maybe some earrings to match.

"Sook, prepare yourself… if you thought Bill was obsessed with you, he ain't got nothin' on my momma! Our relationship is like super-duper crack for her. Or maybe industrial strength chocolate."

_I hope she knows I'm serious, because my mother looks like she's fixin' to eat Sookie alive right now._

I swore sometimes I wondered who loved Sook more – me, or my mom.

_Oh shit!_ _I'm dead… _

Pam was here too, and the grin on her face plainly showed that she had some mad scientist plans on how to get even for our prank this morning.

_Well, fuck a duck sideways!_

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_**So first and foremost – I need to give credit to Ashmo2000, who when this story was originally posted used the name "Whorena" in her review. I almost died when I read that and have loved it ever since! Priceless.**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	20. Chapter 20: I Hate Waiting

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all! And to the guest reviewer that took the time to review last chapter, I'm sorry – I was ill and didn't log-in in time to accept your review. But let me say publicly that I appreciate the time each of you take to leave me your thoughts!**_

_**Oh… aaannndd… fanfic and my email account have not been friends lately, so I'm not getting messages that I'm getting reviews. They keep getting marked as spam, then fanfic stops sending, then blah-blah… anyhoo, if you're leaving reviews and I haven't said thank you, I'm sorry!**_

_**Sorry for the delay, sometimes RL and my health just don't want to be sympathetic to my writing.**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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_**Jason POV**_

I fucking hated waiting! I'd told Tara those two fucksticks would end up being late. Not that I could blame them really, sister or not. If I'd gone that long without fucking the person I loved, I wouldn't want to leave the house ever again either.

_But just 'cause I get it, don' mean I wanna stand my ass out here on the fucking porch of Eric's folks' house, waitin' for their fuckfest asses to finally show up. _

_What. The. Fuck._

Now, as awesome (and hot) as Mrs. Northman was, she was driving me bug shit right now. After the first three million questions about Eric and Sookie's reunion, I was just fucking over it.

And Tara! Holy fuckballs, Batman!

You know Tara, that girlfriend o' mine that you normally couldn't shut up with chloroform and a sledgehammer? Yeah, well… she'd apparently decided to play the role of church mouse today.

Mrs. Northman would ask us something, and Tara would just smile sweetly and say, "Gee, I'm not sure. What about you, Jason?" or "What do you think, baby?"

_Fucking classic. _

I hoped she knew I was gonna get even for this shit.

_I'ma fuck her six ways from Sunday, I tell ya! I'ma tie her up, tease her til her head explodes and then fuck her fucking senseless. _

_Again I ask: What. The. Fuck?!_

Pam came strolling out of the house, and I thought she was going to be my salvation. _But noooo_. Of course not. She just egged her mother on, bringing up all sorts of things from last night, so that Ma Northman was really worked up!

Perfect, just what I fucking needed.

The smile on Pam's face told me that this was all part of her revenge for the wakeup call earlier. That bitch just scared the snot outta me sometimes. Not in the same she-beast, fugly way that Lorena did, but Pam scared me in the 'I need eyes in the back of my head' kinda way. She was nuts in the Glenn Close from Fatal Attraction kind of way!

_Quick… hide your bunnies and your butcher knives! Because heeere's Pammy! Crazy ass bitch._

_The Stackinator don't hide from many vajay-jay's, but he turns tail and fuckin' scurries from hers._

Finally, Lafayette and Eggs showed up. I'd never been so happy to see that little fairy in my whole damn life!

_And before y'all get all politically-correct-type uppity on me for callin' a gay man a fairy, relax! _

_He calls me his fag-in-training (FIT for short, when he's feeling froggy), and I call him my little fairy. _

_It's a thing. They're our terms of endearment for one another._

_And yes, you fuckers, I know what endearment means! _

_Are we going to have a problem here?! Cuz I got two fists and a ball o' might that says I'll fuck all y'all up…_

_I keep telling y'all I ain't that dumb! _

"Laffy!" I screamed like a girl as I launched myself offa the porch and into Laf's waiting arms. "Save me from these nutty fucking women!" I whisper-yelled into his neck as he held me.

_Yeah, he's gay. So? _

_He's one big ass black man, who's stacked like a motherfucker. He can easily bench press my ass, and I ain't small. _

You NEVER wanted to see what happened when someone who wasn't a friend called him a fag or fairy. Shit wasn't pretty. I watched him beat up three redneck, ignorant assholes for sayin' that he gave their burgers AIDS.

He sure didn't give 'em AIDS, but boy oh boy did he give them bloody and broken noses.

"Lord, I'm gonna kill Sook and Eric when they finally get here!" I whined, in a manly fuckin' way, mind ya.

"FIT, baby boy! Shh, it's okay now. You let Momma handle those hens," he cooed as he patted my back.

_Yeah, laugh all you want, you fuckers. But I'd rather be felt up by my fairy than listen to ole Ma Northman cluck about Sook! I love my sister too, but damn! Nuf's enough, lady._

_This shit here borders on freaky love – and not in the two hot bitches in a mud pit kinda way. Ya hearin' me?! _

Laf set me down and sauntered up the porch steps. "Okay ladies, tell a sista what's going on 'round here that's gots my little Jason so upset," he asked, looking to said hens for answers.

But suddenly their lips were sealed. Those bitches had been running off at the mouth like my ass did after Big-Burrito Tuesday at the bar, and now they had nothin' to say?!

_What. The. Fuck. _

So Laf (being his usual charming self) started to tell Ma N. about how "romantic and all-cutsie-wonderful" Sook and Eric were last night. That got her fuckin' attention, so she followed Laf to the wicker couch to gossip.

_Fuckin' girls, man. Gossip is like crack or some shit to 'em._

"Thank Christ!" I muttered to myself.

Turning my attention to Tara I hissed at her, "Thanks for the backup Toots. Fucking love you too." And I added the bird that looked like I was scratching my face for good measure, before turning around and heading off the porch.

_Hey, I never said I was the poster child for maturity kids. I said I was hot. _

_Multitasking is overrated sometimes, and if I gotta pick one, I'ma pickin' hot every motherfuckin' time._

"Jason Stackhouse!" Tara stomped down the steps after me. "What the fuck was I gonna do? That bitty's never liked me all that much, and Sook's your sister. I gotta deal with Queeny over there," she motioned towards Lafayette. "And his princess too. Why I gotta deal with your sister's shit too?"

_She might have a point. Might. But I'm not giving in that easy. _

"She's your best friend, Tara. That's why." I threw my hands up in frustration, "Besides, I don't want to talk about my sister's sex life, EVER. But especially not with the mother of the dude that's giving it to her nightly!" I shivered.

It was just fucking creepy. My Gran was cool as hell, but she rarely asked about our escapades – especially Sook's. I didn't need to know nothin' bout my sister getting fucked into oblivion. Shit, the sounds comin' from down the hall last night would haunt my ass forever!

As we were standing in the yard, a guy I didn't recognize (in a fuckhot car, by the way) pulled up. It was a pristine, cherry red, 1965 mustang convertible.

_Yup. I'm not ashamed to admit that I just popped wood over a car. It's way hotter than some of the women I've slept with. Hey, don't judge – we've talked about me and my dick when drinking. _

Lafayette squealed like a pre-teen chick at a Justin Bieber concert and ran off the porch toward said car. Tara let out a low whistle of appreciation at the guy that was now exiting my dream car. Hated him already, I did. He was Latino, tall, and pretty well built. Well, he had best stay the fuck away from my girl. Just as I was about to go all caveman on his fuckhot-car drivin' ass, I noticed the way he was looking at my little fairy.

_Ahhh… lightbulb! _

No threats to my manhood there, the newcomer loved the cock. To which I could only say "woot, woot!" However, one look at Eggs was all we needed to know he was nowhere as relieved as I was by this fact.

"Ummm. Excuse me." Eggs drawled as he descended the steps. "I'm Eggs," he said coldly as he held out a hand to the new comer, "Laffy's boyfriend," his tone laying claim.

Laffy was less than impressed with Egg's cavewoman routine. "Jesus, this is Benedict, my boyfriend. Who's guaranmotherfuckinteed not to be around too much longer, if he keeps this shit up." He looked pointedly at Eggs, "I may be a diva, but I ain't yo bitch, Eggs."

Jesus stepped forward and shook my hand. _Good grip and eye contact… nothing shady so far._ "Hi, I'm Jesus; the nurse that takes care of our Laffy's momma. You must be Jason, I've heard good things about you." He turned to Tara and picked her up in a huge bear hug. "How's it going baby girl? I missed seeing you last week!"

Tara went on to explain why she didn't make the monthly visit to see Ruby-Jean, Laf's momma. Tara, Laf and Jesus go on to talk about Ma Reynold's condition, and her 'finer' personality traits, which apparently left Egg's feeling left out.

"Laffy, you mean this ruffian gets to meet your momma, but I don't?"

_Oh shit!_ _Eggs has that hysterical tone to his voice that my sister gets when she's about to go psycho on you. _

"How the fuck is it that I suck your dick, but he gets to meet your momma?!"

_Anyone besides me think maybe, juuuust maybe, that's WAY TOO MUCH FUCKING INFORMATION for polite company? _

_Yeah?! _

_Good, glad to know I'm not alone._

"Whatthefuck did you just say to me, bitch?" Laf took a step forward and got right in his lovers' face. "How DARE you talk about our business in front of the man who _takes_ _care_ of my momma!"

You knew Lafayette was pissed when he had his finger crooked, and right in your face. Thankfully, Eggs was presently the lucky winner of his tell. I fuckin' hated it when I was. I'd taken more than one ass whoopin' from Laf when I didn't pay attention to the signs.

"You think you can announce in front of my friends, and my friends' momma, that you go down on me? You really think that's acceptable social talk? I'm a lady! You won't be speakin' to me like that, EVER. Ya hearin' me?! I'll beat yo dumb ass bloody, you try that shit again!" He started poking Eggs in the chest, "And you wonder why you ain't met my momma with a mouth like that. Bitch, please! Ruby-Jean can barely handle the fact that I'm queer as it is, and you wanna have me risk you talking about licking the lollypop around her? You outta yo fine-ass mind! Honey child, you're good, but you ain't that fuckin' good."

Laf turned his attention to a flabbergasted (yeah, I know, another big word… fuckers!) "Jesus, baby, I'm so sorry you had to witness such a lackluster display of class. Thanks so much for showing up today to help us move my friend."

_Hey… lackluster. I like it! There's another word I can add to my inner monologue repertoire for the fuckery that goes on in my lil' world. _

_Okay, look you sons-o-bitches, I keep telling ya - I got mad skills in the smarts department. I just don't need every motherfucker knowing it! _

_Oh. My. Gravy! All y'all are pains in my ass! _

Before Jesus could speak, Eggs flew off the handle. "He's gonna help us move Eric? You just love surrounding yourself with fine men, don't you, hooker? You throw yourself at tall, blonde, and Viking last night. Now you jump into the arms of Ricky Ricardo here. I ain't second fiddle, bitch! I'm out!"

And off he went. Eggs walked right to his car, slammed the door, and took off like a bat outta hell. Flipping us the bird for good measure, too, the whine-ass lil' bitch.

"Guess it's a good thing you let Eggs drive, huh, bitch?" Tara smirked at her cousin.

"Oooh, I can tell you that man ain't gotta worry about my lollypop again after that shit! This candy shoppe done closed for the season for his fucked up ass!"

Laf turned to Jesus, lookin' at him like he was lunch before linking his arm with Jesus' and began pulling him towards the house, talkin' about "how hard it is to find a good man nowadays."

Everyone headed back up onto the porch, moments later Ma N. brought out some fresh lemonade for us all. Pam still looked like she was a mad scientist cooking up her evil plan, while her mom never stopped asking rapid fire questions about Sook.

_Have I told y'all I'm going to end up hanging myself if I gotta hang out with these fucking hens much longer? _

_Oh, I did? _

_Well… I still fuckin' might!_

Finally, Eric's car pulled into the drive. His mom let out a noise that was a messed up blend of Laf's girlie squeal from earlier and a battle cry as she literally began jumping up and down and clapping her hands like a lunatic.

_Fuck me, I feel sorry for my sister right now! _

The look on her and Eric's faces as they exited the car were priceless.

_This ought to be rich!_

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_**I can't wait to see what Pam's gonna do! Does anyone besides me think Egg's is being a big ole baby? **_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_


	21. Chapter 21: Here's Momma

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all! **_

_**And a special thanks to mommy4x who pointed out that Mustangs weren't released until 1965 – error fixed.**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**SPOV**_

_Holy shit! Eric's mom has lost it! _

_No – I mean she's really lost it! She's jumping up and down on her front porch, clapping her hands like a twelve year old. _

_Oh, fuck me! _

Eric walked around the car and grabbed my hand, lacing our fingers together as he whispered in my ear, "Just what we need after that lovely little argument from earlier, huh?" He gave my hand a squeeze and pulled me toward the porch.

_Yeah, sure… just what we need. Okay, time for the fake smile, kiddies!_

Thankfully Jason launched himself off the porch in our direction before Eric's mom could get to us. He pulled us both into a very awkward hug and started talking frantically in a low voice.

"Holy shit! Dude your mom is nuts, man!" he said to Eric. "She's been asking questions rapid fire about you and Sook since we got here. I should be pissed y'all are late, but I'm so fucking happy to see you right now, I'm gonna cry."

He turned his face and whispered in my ear, "Sook, run. Run while you still can! Eric don't need his shit – y'all can buy more! Worldly possessions aren't worth this kinda fuckedupness, I tell ya!"

I couldn't help but laugh at my brother's desperation. But truthfully, I wasn't too sure he's wrong. Suddenly Jase slapped me upside the back of the head whisper-yelled, "Next time I'm waiting on ya, take your boy's dick outta your mouth long enough to be on time Sook. It's just plain rude to make people wait on ya while you're off fucking somewhere!"

It wasn't that he was wrong, necessarily. The problem was that I could have given a shit less about social protocol. So just to be a bitch I winked at him, and assured him I'd "see what I can do."

Isabel had waited long enough it seemed, as her jumping and clapping had morphed into hands on hips and tapping feet. "Oh fuck, y'all are in some deep shit now," Jason laughed as he took in her stance.

"Funny, you dick, since you're the one that held us up," Eric said as he elbowed my asshat of a brother in the ribs. "Like she wasn't enough of a handful _before_ she was pissed!" Eric rolled his eyes at Jase as we resumed our trek towards the crazy lady.

_Whoops, my bad… I mean Eric's mom._

We weren't even all the way up the porch steps when Isabel wrapped her arms around me and squealed in my ear, loudly. "Oh Sookie! My dear, sweet Sookie, it's been too long my girl!" She slapped Eric's arm away so that he was forced to let go of my hand as she proceeded to drag me into the house.

I turned toward Eric with what I was sure was the 'deer in the headlights look,' and asked if he was coming with us. His mother assured me that we needed some girl time and all but screamed at him to back off. Poor Eric looked panic stricken that he had to choose between listening to his momma, and protecting his girlfriend.

"It's okay, Eric. Your mom and I have tons of catching up to do," I smiled weakly at him, letting him off the hook. "You get started with the guys and Isabel and I will go chat."

Eric could tell I was less than thrilled with the arrangement, but for now there was nothing I could do. It wasn't that I didn't like his mom, because I really did. But Isabel was a force of nature and could be a bit much to deal with when she got a bug up her ass. Unfortunately, it didn't matter if it was a happy bug or not – she'd still drive you nuts about it.

Pam followed us in, but still hadn't spoken to me. I was really starting to get a little bit worried about what was going on in that pretty, yet evil, head of hers. She just trailed behind us as Isabel led me into the kitchen. It was fucking creepy, her just lurking like a jungle cat waiting to pounce!

Ignoring her daughter, Ma N. sat me down at the table and went to get coffee, juice, and pastries. Nothing had changed about this routine since the day I'd met her. When you came to the Northman home you were served coffee, pastries, and generally some type of juice or wine, no matter the time of day.

"So my dear," she began as she took her seat next to me, "I'm so glad that you and my Eric were able to work things out so quickly!" She was practically bouncing in her seat.

_Maybe coffee isn't a good idea for her, hmmm… _

"So am I, Isabel. I must admit, I've missed that man."

There was really no point in lying about it, she knew it was true. She also knew it was why I'd avoided her and all things Northman since we split. Small town or not, it was _very_ possible to hide from people if you really wanted to.

_Trust me, I know._ _I've been a fuckin' ninja when it comes to avoiding the Northman clan! _

"Pamela tells me that he's already proposed," she grabbed my hand as my jaw dropped. "But I don't see the ring?"

_Ring? Proposal? Whatchew talkin' 'bout, Willis? _

_Warning… warning – brain overload alert!_

"Uhhh, pro… riii…"

_Yup, I'm stuttering. And so would you!_

I really wasn't listening to Isabel anymore though I knew I probably should have been, but in all fairness - _I was kinda freaking the fuck out right now_. I could feel the juice in my stomach staring to sour and I was in serious danger of losing every single thing I'd put in my mouth so far today. I swallowed hard and look over at Pam. She was grinning like the Cheshire cat and staring right back at me.

_Oh… I think I get it._

_That fucking whore!_

"Isabel," my voice was shakier than I would have liked. "I have a feeling that Pam is pulling your chain." Ma N. looked confused so I continued quickly. "We woke her up in a manner that did not agree with her today. I believe Pam is trying to get even by starting trouble."

The grin on Pam's face only got bigger and more evil as she assured me, "Oh Sookie, my dear, it's no joke."

She managed to bat her eyelashes at me in an innocent fashion and yet still look like Heath Ledger's version of the joker. She really was a scary bitch sometimes.

_Fuck! A light bulb goes off in my head suddenly. _

"Wait! Ring? What ring?!" I stuttered.

Pam waved her hand dismissively at me, speaking very quickly in order to cut off whatever Isabel was starting to say. "Mother, didn't you have something to say to our girl here about grandkids?"

_Fucking_ _BITCH_! _Here we go – now I'll never hear the end of this shit! _

I heard Pam muttering something to herself about waiting for Eric and the ring, but I couldn't pay too much attention because Isabel was practically in my lap now, talking babies.

"Sookie, you know I've always thought of you as a daughter, right?" I nodded, bracing for whatever she was gonna say next. "I'm so glad that you and Eric have sorted out your little differences and I think it's high time for you two to move forward."

"Well, Isabel, I think we are moving forward," I smiled sweetly at her as I reached over and patted the back of her hand gently. "We _are_ moving in together, after all."

She shook her head and gave me an indulgent smile, "My dear girl, I was talking about you two getting married and giving me grandbabies." The look on her face clearly said that she thought I was a bit of a bo-bo for not following her drift.

_Married? What the fuck is it with the marriage talk this morning? _

"We've been back together for less than forty-eight hours, Isabel. Marriage? You really want us to talk marriage already?" I couldn't help but shake my head at her.

_She's lost her fucking mind. I mean, hasn't she? _

_He wouldn't propose yet, would he?_

_What the hell would I even say if he asked today?_

I loved Eric, more than I could express. And sure, I'd compared every man to him since the day we'd split up. And yes, I couldn't imagine living my life without him. Would I marry him tomorrow? Hell yes. But really, he'd said last night that he wasn't asking _yet. "_Soon_,_ but not now," he'd said. So this was all really a moot point. No matter how much I'd like to marry Eric eventually, it was too soon to talk about alla this.

_So, I guess I'd say yes… but he's not askin', so I'm not stressin'!_

I heard someone coming toward the kitchen, but couldn't really focus on that because of the bombshell Pam dropped. "Sookie, I mean really – how daft are you? Of course he's planning on proposing to you. He carries the ring that _actually_ belongs to _me_ with him at all times," she said while examining her nails, as if there was nothing at all unusual about this topic of conversation.

I was kind of in a daze after what Pam had just said and barely aware of the chaos that was suddenly engulfing the Northman kitchen. This was the third time we'd talked about a ring this morning, and now Pam was saying whateverfuckingring Eric had belonged to her.

_Why would Eric give me Pam's ring? I'm so fucking confused right now. _

I heard Isabel scolding Pam that it wasn't her place to talk to me about Eric carrying the ring around, but I was still kinda in LaLa Land. The only thing I could kinda grasp was Eric. The look of pure fury on his face was staggering. I knew he'd never hit a woman, but the look on his face said he was giving it serious thought.

"What the fuck, Pam!" Eric shouted. "You really are a first rate, vindictive little cunt, aren't you?!"

_Oh, hell. _

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_**Pam's a bitch isn't she?! I couldn't believe it myself when she chose to let the cat outta the bag about the ring. That's not revenge for the wakeup, that's just plain mean. And yet, it's what she wanted. **_

_**I wonder if she'll feel bad about it. If this causes a problem with Sookie and Eric, I might have to set fire to her closet! Wonder what our boy's gonna say next…**_

_**And remember, I have no idea what was wrong with me when I originally penned this. I still blame the copious amounts of wine I was consuming regularly :D **_

_**And, for those of you reading "Wrecked," I promise to get back to that soon. For those who have been SOOOOo patient with me during my "A Thousand Years" hiatus, I'm happy to report I am ACTUALLY writing that again! Woot! Should be posting in the next few weeks. **_

_**Love and hugs to all! Thanks for reading!**_


	22. Chapter 22: That BITCH!

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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_**EPOV**_

That bitch!

That miserable, rotten fucking bitch!

_Lord, please give me the strength not to strangle the shit out of my rotten fucking bitch of a sister!_

How could she do this to me?! Marriage might not mean that much to her, but Christ! She was my sister for fuck's sake; shouldn't she give a shit about what I wanted?! How could she tell Sookie about the ring, let alone that I carried it with me at all times?

Then to top her soul devouring whore routine off, she went and told Sookie that the ring fucking belonged to her.

You know what? Fuck strength!

_Lord, please give me the location of the perfect place to hide her body!_

"You really are a first rate cunt, aren't you?" I bellowed at her. Bitch just wasn't nearly a strong enough word for what Pam was after this shit. I had to clench my fists to keep from knocking her out.

_And I don't hit women. But fuck if I'm not considering making an exception to that rule right now. _

My mother was bitching at my rotten sister that it wasn't her place to tell Sookie I carried around the ring, that she should have let me do that when I was ready.

_Really, ya think?!_

Pam looked utterly bored by the conversation, and it was making that much harder not to knock her fucking lights out!

"Pish – it's my ring. I can talk about it all I want," she rolled her eyes.

Rolled. Her. Fucking. Eyes.

"Fuck you, Pam!" I was so pissed I was vibrating, and desperately trying not to choke the shit outta her! "It's not your fucking ring! It's also not your fucking choice to tell Sookie about me wanting to propose! What's wrong with you?"

I didn't know if she hadn't expected me to be mad, or if she just didn't expect me to be _this_ mad, but she honestly looked shocked at my rage. She shook it off and a moment and put her bitch-face on again, "Bet that wakeup call isn't so fucking funny now. Is it, dear brother?"

I leapt into her face, obviously scaring her, and started screaming. "Are you fucking kidding me? You ruined my proposal, to the woman I've wanted to marry for as long as I can remember, over revenge for a _stupid prank_?"

She moved to take a step back, so I grabbed her arm – hard. Probably harder than I should have, but ask me how many fucks I gave right now?

_Oh, right – not a fucking one. _

_NONE! _

"You're not going anywhere! You fucking owe me an apology!"

"Eric's right, Pam," my mother began. "He's been waiting to propose since before they split up five years ago, you know that."

_Oh Christ!_

"Ma!" I whined, trying to stop her from making this worse. But apparently the gods weren't smiling down upon me anymore this day, because my mom just kept right on fucking talking.

"You know they were supposed to go away that weekend Adele died."

Well, fuck. My. Life.

Sookie's head snapped up and her eyes bored into mine. Fucking Pam! Fucking Mom! All I wanted to do was move my shit to Sookie's today and maybe propose on Halloween.

_But noooo… now I've gotta have this discussion with Sookie today. _

_With all these people here. Now. _

_Fuck. My. Life, again! _

_Hard._

_In the ass._

_With a wooden spoon! _

"Have all the Northman women lost their fucking minds today?" It was rhetorical, but I felt the need to ask anyway. "Ma, did you really need to tell Sookie about the trip to California?" I looked at her with what I was sure was pure exasperation on my face, then turned towards Pam. "And you, you festering thunder-cunt, there are just no words for how much I fucking hate you right now!"

I turned towards Sookie and pulled her out of the chair by her hand, gently, and began guiding her out the sliding glass door that led to the back deck. Oh, I could hear my mother complaining about my "gutter language," but again, I could give two fucks. All I cared about right now was fixing this fucking proposal fiasco! Just as I was closing the sliding door behind me, I could hear my mother begin reading the riot act to Twatmonger.

_Oh, my bad(ish). I mean my dear sister. _

I lead Sookie to the wicker couch and pushed the coffee table away. I released her hand, placing mine atop her shoulders, encouraging her to sit on the couch. I knelt down before her in between her legs, and moved my hands to cup her face tenderly.

Her eyes were shining with unshed tears, and my heart broke a little for her. For us. If Pam had ruined anything between us with this childish fucking stunt, so help me – there would be no way to keep me from killing her and finding that perfect place to hide a body. With, or without, the Gods help.

I was almost ashamed to admit that my mind was running over possible stashing places as I watched Sookie's anguish.

_Almost._

"Baby, I'm so, so sorry." I cooed as I kissed her forehead, watching helplessly as the tears began to fall. "I can't believe either of them are behaving like this. What can I do to make this better, Sook?" Right now, I'd do anything she asked. Anything, to make sure she stopped crying and didn't end things between us.

"Eric," she whispered so quietly that I almost missed it. "Did you really plan to propose before Gran died?" The tears were rolling in a steady, silent stream down her cheeks and over my fingers.

There were no words to express how much I _didn't_ want to get into this right now, but thanks to my family, there was no option not to. "Yes, my love, I was." I sighed. "But 'before' doesn't matter now, and I'm sorry you found out like that. Fucking Pam and her giant fucking mouth," I grumbled. At least my bitching made her smile just a little.

"Fucking Pam is right," she snorted. Her look turned serious as she asked "why didn't you?" I didn't have to ask what she meant, I knew.

"I wanted to wait until after you got through Adele's death, Sook. I didn't want to be all like 'Hey, I know your Gran just died, but why don't you come to Cali with me so I can propose.'" I couldn't help but to shrug, "It just didn't seem right to worry about asking right then. And then we had that huge fucking fight. It was kind of a moot point after that," I trailed off.

She laughed humorlessly, "And just when I thought I couldn't feel any worse about being such a raging bitch back then…"

"Stop. I love you, so stop," I begged. "There's nothing for you to feel bad about. I never told you because there was no need for you to know. I mean, what does it accomplish to have you know that we could have been married by now if we _both_ hadn't been such fucktards?" I kissed her gently on the lips. "All that matters is we're back together _now_."

She nodded as she removed my hands from her face, putting her arms around my neck she held onto me for dear life. A few minutes of us just embracing one another passed before she quietly asked, "Did you really intend to give me Pam's ring?" I couldn't help but laugh at this, but unfortunately my laughter made her withdraw from our embrace like I'd tasered her.

"Sookie, it's not Pam's ring." She looked confused, so I got up and took a seat next to her. I turned toward her and took her hands in mine as I went on to explain the history behind the ring and why it truly wasn't Pam's.

"That's really romantic," she said with a smile. "It sounds like a gorgeous ring." I nodded and assured her it was, and that I hoped she'd love it half as much as I loved her.

"But baby, if you want a different ring after all this bullshit, I'd happily buy you one. Then I'd take indescribable pleasure in shoving my family's ring up Pam's ass." I wasn't kidding, either.

_After this shit, Pam'll be lucky if I don't solder her asshole closed after I ram the fucking ring up there! _

_That way she'll at least be full of shit for a legitimate reason._

"Eric, I love you," she began and my heart sunk instantly. If she said she never wanted to marry me, Pam was _fucking history_! "I'll be proud to wear any ring you want, and damn proud to be your wife… but you haven't asked me yet." _Shit, sorta forgot about that little detail._ "So why don't we table this until you're ready to, okay?"

"You're not going to run?" I had to ask. And you'd worry too after knowing her track record. "I don't think I can handle you dumping me because my sister is Beelzebub's whore."

"Nope, no running," she giggled. "But plotting is a whole nuther matter! We need to get that bitch!" She declared as she began wringing her hands.

_God, I love this woman! _

"Oh, Lover, you are perfect beyond words!" I kissed her in earnest. I wanted to fuck the shit out of her right where we were, onlookers be damned! But I settled for a quick, yet fuckhot, make out session before we began our plotting.

My beautiful future wife and I came up with an amazing plan for getting even. It should fix both my sister's _and_ my mother's little red wagons.

_Best part? _

_I won't end up in jail for killing Twatface! _

_Yay, me!_

Sookie put on the waterworks as I ran to inform whatever guys were out front of the game plan. I told Jase what happened and what I was planning and hopped into my car. I could see him bent over in laughter in my rearview as I tore outta the driveway (making sure to squeal the tires, as loudly as possible) and headed toward my destination.

_I don't care how rotten what I'm about to do is – she fucking deserves it! _

_Fuck_! _And_ _I still haven't asked Sookie to marry me. _

This might not have been the way I wanted to propose, but since she knows now, there was really no point in waiting. I'd have to rectify this situation the minute I got back.

Thank God I grabbed the ring out of my bag before we left the house. What a handy afterthought that was turning out to be…

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_**Whoa ho ho – wonder what our hero is going to do to get back at Pammykins? Can't wait to see what Eric and Sook have planned. And a proposal…hmmmm….**_

_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_


	23. Chapter 23: Operation FPP

_**If the title of this chapter seems strange to you – you'll figure it out as the story progresses – just look for our boy Jason, and you'll understand the abbreviation… thanks to my girl MissyDee for her original suggestion on the name of this chapter!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own any of these characters, Charlaine Harris does… and she's a lucky, lucky gal.**_

_**Thanks to all of you who've stuck with me through the wackiness that is this adventure & have read, reviewed and/or alterted/favorited this. **_

_**And speaking of wackiness… this chapter take the cake for most effed-up chapter EVER!**_

_**Much love to you all!**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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_**SPOV**_

I couldn't wait to see the look on Pam's face when we were done with her.

_Fucking BITCH! _

Her mother wasn't going to be too happy with Eric (or me, for that matter), but I could give a shit less. I _might_ decide to care if Godric got mad…

_But then again, I might not. _

Pam fucking deserved it.

Frankly, so did Isabel. I loved the woman, and knew she'd never wanted us to split up – _but come on!_ She really needed to relax with all this baby and marriage shit. Again, I'd marry him tomorrow if he asked, and give him a litter of kids if he wanted them.

_But maybe… just maybe, we could wait until we're back together at least a week before jumping the gun?! I mean really!_

Eric was going to stop out front and clue in whoever was out there on the plan, effectively relying on word of mouth to inform the rest of the crew. We wouldn't finish moving Eric as early as we'd hoped tonight due to this little stunt, but fuck it – it was sooo worth it.

That bitch was going down!

And not in the way she enjoyed.

The guys were going to discretely get a few of Pam's best pairs of shoes (we're counting on Laf to pick out which ones) and get them outside to her car. Eric would take care of the rest once he got back.

I heard the tires screeching as he whipped out of the driveway, and knew it was my cue. I made sure the tears were flowing freely (which wasn't too hard considering how traumatic this morning had been) and turned on some mild hysteria for that extra special touch.

Pam and Isabel came running out the back door to ask what had happened. I sobbed, "He… he… He left!" I stuttered trying to get the rest of our story out, "He sssaid that hhhee didn't wa want to da… do this anymmmore," I wailed.

I deserved a fucking award.

_And I've definitely earned another round on Eric's magic dick…_

Isabel threw her arms around me and tried to comfort me, while Pam looked panic stricken. _She better feel bad, the bitch!_ "Oh, sweetie, it'll be okay. He'll calm down," Isabel cooed.

"No!" I hollered as I pulled away from her embrace. "This is all because Pam's too much of a bitch to worry about anything besides herself! Fuck you, Pam!" I stormed past them both and went to lock myself in the bathroom.

I could hear Isabel on the other side of the door, screaming at Pam to apologize to me and, "Fucking fix this!" (as she so eloquently put it). Then she tried to tell me that I should let her in, because _she'd_ done nothing wrong.

_Ha! Suurrre… _

"No, Isabel. You're to blame, too," I mumbled through the door. "You wouldn't stop about marriage and kids! You, you… you egged her on."

_Should I feel bad about making Eric's mom cry? _

_Maybe. _

_Do I? _

_Hell mother fucking no! _

_Eric said to let her have it too, since she let the cat outta the bag about the previous proposal attempt – and so let'er have it I shall…_

"Oh no, Sookie. I didn't mean to start any problems!" her voice was shaky from crying. "I would never want to get between you and my son! I've waited so long for you two to get back together… _PAM_! Say you're FUCKING SORRY!"

Next came Pam's attempt at an apology, which was really quite funny. She tried to tell me that it was all _my_ fault that this had happened because of our wakeup call. When that earned her a big "fuck you very much" from me, she tried to blame her mother for encouraging her bitchiness. _That_ little comment earned her a slap to the back of the head (I knew this because I heard the smack, the muffled "ugh" from Pam, followed by a "What the fuck you hitting me for?" and finally Isabel's response. "Maybe I'll knock some sense into you for once").

_Fat chance of that! But hey, she can hope._

I let Pam and Isabel fret on the other side of the door for a minute, while I texted Eric to see where we were at with the plans. I also sent Jase a text to make sure that everything else was in order. My brother responded first, telling me "all's a go for operation FPP: 'Fuck Pam in the Pooper.'"

_Charming, isn't he?_

_And I fucking LOVE him for it!_

Next Eric's reply came in, letting me know that he was on the way back with old man Olsen following close behind. He was about ten minutes from completion, and asked me to make sure that the girls stayed out of the front yard until he came back inside.

I made myself all weepy again and finally opened the bathroom door. I pushed past Pam and Isabel, going to sit at the kitchen table. Both women immediately flocked to my side, offering words of support and apologies. Pam's sucked, but hey – she was trying. I'd give her an "E" (for effort), and a "F" (for fucking bitch)!

_Yeah, yeah – I know. I'm a hilarious hooker sometimes._

Godric came in at this point and wanted to know what "in the blue fuck is going on in this nuthouse," which I found both to be accurate and extremely funny. Isabel hurried to explain that Eric was supposed to be moving in with me today, and that now he'd gone again because of "Pam's big mouth". She gave him a brief, but fairly thorough, explanation of the last hour's events. Pam tried again to blame everyone but herself – which earned her a big "Fuck you, Pam" from both me, and her mom, that time.

Godric let Pam have it about ruining the romance of a proposal that'd "been in the works since Elvis was still alive," then gave it to Isabel for "sticking her nose in where it doesn't belong and stirring the pot."

_I love this man, really I do. _

He was red in the face he was so pissed at those two, and offered his apologies for "the nuthouse duo" as he lifted me out of my chair into a huge bear hug. He told me that his "fucking boneheaded son couldn't possibly be retarded enough to let me get away twice," and set me down with a kiss to the top of my head.

I heard the front door crash open and knew that the _real_ fireworks were about to begin.

_**EPOV**_

I'd headed right over to old man Olsen's farm, which thankfully wasn't more than a couple of miles from my parents' house. Once I explained to him what I wanted and why, he agreed to help with the biggest grin you'd ever seen plastered to his face.

He was a wonderful old man, and very kind, but he had _NO_ love for my sister. She used to tease his son terribly growing up because, well… let's just say he wasn't the most attractive stallion in the stable. But he was a great guy and he'd never deserved her shit. He was tragically killed a couple years back while fighting oversees in Iraq. He was part of an elite force, but all his training couldn't save him from the landmine no one was expecting.

While she actually did feel awful about her behavior toward him, even before he had died, she'd never apologized and would never get the chance to now. Needless to say, Bubba Olsen didn't give a single red fuck about Pam now.

So when I asked him to load up the back of his truck and follow me to my folks' house, well… you'd have thought it was Christmas morning and all the gifts under the tree were for him.

I helped him get what we needed and led the way back to Ma's. I pulled up to find the guys all waiting out front with me. Tara had stayed with Jason, knowing that she wouldn't be able to keep a straight face with what we were planning to do to Pam. I checked to make sure that the 'extras' were in Pam's brand new, convertible, ultra white BMW (with… you guess it, white interior) – and got down to business.

Sook had texted me just as we were leaving the farm and I'd told her I was roughly ten minutes from blast off. I made it back to my parents' place and finished the prep work for "Operation FPP" in fourteen. _Not too bad a guess, Northman._ I left the guys out front and stomped up the porch stairs, throwing open the front door. I stormed into the house yelling for Sookie.

She jumped up from the table and tried to throw herself into my arms. It broke my heart a bit to have to stop her, to force her not to embrace me. "It's over, Sookie. I just can't do this," I said firmly while looking in her eyes.

_Not to be too much of a sissy here, but I'm telling you – I think I'm gonna puke just from saying the words. It doesn't seem to matter to my body that my mind knows I'm full of shit right now. _

"What do you mean, Eric? I didn't do anything wrong!" She was sobbing at me, and I could tell from her eyes that she hated this act as much as I did. I knew it will be worth it in the end, and so did she, but still…

"If this is the kind of shit I've gotta deal with when we've only been back together _a day_, it's not fucking worth it!" I smiled weakly at her and looked down as I said, "I can't live under a microscope. We're done here. Take care, Sook."

I turned and walked out of the kitchen just as my mother made this strange, strangled mewling sound like a dying cat. Sookie was hot on my tail, followed by the rest of my family, as I headed out the front door and down the steps. They were all talking at once and saying basically the same thing – don't do it.

I stopped right in front of the guys, and turned to face my family and Sook. "Enough! I don't want to hear anymore bullshit from any of you. And, Pam, don't ever fucking talk to me again." I turned toward the guys and Tara, and bellowed for them to get the fuck out of my way.

No one noticed up to this point that my car was off to the side of the moving van (which was mostly packed, by the way. I had the best friends, those fuckers managed to pack up my shit while I went to get… well…) I took a step forward and announced that this wasn't my fucking car, and then yelled, "What the fuck is that smell?"

Pam's face was priceless as she registered that her brand new car was now completely filled inside with cow shit.

Filled through every nook and cranny with grade A manure.

Her mouth was agape, her face was instantly beet red, and her hands were waving as she did her best 'spirit fingers' like some über drag queen on crack.

_The only thing that could possibly make this moment sweeter, you ask? _

That would be when she realized that every. Single. Pair. Of her Christian Louboutin's were sticking out at strategic intervals from within the reeking pile of shit that was now her BMW's interior.

_Fuck her, and the horse she rode in on – sideways. With a riding crop and a tail butt-plug, to boot. _

_The bitch! _

My father was trying not to laugh as my mother began scolding me. Dad put a quick end to that crap, insisting that Pam made her bed and if she "couldn't lie in it like a big boy, maybe she should stop fucking women."

_Yup… for a guy that calls me a knucklehead on his good days, and a fucking retard on the others, he's the fucking MAN! _

He congratulated me on finding my balls and told Pam she'd better get that "Pile of shit, pun absofcukinglutely intended, out of his goddamn driveway. Today. Like, right fucking NOW!"

I got in Pam's face and mustered up my most evil smirk. "This morning was all in good fun. No one asked you to stay at our home, but we let you in and let you have a room without a second thought."

I waited several seconds until she finally found the nerve to meet my eyes before continuing, "What you did to me and Sookie today is inexcusable. You tried to ruin what is supposed to be one of the most special moments in a couple's lives. And for what?" I was trying to stay calm, but I couldn't help that my voice was now rising in octaves.

Pam opened her mouth to speak, but I quickly cut her off, "You gave that ring to me years ago and have no claim to it now. I refuse, do you hear me, _refuse _to give it back to you. I know I'll forgive you one day for this. But today is not that day, bitch." I was shaking; I was so fucking mad at her. But I needed to finish this. "You may not like what I did to your car today, but considering what I _wanted_ to do was find a place to hide your body, you should be kissing my fucking feet right now."

_I should probably feel bad about the tears streaming down Pam's face… I really should, but I don't. _

_Not even a little bit._

I pulled Sookie into my arms and kissed her like the world was ending. "I love you, baby. My life would be nothing without you, and I'll never let you go again," I said as I stared into her beautiful eyes, once I released her luscious lips. She was in the process of assuring me she felt the same when I pulled away from her.

The look of confusion on her face was quickly replaced by one of shock as I dropped to one knee.

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_**OH, holy hell's bells. He's gonna do it with the sweet smell (not) of cow shit in the air. Well, it's not ideal – but it is Eric. So any proposal from him is a good one, I guess…**_

_**1000 points for anyone who remembers where the tail butt-plug comes from. :D**_

_**Love and hugs to all!**_

_**Thanks for reading!**_


	24. Chapter 24: Pop Goes the Question

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but since this is unbetaed, the boo-boo's I do own.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

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_**EPOV**_

Her eyes were wide and shimmering with the tears that threatened to fall as I pulled the ring box from my pocket. My hands were shaking (which was a little embarrassing, but couldn't be helped) as I fumbled to open the tiny black box. Taking a deep breath, hoping to calm my nerves, I began a speech I vowed never to make again.

_There will be no marriage for me - ever, if it's not to Sookie._

"Sookie, my love," my voice was almost as shaky as my hands, "this ring has been in my family for generations, and it is as unique and beautiful as you." I paused and took another deep breath before removing the ring from its case. "You are the one who completes my soul. Yours is the face I want to see first in the morning and the last thing I see at night. Would you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Undoubtedly, every man's hope is that when he "pops the question," his intended screams yes and throws herself into his arms.

I would have settled for a nod, or even a squeak, from mine at that moment.

Sookie seemed to be catatonic. She wasn't moving, not blinking… hell, I wasn't even sure she was breathing. She was just standing there, frozen, like a statue.

"Baby," I began quietly, "did you hear what I asked you?"

There was still no response from my girl.

_Shit – doesn't she want to be my wife? _

I couldn't stand this! "Sook, my love, I know this isn't the ideal proposal, and it's certainly not how I planned to do this, but… whatdoya say?"

It was _Jason Love-this-mother-fucker-sometimes Stackhouse_ that finally broke her out of her trance. "Jesus Christ on a Ritz cracker, Sook! Pull that pretty blonde head up outta your fat ass for thirty seconds and tell this poor somabitch yes!" He was shaking his head at her as he offhandedly remarked, "And people think _I'm_ the dumb one?"

Well, that did it.

We all busted up laughing, and Sookie was finally with us again.

She threw herself at me, knocking me backwards with a thud, so I landed flat on my back with her sprawled on top of me. She moved to straddle me and began kissing me in a way that had my dick hopping to attention. I could hear my father clearing his throat as Sookie began to writhe against me, but I could have give a fuck less!

_Okay, so, maybe she didn't act in the way I was hoping, but fuck… this is WAY better! _

It was Jason, again, that snapped his sister out of it. "Holy shit-balls you two! Sook, I didn't mean for you to jump the poor boy and dry hump his Viking ass infronta his folks!" he all but yelled at us. "Now find that good little Southern gal that our Gran raised somewhere in that heathen body o' yours, and tell the boy yes. But for the love of fuck, Sook, get offa him!"

Everyone, including me and my girl, busted out laughing.

"Yes, oh god! Yes, Eric. I'll marry you!" Sookie finally responded, laughing and crying and kissing my face all at once. "I'll marry you right here, now, even with Pam's shit filled car stinkin' up the joint."

I couldn't help but laugh even harder at that. She was right, it really fucking stunk.

_But, I could give a shit (pun intended) because - I'm fucking engaged!_

I thankfully hadn't dropped the ring when Sookie tackled me, and moved us to sit up. She stayed straddling me as I took her left hand in mine gently. As I slid the ring onto her finger I whispered, "I'll never let you go again, baby," before gently kissing her lips. The kiss was filled with all the love I had for her. "You're mine now."

"You'll never have to let me go, Eric. Never," she said against my lips. "I am yours, as you are mine."

And she was right.

I _was_ every bit hers. There was no woman who'd ever possessed my entire being the way she did.

We kissed for a few more minutes, just holding each other tightly, as we half-listened to the hoots and hollers of our family and friends. I heard Laf's new friend saying something about having to "come around more often if his people were always this exciting," which made me snort. The moment between Sook and me was over as soon as I snorted into her mouth, so she turned her sights on Pam.

"I'll probably forgive you faster than Eric will, bitch. Let's face it, because you decided to be such a rag today, I got engaged. So even though you didn't mean to, you actually did me a favor."

I really hadn't thought of it that way, but she was right. I would have waited another few months, probably until Halloween to ask her. _Huh?_ I'd considering thanking my dear sister, if she wasn't such a bitch.

"But just so we're clear here… this ring is MINE. Call it yours again, and I'm gonna do a whole HELL of a lot worse to you than what your brother did." Sook promised.

Sad part was, I know she wasn't kidding. Southern women were all sweet and full of manners and hospitality… UNTIL you royally pissed them off. Once you had, there was no going back, and they made the Devil look like a Sunday-school teacher.

_They are some crazy ass bitches that will stop at nothing to get even. _

Pam nodded her head in understanding. Even she knew not too push Sookie too far.

My mother and Pam both apologized to us, once my mother was done bouncing and clapping like a loon again. I wasn't ready to forgive Pam yet, but I did make it clear that no retaliation for today will be tolerated.

Whether I could have handled her bullshit better or not, she still didn't get to retaliate for something she started.

She promised on all of her remaining shoes that she would not attempt anything and would do whatever she had to in order to be forgiven. I could tell by the look in her eyes (as well as the fact that she swore on her shoes) that she was serious.

My mother also promised to cool it with the wedding and grandbabies talk, as much as possible anyway. At least she acknowledged that she over stepped her bounds and harassed Sookie about shit that was "none of her business."

To which my father replied, "Praise Jesus, she's finally seen the light! Thank ya Lord! Amen."

_That man kills me sometimes. _

Sook and I finally disengaged from one another and stood back up. Of course my mother attacked us both with hugs and kisses before anyone else could get near us. Once we were released, Dad enveloped Sook in a bear hug, whispering something into her ear. She told him she loved him too as he put her back down.

My father (being the giant mush-bear he is - NOT) came over and clapped me on the back. "About time you stopped being retarded, ya fuckin' knucklehead. Good for you, boy."

_My father, ladies and gentlemen. _

_He's all heart, that one._

Once the dust from my revenge settled, we got back down to business. We finished loading up the truck and were finally ready to head back out to the house. I told Pam that I had called a cleaning service to pick up her car in the morning so that it could be detailed. She was less than pleased to find out that she, in fact, would be the one to shovel out the cow shit, but that was her problem, not mine.

I had every intention of buying her a replacement car if they couldn't this one like new again.

_I might be an asshole, but I'm not totally heartless._

With hugs to my family, we got on our way. Laf was driving the moving truck back to our place, and the rest of the gang was meeting us there. We were taking a quick trip to see Andy and sign the restraining order. It wasn't exactly what you wanted to have to do right after getting engaged, but it was a necessary evil.

We pulled up to the station and headed inside to see our favorite law man. The look on his face upon us entering however told me that the gods had turned fickle upon me once again.

"Lay it on me, Andy," I sighed. "With the puss you're wearing, I know something's up."

"Sookie, Eric, let's go into the conference room." He lifted the counter-gate, and ushered us toward the back room. Once inside he shut the door and motioned for us to take a seat.

"What's going on, Andy?" Sookie's voice was shaky.

_Motherfucker, this is supposed to be a happy day. _

_Fucking Compton! _

_I'm sure this has something to do with that weasel! _

He pushed the papers that were on the table in front of Sookie and asked her to sign in the marked places, promising to explain once the restraining order was secured.

_This can't be fucking good!_

As Sook was signing, he began to explain his grim mood. "Compton hired some hoyty-toytie, hotshot lawyer who has gotten him out on bail." Andy paused, waiting for the information to sink in a bit before continuing.

_Mother fucker, cock sucker, son of a BITCH!_

"He's been before the grand jury already, and he's going to go to trial. I have every confidence that he'll be locked up, indefinitely, once it's all said and done. But until then, Sookie," he waited for her to meet his gaze before continuing. "You need to be extra fucking careful. That man makes my asshole pucker. He's crazier than a two dollar whore. I wouldn't put it past him to do something truly whacko where you're concerned. So you watch yourself, ya hear?"

She assured him she would and finished signing the paperwork. If he violated this, he was going directly back to jail.

_Which unfortunately, I'm sure won't take very long at all. _

Obviously, he wasn't a master of sanity or self control. The only thing that concerned me was whether or not he'd hurt her before we could put him away.

_I'll fucking kill him. _

There would be no stopping me if he harmed a single hair on her head.

Andy apologized again for not being able to keep him behind bars. Then he informed us that the she-beast had been released as well.

_Yay. _

Rollercoaster ride featuring the seventh ring of hell, party of two please.

Because this day just kept getting weirder and fucking weirder!

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_**Uh, oh! Beehl and Whorena are out! Trouble? **_

_**Me thinks maybe…**_

_**This is the last chapter of banked material from the original posting – so from here on out, it's a brand new ride for everyone. I'll be finishing the next chapter today and sending it off to my beta.**_

_**Speaking of which, I'm thrilled to say that Ali989969 will now be the beta for this story from here on out. If you haven't read her work, you truly should. She is an amazingly talented author and a wonderful person!**_

_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_


	25. Chapter 25: Coming Home

_**Yeah… so parts of this are NSFW… just a heads up. :D**_

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but I'm having a great time playing with them!**_

_**Thanks to my beta, Ali989969 for working with me – it's a true honor for me. She's a wonderful person and an amazing writer!**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**EPOV**_

The ride back home was quiet, both of us lost in thought worrying about the fucktard from next door. We pulled into the driveway and for several long moments neither of us moved, both zombified by the events of the last few days.

_What a fucking ride… I need a stiff drink, some food, and Sookie's scrumptious ass, pronto!_

Without a word, I hauled my fiancé into my lap and snuggled my face into her neck, hoping to nuzzle away my troubles. It might not work, but nothing bad ever came from cuddling with my gal.

I practically purred as her fingers began to rake through my hair. Calming me, soothing me. I could truly choke the life from that colossal prick without an ounce of remorse. Stalking my sweet, wonderful girl…

_I don't fucking think so!_

"Let's go inside, honey. We need to tell the rest of the gang what's up," she whispered, making no effort to remove herself from me.

I pulled back just slightly to look into her gorgeous eyes. "Indeed," I agreed just before my lips met hers.

Our lips, tongues, and teeth danced lithely together as our breathing sped, creating the perfect rhythm for our tango. My hands abandoned the feeling of her voluptuous ass in search of the most perfect breasts I'd ever seen. Sookie moaned and wriggled as my hands slid under her shirt, slowly caressing her sides. Just as my fingers felt the slightest hint of the swell of her tits, there was a tremendous bang right next to my head.

"What in the honest to god fuck do you two diptards think you're doing? Don't y'all know there's a room, with a fucking bed in it, and a door that goddamn closes, just a few feet from here? I mean really, Sook, nearly fucking him infronta his folks wasn't enough? Now ya gotta give the whole town a looksee?" Jase bellowed. "Gran would shit a Twinkie if she saw your hooker ass right now!"

"Keep your shirt on, Nancy. We'll be in in a minute," Sookie retorted, a grin on her face and not a hint of blush on her cheeks.

_Public nookie is apparently good for my Sookie. _

_Woo-hoo! Go me, it's my birthday, we're gonna party, it's my…_

_Yeah… so, I obviously need a triple shot of something stiff._

_And speaking of stiff…_

"Yeah, Stackhouse, I'm gonna need a minute. Flagpole's raised, you understand?"

God, how I loved pissing that boy off.

"What the? Really, dude? That's my sister! I don' give a fat rat's ass if she's gonna be your wife, I don't need to know nothin' 'bout you throwing her your bone. Fuck man! What's wrong with you?" he bitched as he stomped back up the front steps, slamming the door loudly behind him.

Sook and I sat there laughing for a minute, both of us enjoying Jason's ire far too much to be considered healthy. We both loved that boy fiercely, but shit, he was such an assmunch on occasion.

We finally pulled ourselves together and I'd managed to will my dick back down to half-mast status, so we exited the car and headed inside. The gang was all there and had done an amazing job of getting most of my shit into the house already. After thanking everyone profusely (and steadfastly ignoring Jase's evil eye), we made quick work of emptying the truck.

Once all the 'fun' stuff was done, there was no way to postpone the bad news any longer. Sook and I told everyone about Compton and Beastie's release, and made sure to warn everyone to be on the lookout for their own sakes, as well as Sookie's.

Those two really were certifiable.

"Isn't that but a bitch? Ya know, some folks could fall inta a bucket o' parboiled assholes and STILL come out smelling spring fresh! It'taint right!" Jason ranted, his face cherry red.

After we were done cackling at Jase's colorful description, Lafayette and Jesus made dinner while the rest of us got the house more organized. By the time dinner was done, almost everything of mine was happily put away.

We laughed and joked through super and I reveled in having such a close group of friends. They were my family and I'd missed them all so much, and I'd never been happier about my decision to come back home. I had a fiancé, a home, and an amazing group of friends… I was the luckiest man on earth.

The gang insisted on staying at our place tonight, none of them feeling comfortable leaving us alone with the Creeper and his zombie lover running free.

Even Jesus opted to stay, saying, "You folks are more fun than a barrel of monkey's. I'm not missing a minute of this shit, so where's my room?"

To which of course, our boy Laf ushered him into _his_ room.

_Yeah, didn't see that coming. Laf never wasted an opportunity at getting hot ass._

_Speaking of…_

Once everyone was settled, I led Sookie to the bathroom. It had been a horribly long day and we needed to wash some of our troubles away.

I started the shower, wanting it to be perfect when we got in. I turned and gazed at the goddess before me. Dusty, sweaty, and slightly wilted from the events of the day – she was still the most heartbreakingly gorgeous thing I'd ever seen.

I pulled my shirt off as I began walking slowly toward her, my eyes only breaking contact with hers as the shirt cleared my head. When I reached her I gently cupped her face with my hands, telling her how much I loved her as I lowered my lips to hers at a snail's pace, wanting to savor this moment.

This would be the first time we made love as an engaged couple. Our first time as a _cohabitating_, engaged couple, and I was going to take my sweet fucking time.

We kissed leisurely, knowing it was leading somewhere wonderful, but utterly unconcerned at how long it took to get there. Gradually we rid each other of our clothing, our mouths and hands rarely leaving the other's skin. By the time we stepped into the shower we were both aching and panting with need.

No sooner had we gotten under the spray did Sookie move to squat before me, her legs spread open and one hand buried between her thighs as she slowly stroked her gorgeous pussy.

The way she looked at my cock alone had me ready to explode. But when she hooked one finger around the base, beckoning it toward her mouth, before licking the tip like a lollipop…

Well, let's just say that I was thinking of every foul thing I could – including Mrs. Fortenberry in a string bikini, and I was _still_ barely holding on.

Her eyes locked on mine, my prick sliding gently in and out of her hot, wet, wonderful mouth. My control was slipping quickly.

"Baby, stop," I begged as I backed my cock out of her mouth. "I can't, not now… need you," I rasped, desperate.

I bent to her height and claimed her mouth the moment she was upright. Placing my hands on the backs of her thighs I lifted her up, turning us so I could back her against the tile.

She hissed slightly at the cool temperature, that hiss evolving into a deep moan as she felt my tip nudging her entrance. My eyes rolled back as I slid into her tight slickness, my balls twitching almost instantly. I knew this wouldn't be my finest example of stamina, but it couldn't be helped.

Her being my fiancé and finally living with her had my emotions, and my libido, on overdrive.

Using short, deliberate strokes, I worked my way inside her. Forward an inch, back an inch, forward, back, pause. Repeat. All the while willing myself not to erupt. She was so hot and wet, so tight and responsive. God, her pussy flexed and gripped me with each movement, testing the limits of my resolve.

I stilled my movements completely once I was buried inside her to the hilt, aching to linger within her for as long as possible.

"I love you, future wife," I whispered as I rested my forehead against hers, gazing deeply into the eyes that held my soul.

"I love you, future hubby. I can't believe we're here, that you're mine."

"_Always_, Sookie. Only yours," I declared as I started moving inside her again, unable to hold still a moment longer.

I withdrew almost fully, so that only the very tip of me remained in her tight channel, before painstakingly driving into her again. My rhythm was slow, my strokes steady with a hint of force, as I made love to her.

My arms shook, my legs ached, and my dick throbbed almost painfully with the need to come – but still I resisted.

I kissed her face, her lips, her neck, as my pace began to quicken.

She felt so good, so breathtakingly good, I knew I wouldn't last much longer. My balls were heavy and so sensitive, every time I thrust forward and they hit her ass it sent shockwaves through my spine, making my toes curl and my eyes roll.

"Touch yourself, baby," I begged. "Won't last much longer… so good… gripping my cock… fucking perfect… ungh… FUCK! Need you… to come… _oh God_, you feel so. Fucking. Good."

My control was in tatters, but no fucking way was I coming before her. I slowed my strokes but thrust into her harder, making us both groan wantonly at the sheer pleasure of it.

I felt every inch of her as I fucked her, both of us so swollen, so close to our release.

Shakily, I lifted her, changing the angle of our bodies just slightly. My head dragged over her spongy spot on every pass, making us both whimper at the feeling.

I felt her legs tighten around my waist as the pressure of her rubbing her clit increased. The feeling of her massaging herself as I fucked her was more than I could stand.

"Sookie, can't… uhhh… gonna… oh… ohhh…"

Lightning raced down my spine, straight through my belly, landing directly in my balls. They tightened almost painfully as my cock began to swell inside her. The moment seemed to last forever, me teetering on that precipice until I was begging.

"Please, oh god, _please…_ baby…"

"Errriiccc…"

The first twitch of her walls sent me careening over the edge. I pressed my body forward as I lost almost all control of my muscles from the force of my orgasm. My toes curled, my legs buckled, and my arms spasmed violently. My ears rang as my whole body flushed, and I continued to piston within her by sheer instinct alone.

I damn near dropped her, I came so fucking hard.

Sookie's back suddenly arched off the tile, nearly sending us both toppling to the shower floor, as her pussy milked my dick in a vice. A high pitched keening noise was pulled from her chest, exploding from her lips as I felt the first gush of wetness.

My eyes grew wide as my cock was ejected from her pussy with the force of her release. Still pumping slightly forward, I ran my softening dick through her folds as wave after wave of her juices coated me.

She bucked and wiggled as she continued to ejaculate, moaning and pleading incoherently, causing my strength to fail and us to fall. I cushioned her landing as much as possible, knowing I'd be sporting a pretty (yet totally manly) bruise on my ass from this little adventure.

But it was so. Fucking. Worth it!

When she finally rode out the last of her aftershocks, we just laid there in a heap of body parts as the water rushed around us, trying desperately to slow our breathing.

"Wwww-o-wwww," was all she said.

I only had the strength for this odd, grunty/growly-type noise.

Wow indeed.

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**Woot, woot! I did it! **_

_**A brand new freaking chapter. BRAND NEW people! Wahoooo! First new chapter in well over a year on this story. **_

_**Okay… moment of happy dance is over. **_

_**(But you should all totally know that I was soooo doing the Snoopy dance when I finished this! Dorky, I know, but you know y'all love me anyway, lol)**_

_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_


	26. Chapter 26: Surprise, Surprise!

_**Okay… so either me or the site is completely bobo-fied today because somehow chapter 26 just posted a second ago with ch25's content. Here is the REAL ch26.**_

_**And, apparently I'm in a mood today as well – here's another NSFW chapter. You guys waited so long for new chapters, I think you deserve a few lemony ones!**_

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but I'm having a great time playing with them!**_

_**Thanks to my beta, Ali989969 for working with me – it's a true honor for me, she's a wonderful writer and person!**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**EPOV**_

Almost three months had passed since the fuckhot shower adventure.

_SEXIEST. THING. EVER!_

_Yeah… I'm not even a little ashamed to admit that I jerk off to that shit at least once a day. _

_My knees still get weak every time I think about her gushing all over my cock._

_I wake up painfully erect every morning now that I sleep next to my gal every night. Morning wood? Ha! I wake up with dawn steel every day, and most days I'm lucky enough that Sook wakes up raring to go as well. _

_Unfortunately, the last few days Sookie's been exhausted and not waking up when I do. So I find myself fisting my cock in the shower again this morning, as opposed to my normal pre-supper jerk._

_Yeah, I have a schedule for masturbation lately._

_So?_

_She's got me so fucking worked up all the time, I swear I've got a perma-boner._

_Anyway…_

Today's fantasy went as follows:

The warm spray of the shower relaxed my back muscles as I leisurely stroked my cock, loving the way my hand felt as it glided up and down my shaft. I was just getting started, so I used a light grip and wasn't teasing the head too much yet.

I loved to make myself practically beg to rub the tip. By that time it was so swollen and sensitive, God… it made my whole body tense when I finally gave in.

_Jerking off shouldn't feel this fucking good, but it does. _

_Oh God, it does! _

Especially when Sookie and her magic pussy were the reason for it, just thinking about how her pussy grips me, caresses me as I thrust into her, had my strokes quickening already.

I pictured Sookie on all four before me, offering me her perfect ass and displaying that gorgeous cunt for me. I could see how swollen her lips were, the slight sheen of her arousal coating everything – including her inner thighs. My mouth watered at the sight of her pert nub, just begging me to tease it, taste it.

She turned her head and looked at me seductively over her shoulder, the sight of it making me gasp. She wiggled those round globes at me, daring me to bite them, just before she dropped her head to the bed. Her legs spread wider, her ass rose slightly higher, her tits nestled under her just enough for me to see them perfectly… she was breathtaking.

Her slender finger began to tease her aching lips, dragging through the wetness and spreading it around sinfully. She moaned quietly at the feeling, her hips flexing and shifting a little with the pleasure of it.

I watched with rapt attention as she tapped her clit lightly before running a finger along her channel, only to tap her swollen clit again. Her hips thrust forward slightly causing her rear hole to flutter, drawing my attention.

_Anal may have to be in our immediate future…_

Sookie began to talk to me, telling me how wet she was, how good she felt as she played with her pussy. She described, with painful attention to detail, every single thing she did to herself and how it made her feel.

As her middle finger dove into her dripping center, I had to pause in my own playing.

Just imagining this scene had me so worked up, I was right on edge.

I breathed deeply, calming myself as my cock twitched in my hand. I was so close it hurt, but I wasn't ready to come yet. My hand felt so fucking good on my cock today, even more so than most days.

And I hadn't even rubbed the tip yet.

The water, the wetness, the warmth, the fantasy… it was amazing and I _needed_ to hold off a little longer.

Once I could move again without blowing my load, I resumed my stroking.

My grip was firm but my strokes were slower, much slower than before I'd almost lost it. I turned myself so that my back was against the wall, hoping that it would support me when I finally did allow myself to come.

I could already tell this was going to be epic.

Afraid to slip back into my Sookie vision for fear of ending this too soon, I concentrated instead on how my hand felt on my cock.

I was so horny and sensitive, every inch of my dick felt alive. My skin was so smooth and so wet from the shower water, along with my precum, that my hand just glided over my shaft effortlessly. Even with my tighter grip I met no resistance, and it felt beyond amazing.

I spread my legs a little more, giving myself better access as I sped my strokes minimally. I was aching to come, to feel the release of the coil that now rested at the base of my spine.

But I wanted more.

Needed more.

I finally allowed my thumb to graze over the head of my dick on my next upward stroke. The resulting sensation had me groaning aloud as my hips bucked uncontrollably forward.

_Fuck!_

_Too many more of those, and I'll go off like a rocket._

My grip a little firmer, my strokes a little longer and quicker, I gave myself to the feeling. I felt my skin pulling and stretching in the most glorious of ways as I worked myself over.

Up. Down.

Up. Down.

Up. Pinch the head slightly. Down.

Uuupp. Run thumb over the slit, sliding through precum.

I couldn't seem to make my hand move to the down stroke. My fingers teased and rubbed my leaking head, each tiny movement setting off fireworks that exploded in my balls.

I teased, caressed, and massaged the tip of my cock until I was panting.

"Please, please…" falling from my lips unconsciously.

Down.

I forced my hand away and literally whimpered at the loss of stimulation to my throbbing head.

My cock was twitching, my hips thrusting rhythmically, my pace quickening without my permission.

This wouldn't last much longer.

My other hand found my sac and began fondling my balls – pulling them, teasing them, as I finally found my waiting Sookie again.

She'd moved onto her back, her knees bent and her legs spread wide, flat against the bed. She was teasing and tugging on her nipple with one hand as she fucked her drenched cunt with the other.

My vision locked on her two fingers as they drove again and again into her tight hole. Her hips lifted furiously off the bed, grinding each time her clit hit her palm. She was covered in a light sheen of sweat, her lips parted slightly as she panted, her eyes heavy with lust.

My own hand began a twisting motion on the upstrokes that matched her swivel perfectly, and almost instantly I was at the end of my control.

I continued to tug on my balls to the point of almost being painful as I watched my girl come apart before me. She moaned deeply as her orgasm began and I was all too familiar with how my cock would feel right now if I were buried inside her.

Just as her orgasm reached its peak, mine finally began.

"Oh… oh right… there… ohhh… Soookieee…" I panted as quietly as I could.

…

…

For just a moment I wondered if I'd died, I came so fucking hard.

When my senses were with me again, I realized I was slumped on the floor of the shower, covered in my own spunk.

My cock still half hard in my hand, and my vision still not quite right, I couldn't help but laugh.

_Gotta love the orgasms that make you black out._

Thoroughly sated, for now anyway, I finished my shower and headed off to work.

Now, back to what I was saying…

We'd settled into a great routine, Sookie and I. We'd gotten the house completely organized to accommodate the additions of all my crap, and were both wildly pleased with the outcome.

It was cozy, comfortable, and _ours_.

_Home_.

_What a feeling._

The gang still stayed with us more often than not, whether it was some or all of them. None of them trusted that Compton wouldn't be making his move at some point soon. Unfortunately, I had to agree. This was far from over with that lunatic and his fugly twatwaffle.

Tara and Jase were still going strong, and for the first time ever - Jason Fucking Stackhouse was one hundred percent faithful. Not one of us, including him, ever thought we'd see the day. But there he was, totally in love and beyond devoted.

He'd even asked me a few somewhat discrete questions about rings. Well… Jase's version of discrete anyway, and we all know what that meant.

Bull in the china shop meets Foghorn Leghorn.

Yeah, subtle… _not_ his specialty.

Lafayette and Jesus had started seeing each other shortly after the night we moved me in. They were very much looking forward to sharing their first holiday season together, both beyond thrilled that Halloween was almost here.

In all this time we hadn't seen hide, nor side-burned hair, of Creeper or his sidekick.

It was unnerving to say the least.

The house had been put up for sale almost two months ago and there'd been not a peep of trouble from them at all.

I did my best not to let it bother me and simply focused on the future with my gal. I'd ended up having to buy Pam a new car; there was simply no getting the smell of shit outta the old one.

It was worth every dime though, just to see her face that day.

Needless to say she never bothered us again. Oh, we were still family, and she was still around quite often. But she never entertained the idea of revenge or further pranks after the shit-mobile incident.

Smart move on her part. I was done spoiling her bitch ass and wouldn't put up with too much more shit from her, sister or not.

I'd gotten the foundation laid for my new construction business and had hired a fine group of guys so far. Jason opted to leave his job on the highway crew to become my foreman. He might be an irritating fucker on occasion, but he was my boy and he was one of the hardest workers you'd ever meet.

We were thrilled to be engaged, but in no huge hurry to be wed. It just wasn't necessary today, and when the time was right, we'd know. We had the rest of our lives; we didn't feel the need to rush.

I'd left my gal still sleeping when I'd had to go to a job site at the ass crack o' dawn this morning. She was so gorgeous, even when she slept and it made my heart ache at leaving her. The meeting finished up sooner than I'd expected so I stopped at her favorite café on the way home and picked her up their chocolate chip coffee cake and an iced mocha. My gal had been out of sorts the last few days and I was hoping to cheer her up.

When I entered the house I set the goodies on the table and turned to head to our room. Movement behind the cracked bedroom door caught my attention.

_What the fuck?_

It was then that I heard her sobbing.

I raced to the door and threw it open, when I saw her on the floor. Sookie was curled into a fetal position, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks, moaning woefully as she clutched her stomach.

"Baby, what's wrong?" I exclaimed as I dropped to my knees as her side, instantly pulling her into my arms.

"Don't… feel good… can't stop puking," she moaned.

Without a word I scooped her up and carried her to my car. Placing her in the seat, I buckled her in and dropped a kiss to her forehead as I told her how much I loved her.

I called the town's doctor office on the way and they agreed to get her right in. Dr. Ludwig might be a bitchy old crone sometimes, but she truly loved her patients and Sook had always been one of her favorites.

Sook was ushered right into one of the rooms and a nurse drew blood before handing her a cup to pee in. There was a question and answer round going on, but my mind was checked out. It raced and zinged with the possibilities of what could be wrong with my girl.

After everything we'd been through, I couldn't lose her now.

I was hardly aware that she'd left the room to fill the cup, until she came back and snuggled into the chair next to me. I wrapped my arm around her and waited for the doc to come in.

It seemed like an eternity, with my poor Sook puking in one of those freakishly tiny pink basins twice, before the little gnome came in to tell us our fate.

"Everything seems fine, Sookie. It's likely just routine morning sickness. When was your last cycle again?"

I had no idea what Sook's answer was. My poor male brain had gone from checked out to full-on fried.

_Morning sickness?_

I landed back on earth to hear my girl saying something about "regular but lighter than normal," and realized that I hadn't imagined it.

_We're having a fucking baby!_

I turned, hauled Sook up out of the chair and wrapped myself around her while she was still midsentence.

_My baby's gonna make me a daddy!_

I was still in a fog as we were led to another room. We were ushered silently into a much colder, more dimly lit little room with far more equipment, strange equipment.

_What the fuck is this? The Twilight Zone? _

_Turn on some goddamn lights, would ya? My girl could fall!_

Thank Christ one of us was able to stay calm. Sookie, sensing my panic and instant irritation simply grabbed my hand and placed it on her belly while we waited for instructions from the Doc.

Instant Xanex, folks.

I was cool as a cucumber the moment my fingers touched my child's home.

I helped her up onto the table, and held her hand as we waited. I watched in awe as Ludwig spread some goo on Sookie's belly and somewhat registered the Doc's advice of "don't get your hopes up to see much yet, we don't know how far along you are." She then explained something about an internal wand for the sonogram, but I tuned right the fuck out.

Fucking my gal with dildos was one thing, I wasn't looking forward to watching Gollum over there in the corner nail my future wife with a plastic camera-thingy.

Necessary, or not.

I held my breath as strange images appeared on the screen.

Both of us gasped loudly when we saw them.

"Your mother's gonna shit when she hears this!" Sookie smiled, only half joking.

_Shit? _

_Hell, she's gonna pass the fuck out._

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_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_


	27. Chapter 27: Double Your Pleasure

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but I'm having a great time playing with them!**_

_**Thanks to my beta, Ali989969 for working with me – it's a true honor for me, she's a wonderful writer and person!**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**EPOV**_

As I woke up with a throbbing head and elbow, I realized that perhaps my mother wasn't the only one that would pass out with this newest development.

Once I assured my frantic fiancé that I was alright, I finally pulled myself back up from the ridiculously cold, hard floor. I immediately began asking the doc questions to see what I'd missed while I was doing my very best withering flower impression.

From what my puny male brain gathered: the fact that they could see the pregnancy externally, along with the fact that her periods had been "abnormal" for the past few months, and combined with the pointing and clicking the hobbit was doing to measure "things"… Sookie was approximately eleven weeks along.

_Hold please…_

_Fried male brain attempting math here…_

I knew that fuckhot shower incident was something else!

I'd probably gotten her pregnant _that night_.

My poor overloaded system went on strike again, and all power to my extremities failed. I slumped to the floor once more, but at least managed to stay awake this time. After cracking a joke about forgetting to take my man pills this morning in an attempt to lessen Sookie's obvious concern for me, I opted to stay right where I was.

Too many more bullshit fainting spells, and I'd be needing a new hip _way_ before my time.

"How long until we can find out what sex they are, Doc?" Sookie asked, her eyes excited and glassy.

"It's generally somewhere around nineteen weeks that we can determine the sex. But, remember that your little ones have to okay our lookie-loo. If they won't spread 'em, we won't see 'em."

_What the fuck is wrong with this woman?!_

Talking about my kids spreading their legs… while they were still in Sook's tummy for fuck's sake!

I was about to launch into a full-blown tirade about her lack of bedside _anything_, when I heard Sookie's tinkling laughter.

"I swear to god, I'll poke the crap outta 'em until they do!" she giggled. "Waiting is NOT my strong suit."

Truer words were never spoken folks.

And the thought of her "patiently" waiting through the next twenty-nineish weeks made my asshole pucker just a touch. But _not_ in the good way.

We received a book the size of _War and Peace_, about what to expect while expecting. Cute name. _Apparently_ this was the pregnant lady's bible. Sookie was nose deep in it before we even got to the car.

We'd also gotten a follow-up appointment scheduled, a prescription for vitamins, a short counseling session on what to expect and what to look out for, and a handy-dandy little packet in a nifty carrying bag, before we were sent on our way.

I was gobsmacked, and not entirely sure it was safe for me to drive. After we'd sat in the car immobile for a few minutes, Sookie finally seemed to notice.

"Eric, honey, you okay?" she asked, worry lacing her tone.

"Uh-huh… no… umm… maybe?"

"Are you not happy that we're pregnant?" The fear and sadness that clouded her previously joyous tone made my heart shatter into a million acid-soaked pieces.

"Oh, baby! Of course I am! I'm so fucking amazed by you, Sook. You're carrying two tiny little people inside you. Our people."

How could she ever think I'd regret us having a family?

"Oh, thank God!" she exclaimed as she started to cry. "I was scared you wouldn't want them, you seemed so shell-shocked."

"Twins. Identical freaking twins… HELL. YES. I'm shell-shocked!" I laughed. "But in the best possible way, honey. I promise. But holy shit, Sook, really. When we do something, we really go for the gusto, huh?"

Relieved, she nodded before leaning over to kiss my cheek gently before asking me to get her home. Apparently, someone was hungry. The babies wanted cheeseburgers and fries she informed me, completely serious.

_And… so it begins._

She was going to be the cutest pregnant woman EVER.

I got her back home that day and we spent the entire day reading the book to one another, eating, snuggling, and making love. The sweetest, slowest, most intense love, I'd ever experienced.

It was glorious.

How did we end up pregnant when Sook was on the pill? Yeah… we asked that same question. The answer was quite simple, folks.

_When they say "99.9% effective in preventing pregnancy"… they aren't fucking kidding!_

Sook swears she hadn't missed a pill in well over a year, and she hadn't been on antibiotics in better than six months, so we were just one of those couples where it "failed for no apparent reason."

_I'll tell you the reason!_

We were meant to have these babies. Now.

Just as we were.

"Everything happens for a reason," and all that…

Regardless of _how_ we got pregnant, we waited until we were thirteen weeks to tell anyone the news. We wanted to make sure we were well over that first trimester barrier before we announced anything. We openly acknowledged that neither of us could survive the sympathy shit if something were to happen, God forbid.

Once that landmark had arrived, we told our friends before telling my parents. I know that might sound crass, but we knew all too well that the moment we stepped foot in my mother's home to tell them, we'd be trapped. Never to be seen again.

My mother would go positively carrot-top over this, and would never let us out of her sight again.

Thank goodness for my dad, he kept her squealing to a minimum and finally got her to release Sook before Mom smothered her. My poor girl was positively rumpled when my mom was done with her.

I was really, truly, unaware that a human body was capable of making the sounds my mother did that day.

I still snicker about it often.

Mom had reined it in a bit since then. Oh, she was still overly involved in well… _everything_. But she at least attempted to obey our boundaries.

Yeah, you guessed it.

It never worked.

She was a colossal pain in the ass, but she was my mother. And I loved her dearly.

I was beyond impressed with Sookie's ability to deal with my mother's shenanigans, though. She almost never said a bad word against my mom; she'd simply take deep, cleansing, breaths and would then speak a touch slower than normal.

Sometimes to the point where Jase would ask her if pregnancy was turning her "special".

I was shocked he hadn't needed to see a neurosurgeon yet, the way she'd knocked him in the noggin with all those cast iron pans!

And still the jug-head couldn't seem to shut up.

He was going to die a slow and painful death, if he didn't smarten up quickly. A pregnant Sookie was a zero-tolerance-for-bullshit, Sookie.

Anyway, Sook and I started clearing out the small den next to our bedroom earlier this week. It would make the perfect nursery for our coming miracles. My mother was helping us today to figure out what was truly needed, and what was simply decorative and/or whimsical. Everything was going along really smoothly until I noticed my mom had been picking at the same thread on the blanket she was holding for the last five minutes straight and was shaking like a leaf.

"Ma?"

"Eric, there's something outside the window!" she whisper-yelled, while setting the blanket on the dresser before her.

"What?"

"You can see it in the mirr…" my mother's sentence was cut off by an incredibly high pitched battle cry.

_What the fuck?!_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**Yes. Yes, I know I suck monkey balls for leaving it here. I know. But the whole story almost is chapter ending cliffhangers, so I really feel like I need to keep with that. I'm so, so sorry – but it's what this chapter demanded.**_

_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_


	28. Chapter 28: Double Your Fun

_**Hi! Umm… sooo… hopefully y'all don't hate me too much after yesterday's cliffy… **_

_**But HEY… I got the next chapter up today to make up for it. *Big Smile***_

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but I'm having a great time playing with them!**_

_**Thanks to my beta, Ali989969! She's the bestest!**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**EPOV**_

I was all set to go outside and eviscerate whatever was out there threatening the safety of my family, when an alien head came crashing through the window pane.

Yes, I said alien head.

And you would have thought that too, had you seen what I saw.

I thrust Sookie and my mother behind me and held my arms out in a protective manner to keep them there, as they craned their necks around my frame to see what was happening.

_Bill Fucking Compton!_

Turned out, what I'd thought was an alien was actually Bill all decked out in spy-gear. I was certain in that moment that I'd seen everything, until I realized the reason his head had smashed out our new window.

Whorena was bludgeoning the ever-living fuck out of him with her massive designer handbag. She had Bill in a choke hold, using the binoculars that had once hung around his neck as a noose, and was clubbing him like a baby seal.

Suddenly, I kind of liked that crazy whore…

Anyway, Bill was pleading, crying, and choking as he thrashed about like a cat on a hot tin roof. I told my mother to take Sook and a phone, and go lock themselves in the bathroom while they called Andy. I texted Jason, telling him he needed to get his ass over here.

Then I took a shit-ton of pictures.

This was way too fucking good to miss.

_Perhaps they'll be this year's holiday cards…_

I swear I must have taken a hundred or more pictures of The Garden worthy beat down Bill took at the hands of his girlfriend. I stayed right where I was snapping picture after picture, and maybe egging Lorena on a bit, until Jase arrived.

"Yo, Thor! Where you at?"

_Charming fucker._

"Babies' room."

"Hey man, what's the hubbub? I…" his voice trailed off as his eyes bulged out of his head in the old cartoon style.

Needless to say, I chuckled just a bit.

"Duuuude… you got pics o' this shit?" he asked once he found his voice again.

"Absofuckinglutely!"

"Hey, Whorena? Sure hope ya got a few bricks in that suitcase you're luggin' 'round!" he teased, earning the most insane look from the purse wielding whacko. Neither of us could hear her response over our laughter.

Finally Andy arrived, along with several of his deputies, and got the situation under control. From what the shrieking banshee told the cops, Bill had been continuing to spy on Sookie for quite some time, much to Lorena's dismay. She'd apparently tried to break him of his "strange fascination" with my gal in a wide variety of ways, to no avail.

Man, some of them would be giving us all nightmares for years to come.

Just the thought of Lorena in leather, crotchless _anything_ had my dick ready to roll over and play dead.

_Yikes!_

Anyway, he'd sworn to her about a week ago that he was over Sookie and that they could finally begin planning their wedding. Then she followed him to our house today, only to find him decked out like the James Bond of Walmart with his face against the glass.

_My poor mom was fucking traumatized by that, just so you know. _

She'd really thought there was some kind of monster out there. Apparently, all she could see were the green, glowing eyes of his night vision binoculars. Sadly, monster wasn't too far off though. He might not have been a mythical creature, but he was certainly monstrous and meant harm to my family. I was beyond relieved to have him gone.

We replaced the window and cleaned up the mess, inside and out, after the police were done with pictures that day. It took us about another week after that to get the nursery completely cleared out and ready to paint and finish. Mom had suggested that we paint it neutral colors and wait to be surprised on the sex of the babies when they arrived.

_Yeah… you all know exactly what we, and more specifically Sook, had to say about THAT!_

So, today found us in that same little, cold room again, waiting for the doc to dump blue goo on Sook's tummy. I was dying inside. The man in me wanted sons. I wanted boys that I could teach to play ball, and roughhouse, and whatnot. But, there was a part of me that was hopeful for girls, too. The girls would look like Sook and be so pretty in little dresses… and they'd be daddy's girls. Boys are too often all about mom, not that that's a bad thing, of course.

Aww hell… as long as they were healthy, who cared what sex they were?!

_Which is, of course, what Sook's been saying all along._

Anyway, Doc Ludwig finally graced us with her presence and we got down to business. I was amazed at all the changes in the babies in just a few short weeks. My little peanuts were way more people-like now, and I was powerless to stop the tears that fell silently from my eyes.

I watched awestruck, with a death grip on Sook's hand, as measurements were taken and comments were made about how well things were coming along. I was struck completely silent by the melody of their little heartbeats, fast as hummingbird wings, that played through the room's speakers. Had I not already read how much faster their hearts beat than ours, I'd have been terrified.

Instead, it was _without a doubt_, the most amazing sound I'd ever heard.

"Lookie-loo is a go. Y'all sure you want to know the babies' sex?" she asked while shielding the screen from us slightly.

One look in my love's eyes told me all I needed to know.

She wasn't waiting another fucking minute!

"You bet your bottom we do, doc," I happily crowed.

"Well in that case, I'd say you'll be wanting to look at paint swatches in pinks or light purples."

"Girls," Sook breathed with the most triumphant smile on her face.

I smiled back at her, thrilled knowing that we were having identical little Sookie's, and that they had all ten fingers and toes so far. We went through the rest of the appointment, found out that as of now they were developing right on schedule and couldn't look better. All was right in my world. Our world.

We scheduled our next appointments, and headed home. The whole gang was waiting at the house with a huge lunch prepared when we arrived. Different factions of our group were holding different color balloons, the troops divided on the porch in support of their beliefs.

Sook and I cracked up laughing. How could we not?

"What is this? The balloon brigade?" she snorted.

"Well, hooka? Don't keep a bitch waitin'… tell Lala you're having girls!"

"Keep it down over there, Nancy! She ain't havin' no girls! She's gotta have boys, otherwise I'll end up in jail!" Jason said, his face deadly serious.

"Ummm… hate to break it to you, Jase, but…" Sook said as she handed him the paint swatch.

"Mother. FUCKER!"

"Dude, what the hell's your problem?" I asked, my temper starting to flair.

Really, I understood that Jase was a "man's man" but really, he should have simply been thrilled that he was becoming an uncle, period.

"What's _my_ problem? Motherfucker, what's _your_ problem?" he began. "You. Are. Having. GIRLS! Ya dig?! And you're not just having A daughter. You're having TWO, that with y'all's genes are gonna be tall, blond, and fuckin' hot. You're gonna have to worry about every fuckin' knucklehead with a pecker from here to Kentucky! Plus, who their little girlfriends will be, and if they're whores. Cuz no whores are gonna be hanging 'round my nieces, I'll tell ya that fuckin' much. You gotta worry about where they are, and if they're in a car with some dude like, well… ME! And fuck, man! Have you seen the shit that passes as fucking clothes nowadays on chicks?! Fucking hell, man… I might liketa look at chicks in little fuckin' skirts, shirts, and shit – but no fuckin' way are my nieces wearing any of _that_!" his face was beet red as he finished.

And my stomach was fucking rolling.

And suddenly I was hot.

Like retarded, atomic, molten-lava-shooting-out-the-end-of-your-dick _**HOT**_.

_Oh good… yay me. Here comes the shaking and the sweating… _

I ran to the end of the porch and yacked until I was sure I'd upchucked my Chucks. Fuck.

_Girls._

_Fuck, fuck… double fuck, fuck, fuckity, fuck, __**FUCK**__!_

As I calculated the ratio of guns already owned to those needed as they matured, I became aware of Sookie rubbing my back. We'd need to make sure that the house was safe in case of fire, but I'd be worse than Creepy Compton when it came to surveillance equipment.

_Those girls were never, I fucking mean never, sneaking out on my watch._

Must be Jason saw something in my face as I turned that told him he'd gotten through to me.

"That's what I fuckin' thought, ya dumbass. We gotta start preparin' _now_!"

That dumb motherfucker was sure smart sometimes.

And he had a fuckin' point, too.

He held out his fist in the "hit me" manner, and once I bumped mine with his, we were on! We didn't say jack dick to anyone as we headed into the house and squirreled ourselves away in the new office area. The last thing I saw before I shut the door was Sook shaking her head at me, thankfully fondly.

We had work to do!

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**For anyone that didn't know "The Garden" refers to Madison Square Garden in NYC. I might live in NY state, but I've still never made it to that landmark. So, I fit it into my story instead ;) **_

_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_


	29. Chapter 29: Operation Chastity Belts

_**Disclaimer – I don't own these characters, but they're oh so fun to play with.**_

_**Thanks to my beta, Ali989969! Her sense of humor, wit, and talent are a pleasure to be surrounded by. **_

_**We've heard a lot from Eric lately (not that that's wrong, you understand) but I thought it was time to hear from our girl again. **_

_**Maybe Eric too…**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**SPOV**_

I probably should have worried when the boys tore outta the office like their asses were on fire, only to return looking like they'd knocked over the local art supply store.

_Seriously, what in the fuck do they need with poster boards and scented markers?_

Were we starting a daycare?

Or, perhaps he was preparing to home school the girls?

_Pfft… either way, that shit was all on him. Daycare, my left titty! _

The only kids I would be watching, EVER, were my own!

While I was beyond thrilled that we were becoming parents, the idea of changing non-family diapers made my ass ache.

And not in any way Eric would get excited over.

My fiancé and my boneheaded brother had been hidden away in the office for over an hour _before_ they'd committed grand theft artwork. It had been almost three hours since they'd returned.

At first it was funny, now I was fucking nervous.

And maybe just the teensiest bit pissed.

Pregnancy hormones…

At least now I had a valid excuse for being the moody hooker I was at times.

Anyway, the gang had stuck around "just to visit", according to them. They were full o' shit, however. I knew better. Those nosey fuckers were waiting around to see what kinda shit Dumb and Dumber were extracting from their rectums.

My theory was proven right when I finally summoned my vaginal-fortitude and went to knock on the office door.

"Oh thank fuck! I couldn't stand another damn minute. This shit I has gots to see!" Lafayette breathed.

"Nosey bitch," I scolded.

"Damn straight, hookah."

I raised my hand to the door preparing to knock when it flew open to reveal a very determined looking Eric.

"Oh, hey baby. I'm just gonna head back out to the store, we've got a good start here but there's a few things we're missing," he said as he tried to gently herd me out of his way.

"Eric, what are you tal…"

As my eyes took in the sheer absurdity before me, I wasn't sure I'd ever find my voice again.

_What. In. The. FUCK?_

I had no idea what I was seeing.

And I wasn't sure I ever wanted to find out!

There were charts, graphs, drawings, and lists everywhere. Almost every square inch of our newly remodeled office was covered in either poster boards or wadded pieces of paper.

"Wh… wha?" I stammered.

"Oh, do you like it? It's not nearly enough, but by the time the girls are here, we'll be totally prepared," he said, acting as if he _hadn't_ completely lost his fucking mind.

"Prepared for WHAT?" I breathed, still too shocked to yell properly.

"Operation Chastity Belt, of course."

"Operation _what_?"

In that moment, I wasn't sure who I wanted to kill more.

My dipshit brother for starting this insanity… or my fucknut of a future husband who was buying into it hook, line, and crazy-drenched sinker.

The fact that Jason was now looking at me like _I_ was somehow mentally deficient and was talking extra s-l-o-w as if I were in need of flashcards was not helping his fucking case. And, since I had to sleep in the same house with Eric (not necessarily the same bed tonight, though), Jason was now the proud winner of my ire.

I listened _somewhat_ patiently as they explained about teen pregnancy, rape, the statistics of blonde haired/blue eyed girls involved in both, the likelihood of them sneaking out (and at what age they might), and several other "concerns", without saying a word.

That lasted until the words "chastity belts" were repeated again.

_Then it was on. _

Pregnancy hormones aside, this bitch was OVER IT!

"Obviously I don't want my girls to end up on _Teen Moms_ or some shit, but have y'all completely lost your freaking minds? Chastity belts? _Really_?! They're not even out of the womb yet!" I paused for breath.

"And that's why you need get ontopa this shit now, Sook! Teenage boys are the devil and we need to be ready!" my brother bellowed at me.

The sound of our friends and family in stitches coming from behind me was the last straw.

"Okay, that's it. Everybody out!" I commanded in a tone that _should_ have left no room for arguments.

"Honey, be reasonable…" Eric began to plead.

"Hon_-ney_, if you ever hope to get into my pants again… Shut. Up. _NOW_."

I almost smiled when Eric's jaw audibly snapped shut.

Almost.

It wasn't even that I didn't understand where they were coming from to some degree. Of course I would worry about the girls. I'd worry about everything under the sun and stars.

That was a parent's job.

But really, this was all a bit much.

Jason huffed and puffed about "having too much more shit to do to be leaving now", but thankfully started gathering up his half of The Artpocalypse.

Unfortunately, however, not before promising Eric to continue his work at home.

Before I could gut my brother like a fish, Tara stepped in to save his ass.

"Don't worry none, Sook. I'll fuck him into submission. He won't be thinkin' 'bout charts after I'm done with his monkey ass," Tara promised with a reassuring pat to my shoulder on her way to the door. "Pie charts?! Stupid, sorry motherfucker. The only 'pie' he needs to concern his dumbass with is _mine_."

He'd be one sorry mother if he didn't prioritize his pie consumption, too. The look on her face ensured that.

Unfortunately, no one else fucking moved.

"The door is _that way_, folks," I pointed toward said door, rather impatiently.

And still, no one fucking moved.

"See, I always told y'all too much pussy fried brain cells. Y'all thought I was playin'. Now you sees why I prefer dicks," Laf crowed like he'd just revealed the secrets of the universe.

"Get. Out," I growled, loud enough that they should have known better.

If I had to ask again, heads were gonna fuckin' _roll_!

Apparently, they'd finally noticed the irritable pregnant woman in the room, because everyone was suddenly beating-feet to the door.

Good fuckin' thing too, because I was about to put a hurtin' on someone.

"Sook," Eric began cautiously as the last of our Asshat Brigade filed out the door.

"No. You, sit on the couch until I don't want to strangle you. Once I've had half a million deep breaths, then we'll talk."

Wisely, Eric was smart enough not to tempt my patience further today and placed his delectable tush on the sofa. I walked out onto the porch and stared ahead, seeing nothing, but deeply breathing.

He might be an overly-susceptible-to-bad-suggestions moron on occasion, but he was my moron…

And I loved him desperately.

I went back inside to find a confused and dejected looking Eric. I walked slowly to him, giving him a soft smile as I climbed into his lap.

"Honey, I know you're worried about what will happen with the girls as they grow up. Any good parent would. But you can't seriously think chastity belts are the solution, right?"

"But Jason said…"

"Jason can't tie his fucking shoes without help. I mean, I love my brother, but he's not the sharpest knife in the drawer. And just because he's defiled more daughters than should be legal, doesn't mean we'll let anyone like him near our girls."

"I just want to make sure they're safe, that's all. Just the _thought_ of someone putting their hands on my babies makes me want to drain them dry. And since you _love_ vampires so much, I figure you'd be all for it," he added with a wry grin.

"Smartass," I giggled. "Vampires are hot and all, but let's put the kybosh on blood-letting, shall we?"

"Harumph…"

"Eric, you'll be the most amazing daddy. We'll love them, protect them, and raise them to avoid any 'Jasons' at all costs. It'll be fine, I promise."

"I love you, Sook. Thanks for putting up with my brand of crazy."

"No problem, honey. Besides, you put up with my hormone-fueled turbo bitchiness. I'd say we're even. Now… go clean up that fucking office before I change my mind about wanting to worship that beautiful dick of yours…"

You never saw a man move so fast.

I was promptly lifted from his lap and deposited on the cushion next to him, before he tore ass into the office to rid our lives of Salvador Dali's nightmares.

I swear, women could rule the world simply by offering blowjobs.

Men…

Such simple creatures.

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all!**_

_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_


	30. Chapter 30: The End

_**Thanks to my beta, Ali989969! Her sense of humor, wit, and talent are a pleasure to be surrounded by. **_

_**Disclaimer – I still don't own them, and for this story at least, I'm done playing with them.**_

_**Enjoy…**_

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**EPOV**_

"Did you lock the door?"

"Yes… I'm sure I did."

"Eric, you know what's gonna happen if you didn't. She'll catch us, red-handed. Again. And it'll be your balls in a sling this time around, buddy."

"Well, technically it would be 'dick-handed', and you don't have balls, but I see your point. Don't worry. She won't suspect a thing. She's not even supposed to be home for another hour."

I honestly couldn't have cared if she came in with a flame thrower five minutes from now. I needed to be inside this gorgeous creature, posthaste. It had been far too long, and my poor neglected dick needed some action.

Being married had put a tremendous drain on my sex life, and I'd had enough.

Fuck the consequences.

All I could focus on was the feeling of my cock being stroked by soft, warm hands. All wanted next was to feel it sliding into her tight heat. Nothing else mattered but this.

Here, now…

I'd deal with the fallout when it came.

And it would be _so_ worth it.

Her hot little hands with their torturous twisting and pulling had me on edge already. I refused to come on her stomach like a teenage virgin so I carefully backed my hips away from her, forcing her to release my throbbing dick.

Hand jobs were lovely and all, but not nearly what I needed after weeks without sexy-time.

I climbed between her supple thighs, groaning as my tip nudged her entrance. She was soaked, practically dripping. Just the slightest twist of my hips and I'd be sliding home.

Taking her pert nipple into my mouth, I shifted slightly. Just enough that my eyes rolled back as her heat engulfed me. Thrusting forward, probably a little less gently than I should have, I buried myself within her to the hilt in one stroke.

Her nails pricked my shoulders, possibly drawing blood, as a long and indescribably sexy moan passed her lips. I mewled helplessly as I began long division in my head, desperate to hold on a bit longer.

Several deep, not so calming, breaths later, I could finally move without erupting. I pulled out slowly until only the tip of me remained sheathed within her, biting down firmly on the rosy bud still sucked between my teeth. How I was going to last more than mere seconds was a mystery to me, but I'd die trying.

She needed to come with me.

Period.

As much as I wanted to slam back into her, fucking her until the whole town heard our cries; I knew I'd go off like a firecracker if I did. Painfully slowly, I drove back into her silken depths, calling to God and releasing her delicious nipple in the process.

Our pace was steady, our movements gaining in momentum, and I knew I wouldn't last much longer. I reached between us and began to rub circles on her throbbing clit, pinching it every so often for good measure. Her cries began to increase in frequency and pitch.

_Thank God, too. _

I wasn't going to make it if she didn't hurry.

My balls were heavy, and lightning bolts shot through me with every slap they made against her ass. I could feel the pit of my stomach tightening as my legs began to shake with the force of my impending release.

_This was going to be a doozy._

"Oh God… I can't… gonna… come with me. Ahhhh…" I gritted as the last of my restraint left me.

"Almost… there," my sexy minx groaned.

I captured her mouth with a punishing force just as my fingers pinched her clit, firmly. I devoured her screams as her walls gripped my cock with such vigor, white lights flashed in fantastic patterns behind my clenched eyes.

I roared like a man possessed, utterly unable to hold back the torrent of cum her pussy milked from me. I bucked and seized helplessly, hoping I wouldn't crush her as my body shot stream after stream of my seed deep within her.

We probably should have considered condoms before this moment occurred, but alas…

We were too caught up in the moment at the time.

Add that to the list of things I'd deal with when the time came.

Speaking of…

Apparently, I _had_ forgotten to lock the bedroom door.

It flew open to reveal an enraged blonde in the hallway, hands firmly on her hips, eyes blazing.

"Again?! Are you kidding me?" she bellowed.

"Umm… baby, it's…"

"Don't you baby me! I told you two, no more! And you promised!" she whined, puffy lip firmly on display.

"But honey…"

"But nothing, Daddy. I told you two that I don't want any more siblings, and I meant it! I'm so disappointed in you both."

I probably could have taken my daughter's rant a little more seriously, were it not for my wife below me. Her silent laughter was shaking her whole body, and making my cock begin to stiffen within her.

"Not helping, Sook."

"Not trying, honey. I told you it'd be your balls in the sling this time."

"Hooker," I laughed.

"Only for you, baby," she quipped as she flexed her inner muscles, making me groan helplessly.

"Mommy, Daddy… I expect you to be fully dressed and in the living room in five minutes for a family meeting. We have things to discuss," Connie declared with a pointed glare.

"Jeesh, kid. Give your folks a break now," Jason admonished as his head appeared in our doorway. "Sorry guys, but you know how she can be. She drove the rest of your brood nuts, and riled the piss outta mine, until I agreed to take her home. The little drill sergeant even stole my damn phone so I couldn't give y'all a heads up."

I'd have liked to have been shocked by Connie's tenacity, but we'd grown all too familiar with it by now. She was the leader of our house in many ways. Sure, we were still the parents and it was Sook and I who ultimately made the rules, but our ten year old was a take charge kinda monster.

Julia, Connie's identical twin, frequently claimed to be adopted. Only Jason was stupid enough to _actually_ inquire about it once. I swear, had he not put back the better part of a bottle of Jack that night, I might have killed him.

For his own good, of course.

Sook and I had gotten married about a month after what she'd dubbed the "Artpocalypse", which admittedly, was a fantastic name for it. I still feel like a total schlep for letting Jase talk me into all that insanity back then, but to be fair… I was a bit overwhelmed.

Anyway, we'd had the girls a few months after we were married and while they were a bit early, and really tiny, they were perfectly healthy and had brought nothing but joy to our lives since.

_Well… aside from Connie's obsessive "no more babies" bullshit, anyway._

Two years later we'd welcomed Michael into our lives, and eighteen months after that came Connor. Three years after Connor came Adele, Michele, and Jacob.

Yeah… apparently multiples were our thing.

Eighteen months after our triplets came Camille and Layla, and we swore we were done.

Surely God didn't intend for us to grow our own sports team? Right?!

_WRONG_!

A year ago we had Shannon. Shannon should have been a twin as well, but Rose developed a respiratory infection that quickly turned into pneumonia, and she'd gone to be with her great-Grandmother just ten days after her birth.

It was a loss we'd never truly get over, and was where all of Connie's fears regarding future children came from. My gorgeous little Rose took her last breath in the arms of her older sister, and my oldest daughter had refused to entertain the idea of more siblings since.

Even with the loss of one of our children, however, life had been good to us. All things considered.

Jason and Tara had married shortly after we had and have had four kids of their own. Coincidentally, they had a set of twin boys about a year after our first girls.

Needless to say, the cousins drove each other crazy… but they watched over one another fiercely.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Tara and Jase are expecting their next child any day now. They've chosen to be surprised by the birth of this one, since Jase had a vasectomy shortly after Tara had passed the "danger zone" with this pregnancy. Five was their limit, and we all understood that.

Little Rose's death had taken a toll on all of us, in one form or another.

Lafayette and Jesus were married a few months back, in a completely legal ceremony… now that our fine government had decided to pull its head from its ass. It was a wonderful day to see bigotry fall by the wayside, and we couldn't be happier for them. They adopted a daughter, Carrie, about a year ago and were the most amazing parents. We found ourselves blessed, and so very proud to call them family. Our lives wouldn't be the same without them.

Bill had never had the chance to bother us again, and while I would never wish a painful death upon anyone… I didn't shed a single tear at his demise. He'd been sentenced to prison after a lengthy court battle, and while serving his time he'd run toe-to-toe with our man Bubba.

Bubba was a classmate growing up who'd always been extremely protective of Sook. They were never more than friends, but Bubba adored my wife and had always gone out of his way to make sure she was safe.

Bubbs was a wonderful man, too… he'd just gotten real tired of his old man beating his momma senseless, and the night his father stabbed that sweet woman to death – Bubba had lost it.

They say there wasn't much of a body left to find after Bubbs was done with that rotten bastard. And as much as everyone at the Bon Temps PD hated to do it, they had to arrest our boy. He was sentenced to life in prison due to the violent nature of his crime.

Justified or not, one simply doesn't get away with shredding another human being like a head of cabbage.

So… when _Billyboy_ decided to talk one day in the prison cafeteria about 'Ms. Stackhouse' in an unseemly manner, Bubbs decided to add another life sentence to his time by eviscerating Bill with a sharpened toothbrush and his bare hands.

Needless to say, our dear Bubba gets Christmas cards from us, along with a carton of smokes, every year.

Lorena had never made another appearance, and I doubted she ever would. She had actually apologized to Sook and me at Bill's trial. _Apparently_ she'd finally realized just how batshit crazy that sick fuck really was.

_Go. Figure._

_Bill, nuts?_

_Nahhhh…_

As Sook and I finally trudged our way out into the living area to deal with our daughter's wrath, I couldn't help but smile.

Who knew a chance meeting would lead me to the happiest time in my life?

Surrounded by a friends and family, and happier than I'd ever dreamed possible.

I thank God every day that I'd decided to come back home, and had walked into Merlotte's that night all those years ago.

_**%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%**_

_**Over a year (going on two) to complete this bad-boy, if we go by my original publishing date which I believe was Sept. 2011. Wooowwww!**_

_**Well, it was a great ride with this story, but all good things must come to an end… and I'm not even sure how "good" this really was, lol. What a mess of antics this was! But I truly enjoyed the experience, both times around with this.**_

_**A huge thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, alerted or favorite this story (or any of my others). I adore you all! Those of you who rode this train from original beginning to the end – I can't thank you enough. It's the original reviews for this story that gave me the strength and courage to keep writing. Each of you holds a special place in my heart. **_

_**I'm happy to say that now that this story is finished, I will be free to begin work on A Thousand Years again. I'm not going to promise an update date, but I will promise it is now FINALLY going to be in the works again. Thank you to all of you who have waited so patiently for an update on that story!**_

_**Love and hugs to all, thanks for reading!**_

_**Jen**_


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